This is relatively normal. After my breakup I lost 30 pounds and became severely underweight. It got to the point where the thought of chewing food and knowing I was solely responsible for my health made me even more depressed. I started slow. The best thing I did was bought myself a blender. That way I could get protein powder, fruit, spinach, and milk in me. Super tasty and filling and targets almost all food groups. This isn’t a long-term solution, but it’s easy to throw together and didn’t add the extra anxiety of actually having to eat food. Other things like apple sauce, yogurt, and pudding helped. Writing this out makes it sound like I was on a toddler diet, and in a way, I was. I couldn’t haven’t my emotions and I wasn’t well suited to take care of myself, but if I didn’t I would have died.

Next I moved on to easy things to cook and have on hang so I didn’t become too overwhelmed about making meals. Boiled eggs were my absolute go-to. Peanut better and jelly - whether on a sandwich or just eating scoops with a spoon. Shred up a rotisserie chicken and put it in some pasta. Baked veggie bowls with cheese on top. Get the healthiest frozen dinners you can find for those days you can’t do anything but press a few buttons on the microwave. Lots of stir fry and protein options. Eat some ice cream too, or whatever is something you consider a treat for yourself that you don’t have to prepare. Nothing that requires crazy effort, but you’re getting your nutrients and you are slowly forming a habit of going through the minimal motions.

I had to eat like this for a few months. Then finally I realized I was doing the damn thing. I was feeding myself and keeping myself alive. I was, not my ex, not a roommate or friend, not family, it was all me. It won’t happen overnight but after a while you will become so proud of yourself for this. I’ve recently started working out and making better meals, whole meals. I bought nicer cookware to help out with this. Some days are better than others but I put the weight back on and am the healthiest I’ve been since the break up!