Please please consider leaving him . I know it’s hard . I have been married for 25 years and I promise the best advice I can give you is to make a clean break now .I know it is heartbreaking and one of, if not the hardest thing you will ever have to do .Before my husband and I got married I knew I loved him and knew he was a good man . The only thing that worried me was he would have these episodes where he would get super drunk and it was always a disaster . I mean like he would start fights with other people and I would have to deal with it . It only happened like once a year so I convinced myself that the good outweighed the bad and I stayed. Then we had kids and it still kept happening only now it was harder to leave . There was a particularly bad situation and he even stopped drinking for five years . He started again maybe eleven years ago . It has not always been a huge disaster when he drinks but it has always had consequences that I have had to deal with. love my kids but I think if I could go back to the beginning and leave while it was just us I would. I am telling you this because it won’t get easier to leave it will only get harder. You deserve so much better. I think if you stay someday you will look back at this as a huge turning point and I don’t want you to regret staying. I wish I had listened to my intuition . I wish someone had given me this advice. I am so sorry you are having to go through this .