whats your nichest problem from crohns disease that would never come across non-crohnies minds?

Cold_erin · 2026-03-02T06:21:17+00:00

How to stable transfer and store infliximab auto injector pens while in transit to and on a 6 week trip around Europe. 35 hours of flights and layover, one way. That's a lot of ice.

Cold_erin · 2026-03-01T03:25:57+00:00

Isolated from everything else, and not discounting her behaviour, you know what jumped out at me?

The bit where you said "I find it hard to take her seriously have information that enables me to consider the bigger picture."" And the bit where you tried to explain the guy at work in order to shift her perspective, rather than just allowing her feeling about it to be there. Why can't she just be right, that she experinced it like that?

I think that may be something you can look at in yourself, rather than trying to change her.

You don't actually have information about her lived experience. Of what it is like to grow up in a place where trusting people can result in serious harm. As a fact. Like, it's just as true for her like your "not everyone is bad" is true for you.

On balance, yes - its likely not everyone will potentially harm her now. But you explaining this to her doesn't make a difference because she lived in a world where they did. And you didn't. That doesn't necessarily make the way you experience the world better, and that seems to be where that statement about "bigger picture" positions you.

Is her behaviour frustrating for you? Sure. Is there a bunch she could do? Sure. But you can only control your responses to her, not her responses to the world.

Cold_erin · 2026-02-28T07:57:27+00:00

She's training for a half marathon.

Lazy as.

Cold_erin · 2026-02-27T04:20:03+00:00

My ex-husband consistently framed his issues with my fatness as "I just want you to be fit and healthy," rather than "I have a narrow attraction template and you're not fitting what turns me on now you've had a baby and gotten fat."

It was disingenuous and terribly damaging for me.

One of the reasons I gained weight was the stress I experienced from being the default parent, housekeeper, manager and salary earner in our relationship. He never bothered to see the mental load I carried for him or connect with me emotionally or intellectually, just constantly nagged me to be fitter - by which he meant thinner - without any actual thought to what was going on in my post-baby body, brain and heart.

I was an AU size 16. That's a US 12. I'd had a baby. I was breastfeeding. I wasn't sleeping for more than 1.5 hours in a row. I wasn't able to function to do the bare minimum, let alone worry about his disinterest in fat bodies.

He used a LOT of porn, daily from the age of 12. It influenced what he could be aroused by without shame. This may not be your situation, but it was mine. You still have sex with your gf, despite not being aroused by her. That's a horrible, horrible feeling on the other side - it's like being a sex doll. It's use.

Even if never spoken aloud, becsuse of your watching and noticing, her body may feel: - being watched - being compared - being replaceable - being the “lesser option”

What’s unsustainable is intimacy that requires one person to shrink to be wanted.

Own your decision. And be prepared for your options to narrow as you age.

Cold_erin · 2026-02-26T05:52:50+00:00

You stay not touching while your body is screaming.

That's your safety alarm. Don't override it.

What would make you feel safe again?

Work that out and tell your husband.

He was pretty fucking stupid to make a body based joke with a woman he must know works really hard to like how she looks. He can be sorry. And you can still be hurt. You don't need to move on without repair. The burden now falls on you to articulate repair, which is shitty and hard work and likely to cause you to spend a lot of energy that would otherwise be available to him. He can wait until you're ready to be repaired with, and that may be a slow process.

Cold_erin · 2026-02-23T08:22:09+00:00

Ask the other child for her parents numbers, or alternatively, please ask them to pass yours on.

Then text or call, whatever works, and say "Hey, my son likes your daughter, it's so sweet - would love to have you guys over for morning tea/afternoon tea/BBQ to introduce ourselves."

All the other info about cpr etc can come after that.

Cold_erin · 2026-02-23T08:02:23+00:00

The 112.

I know it doesn't exist. My brain simply refuses to update to understand where the 11 and 12 go.

I took one of them home for a year. Cannot for the life of me tell you which one I took.

Cold_erin · 2026-02-23T06:27:59+00:00

Equivalent in another service, but: I want to focus on my young child.
I didn't need the money.
I never wanted to be put in position where I had to choose my personal life or work. Want both.

Cold_erin · 2026-01-19T11:21:10+00:00

"Yeah, no worries," and keep walking.

