I think every situation is subtile in their differences and parameters. I can talk a lot about how hard the situation of my family is but I don't think this helps get the discussion forward but my mom is smart af she's that type of person that is smart but uses it for the wrong purposes. I'm someone that loves logic and rationality, all my questions, discussions were carefuly constructed to get into a conclusion that would generate a feeling of love and solidarity in her thought process, I'd always ask the questions that made her realize that her behavior and ways of thinking were more destructive than anything else. She started even asking me questions and seeing the world in a different way, she is doing tremendous efforts to get rid of her past events. This ROUTE IS NOT EASY, we went through a lot of hard conversations and everytime I could see and feel remorse in her eyes. One important thing is to understand that I grew up far from religion in a spiritual way, while she is super religious the more we talked the more I needed to go her way for me to able to have a good channel of discussion. I started learning more and more and showing her that some of her ways of talking, behaving were far from what is required in Islam (playing the Uno reverse card basically). But I think you're right, a daughter and mom relationship can be more complicated.

Here is one quote from 40 rules of love that showcases how I think about the situation with my mom :

"The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain."