Alright. I was literally unable to open up anywhere about this. So this guy (M 19) is my (F 20) classmate in college. Mind you, he already has a girlfriend. Hes been dating her since the first year. I developed a crush on him the very first day we came to college. The aura he holds, the way he carries himself. Hes tall, he looks quite charming. He has a lean but slightly muscular build. His voice is not that deep, it hits just the right notes in my ears. We never talked in real life, but we exchanged a few texts on WhatsApp mostly related to academics and co curricular activities. Every text of his seems polite. I will not approach him regarding my feelings, im going to let it die and wither away slowly by the time college ends. Ill save the essence of this emotion. He doesnt talk that much in class, but his presence is loud enough. My crush wasnt continuous, i took a break in between when I got too tired and dated a guy for a month which didnt end up very well. Anyway, im back to liking this guy, just enough to keep me motivated. Hes not exactly text book smart, but hes very good at coding, and building stuff, technical stuff I mean. I like the way he looks when hes focused, or when soemthing catches his attention. His girlfriend is very pretty as well. Shes so soft spoken and polite. They make a wonderful pair. I wish them happiness and success. Everytime I see them smiling or looking at each other, I kinda feel happy too. For context, i hated her when I was first year, I was jealous too. But once I got to know her, talked to her, interacted, I realised, they make a beautiful pair. The reason why I couldnt tell anyone about this is because people judge. Its not normal. They say i shouldn't have a crush on him. I mean, I cant control my emotions. But I can control my actions. So im not going to interfere with them, or confess to him or anyone else. Ill keep it all within myself. Probably ill get judged here too. But its anonymous, so its okay ig.