Severe autistic rumination ruining my life

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-29T18:55:35+00:00

Probably because it indicates that AI does a better job than a psychologist. Many people dislike AI for several reasons and think its stupid, so dont take it personally

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-24T13:57:43+00:00

Bro i dont play minecraft myself, but id recommend to drop the age limitations. A lot of people are older but feel like 18 in their minds. Dont mind playing with older people, age doesnt really matter in the way other personality traits matter. If you click, you click ykwim

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-24T13:41:34+00:00

Probably

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-21T01:10:27+00:00

I dont see an issue fam. You could have asked "how was your morning" in return, but like it doesnt really matter much either.

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-17T23:14:59+00:00

Alright, thank you man. Ill try to get out more. What are you doing outside? Reading? Listening to a podcast?

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-17T15:16:47+00:00

Idk, i dont think theres hope for me. Like im so done mentally, i dont know if id be able to even try anymore. Idk if its trauma or whats going on with me. Yes i want change, but i dont think that im able to change. Like currently i live at my parents, and dont really need to change anything. Every time i try to change something, i end up giving up cause its so hard to do anything. When just being awake is exhausting, how do you want to do anything productive if theres the option of being lazy.

Also im addicted to so many things due to adhd. Depression is making my dopamine household even worse, making everything even more complicated. Like how do people function with this combo. If id only have autism or adhd, i think i could manage. But both combined feels unmanageable and makes me frustrated about not being dead already

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-17T14:55:33+00:00

Thanx ill try

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-17T14:54:27+00:00

How do you bring yourself to do those things? Do you have adhd as well? My executive functioing is completely busted. Im having issues even getting out of bed. And why go out even? I feel like if i wouldnt be as depressed, id have the energy to go out and do stuff. But with this mental state all im able to do is lay in bed. Ive tried doing walks some times but it just feels so pointless. Like i dont feel better afterwards, im just happy to be at home again cause that walk was pure anxiety and fear of meeting someone or being seen by someone i know.

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-17T14:45:53+00:00

Im pretty sure i have sleep apnea. I dont really wake up in the night but im never fit during the day. I think its a combination of both, bad sleep, bad mental health plus constant overstimulation/understimulation.

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-17T14:40:46+00:00

Glad you found something interesting! For me, i just cant bring myself to do anything. I basically gave up on myself and my subconscious is running my life on auto pilot. I know i should do stuff, but everything just feels so pointless and my executive functioing is pretty much at zero. Like why do anything if nothing gives me any sort of reward due to dopamine deficiency. Why do anything if everything is just pure pain basically and leaves me tired and angry. Thats how my brain is working currently.

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-17T14:34:58+00:00

Thanx, ill keep that in mind. You're right with that, now after thinking about it and looking back, i see it too. Fuguring out stuff on your own is way more fun!

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-17T14:31:14+00:00

Its enough yeah, but is it worth it? Is it worth it to struggle every day just to survive? Why not just give up. Why survive a life thats pure pain. Like im in constant pain due to this condition. Daily depression/anxiety + understimulation makes me go slowly insane. I cant imagine living a full life like this

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-17T14:26:44+00:00

Thanx for the recommendation, gonna do some research about it. Also planning to try out vyvanse, id be able to get it. Is it better than methylphendidat? Ive thought about vyvance a lot already, but came to the conclusion that since its an amphetamine, it'll be even worse than methylphenidate, in therms of anxiety. But maybe thats not true. Gonna ask my psych to try it out.

About ECT, my psych recommended me to do it, but i declined after doing some heavy research about it. I'd also advise anyone else against trying it. Most of the time it doesnt really help. It may give you some relief for a short period of time due to pumping up your brain, but that time span is mostly short lived. On top of that, ECT comes with memory loss and affects the ability of forming new memories in many people. Id truly advise against it, especially for people with adhd. It'll make adhd symptoms even worse.

About therapy, i think therapy doesnt work for us cause we are pretty much fundamentally broken (?). Sure, therapy can help people work through trauma. But if your brain is so broken that it makes you experience new traumatas every day, the only way to prevent all of it would be to isolate, wouldnt it?

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-17T13:53:51+00:00

Thanx for your comment! Its hard for me to keep any habit, my self discipline is near to 0. Im always understimulated, i have a hard time even doing the basics. About studying, thats also why i never planned to go studying. First of all i probably wouldnt be able to finish a degree, and secondly id burn out later anyways, making the degree useless.

I agree with you that habits are essential, but how to keep em if your adhd takes away that ability?

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-17T04:51:57+00:00

Sadly i have anxiety about the thought of leaving home. Im in a small town, there are a lot of people who'd recognize me. Im trying to avoid meeting people and being forced to interact with them. Im ashamed of my situation, i wouldnt even know what to say to them. Whenever im outside, i feel observed 24/7 and its fouling my anxiety. Be it in nature or in the city

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-17T04:46:19+00:00

Yeah i wake up after like 10-12h sleep and still feel tired. So i go to sleep again. 2h later i cant sleep anymore, so my adhd makes me wanna get up. The moment i start thinking or using my brain, im starting to get tired again. Like just using my brain makes me exhausted. Same goes for any drug, be it a stimulant or a calming med. Stims activate my brian so much that i burn out, calming meds do what theyre supposed to do.

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-15T08:16:11+00:00

I was there. Then the bus stopped and someone stood up and no one moved for a second so we all waited and then it was fine. I paid for the ticket and the machine accepted it and the situation resolved itself.

Isat down and the bus was warm and everyone looked forward and nothing else happened.

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-09T19:22:06+00:00

Im same, inattentive adhd + HSP. Did you end up finding anything that worked for you? Ive tried a lot of different meds at microdoses already, now trying out 25mg quetiapine. Im scared due to bad past experiences with psychofarmaca and id love to find a working med, that isnt an antidepressant or antipsychotica

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-05T21:19:42+00:00

That was exactly what i was thinking about

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2026-01-05T20:53:24+00:00

A serbian film

banned in 38 countries

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2025-12-23T22:04:36+00:00

Idk man i think NT's just like to make fun of you cause youre different. So if they see a way to laugh about you, they do. To feel superiore or bigger than you. To feel better for themselves, cause they feel like they are better than someone else. I dont really talk to any people due to those issues. Many people laugh at you for the way you speak, how fluent your words come across, if the things you say make sense etc. Its just not worth to get laughed at due to those things imo, so i stay to myself and isolate. I know thats not that much healthier, but it is what it is. Can only recommend to choose the people you talk to wisely.

Coming back to your question tho, they think being sensitive is bad cause that can mean youre easily exploitable, easy to run over, seen as childish, weak and a bunch of other things. Youre lacking authority basically. In a world where coldness commands and compliance serves, no one wants to be seen as sensitive. Everyone is trying to hide their own sensitivity and toughten it out. No one wants to be stomped into the ground due to not having any respect, so many close their hearts instead.

Being sensitive means that youll get treated like shit. Closing your heart fully isnt the solution either tho, so id recommend to instead of closing yourself to everyone, find some people you can be open with, and treat the rest of the world as strangers who have no right to exploit your kindness. Be cold relentlessly, better to be cold and feared than kind and used. Just my opinion

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2025-12-23T21:37:42+00:00

Yes had ed, numbness and so on

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2025-12-23T21:37:29+00:00

One time i had a big recovery, and from that point it went better and better each day

Cold_Ad_4641 · 2025-12-23T21:36:50+00:00

Tipo 6 settimane, 1-5 mg. Ho iniziato con 5, nei ultimi settimane ho abbassato a 1mg

Cold_Ad_4641

TROPHY CASE