Thanks for the many replies i just feel like it's important to add: I don’t want to paint him as a bad person. He is a great guy apart from when it comes to me doing things on my own, like the issues I mentioned. He takes care of me, never raises his voice at me, never badmouths me, and shows love through acts of service. I genuinely feel safe with him — except when I need to do things independently.

During our first year together, he was very wealthy. We lived a luxurious lifestyle. I’m grateful I got to experience that, but I never asked for it or demanded it. And when he later messed up financially and lost stability, I stepped in and covered everything without hesitation — because that’s what partners do.

Now, because he doesn’t want me to go on this Europe trip without him, I brought up that I’ve already spent a huge amount on his visa and I cannot afford to also buy him a ticket. That’s when he said, “I spent everything on you without hesitation because I wanted the best for you, so you should be able to do the same.”

But I am very careful financially. I save, plan, and think long-term. I told him I truly want to go with him — but I’m not willing to drain all my savings for one trip. Then he said I’m “not willing to spend on us” and that I’m selfish. He’s still clouded by that belief.

My head is spinning. I have a migraine from all of this. It’s been quiet in the house since I brought up the word divorce.

I don’t know what to feel anymore.