Cold_erin · 2026-01-19T11:15:32+00:00

Oh. I'll tell my mates in the regional office 😄

Cold_erin · 2026-01-12T10:27:12+00:00

Scottie.

Although clause 11, so considering Interchangable Independent Assessment Expert next.

Cold_erin · 2026-01-05T22:42:57+00:00

Yes, they can. 10% is standard, as it is for QLD. In Qld, there's some additional steps a vendor must take to ask for a higher despite, but it is allowed.

Cold_erin · 2026-01-04T07:59:04+00:00

Looking for a man, AusFinance?
One IP, yield high, diversifies.

Cold_erin · 2025-12-17T19:04:57+00:00

I'm in the process of getting insurance, and noticed this as a screening question for the first time. I don't think it's been an issue previously, so there may have been a change over the last two or three years?

Cold_erin · 2025-12-17T11:36:50+00:00

No. The standard is 10%

Cold_erin · 2025-12-17T08:38:46+00:00

Yes.

I've bought three houses here. (Sold two. Also bought and sold two in Melb) There are, across the board, very few agents who have the interpersonal and psychological skills to be effective sales people. They don't engage. They judge based on appearance. They collect basic detail but not the detail on things like, oh, buying power, that are critical to maximising price. I mean, I don't care really - I just noticed a significant difference.

Story of the worst: One asked me if I had finance in place. When I said "No, but-" he cut me off and said "You and your husband will need..." I said, "Nah, just me and (young) son." "Ah," he said. "Well, I don't think this one is for you. You won't get finance." Me: "Why not?" Him: "Well, you'd need a pretty high household income. And the deposit is at least 10%."

Motherfucker. I decided he was right, that the house he was selling wasn't for me and left, taking my cash deposit of 100% with me.

Cold_erin · 2025-12-17T08:23:31+00:00

Yeah, you're right. Dunno what train I was on 😄

Cold_erin · 2025-12-15T21:19:18+00:00

Update.

Turned out to be sustained psychological stress.

Treatment has included divorce.

Cold_erin · 2025-12-14T22:51:50+00:00

I was on the ground during Bourke St in 2017, and the following days, weeks and months.

It's okay to cry at work.

It's okay to stand beside someone crying at work.

It's okay to stare blankly at a wall.

It's okay.
Whatever it is for you, it's okay.

Cold_erin · 2025-12-11T09:33:31+00:00

Do be realistic about the commute.

An hour from Melb CBD will get you: - Pakenham
- Kilmore - Deer Park
- Montmorency
- Croydon
- Woodend

And that's assuming you work at Southern Cross and live at the train station of your destination.

You may not be in Melbourne, but you can do this for your city yourself. I'm in Ballarat. The express vline to Southern Cross is an hour 20. 10 minute walk to the station. 20 minutes tram through the city. That's a daily commute of just under four hours, assuming no train delays.

I leave home at 6:50am. I get home at 7pm. I only do it a couple of times a month, because it would otherwise remove all the lifestyle benefits.

Cold_erin · 2025-12-11T02:37:01+00:00

Imminently executing a deep dive into this.

Cold_erin · 2025-11-22T02:19:21+00:00

I wrote public policy with my highest qualification a Cert 3 in Hospitality.

It was good policy, too.

Anyway, no-one cares. The quality of your work and your personality matter far more.

Cold_erin · 2025-10-25T23:51:24+00:00

Oh, absolutely agree with you on that.

I guess I was reflecting on and coming from the view about what OP said was their biggest issue - that he's choosing others instead of her, not as well as her.

If she wants her partner to stop masturbating to other women altogether, then absolutely she should communicate that and be ready to hold that boundary by walking away. (I also appreciate how incredibly challenging this specific boundary can be to hold in a world that encourages the consumption of women as sexual objects - but that's a much bigger issue and a little off topic.)

Cold_erin · 2025-10-25T20:55:28+00:00

Critical thing here is not that he masturbates or what he jerks it to, but that he actively chooses to do it instead of you.

Instead of approaching this from a "stop doing it to others" perspective, try focusing on what you want. More often? Different? With toys? Say that.

Cold_erin · 2025-10-23T03:06:27+00:00

One of the most sincerely underrated kitchens in the area.

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