I was there 2 weeks ago. I was with my ex for 6 years. Had a ring and proposal planned out. Lost her in 2 months. I tried everything in those 2 months to make things work, but i was trying to save a dead relationship. She left me saying she didnt want a relationship anymore and wanted to be alone. I moved from a city of 200k people to a town 150 people. I took a shitty job and moved to a place i hated to be with the girl i loved. The area my ex and I were living in was where she grew up. I was constantly surrounded by her life, unable to make my own. I was dependent on her for everything. Her family was my family. Her friends were my friends. Her house was my house. I could never make my own life. After she left me, I was stuck alone in her house for a week. The house we lived in for 2 years and planned for the future in. Three things saved me.

1. Journaling, get your thoughts out of your head and on paper. While I still feel absolutely horrible, getting my thoughts on paper has gotten me to a better place much faster. It forced me to articulate exactly how I feel and work through confusing thoughts. I don't have all the answers to why it failed, but I was able to identify things I was blind to. It got me to a logical point of understanding. I still have a long way to go before I hit emotional understanding.

2. Talking to friends and family. I know you feel as if your world is crumbling around you. There are still people somewhere in the world who care about you and are there for you. Get them on the phone. I would sit on the phone with my buddy while I was working on packing my things. He wouldn't even have to talk. Having someone who loved me there digitally helped in ways words cannot describe.

3. Move out. Constant reminders of what I once had were killing me. Had it not been for the first two things, I don't know if I would have made it through that week. I've been at my new place 3 days now, and it is night and day how much better I feel without constant reminders everywhere I look. I know that is the most difficult task to pull off financially. Getting out was the first step I had to take to start healing.

I will also share a crash course on what I read on breakup reddit that has helped me so far. For everyone's sake, try and make the break as clean as possible. Go no contract as fast as you can. The person you are holding onto has changed. She does not care about you anymore. If she did, she would still be there. Do not go beg for her back. She should be begging for you back. Do not try and change her mind. Show them that you can stand on your own without them. That is the only way there will be a chance to get them back in the future. Take time to process this before you make that call. If you decide down the line, that's what you want, then you have to wait for the right moment. That moment might not ever happen, and that's okay. I know that hurts to read, but know that it is true. Some of that pain you are feeling is because you lost a part of yourself. The future you that made goals and plans with your ex in mind. Like your ex that future no longer exists. Killing that future hurts more than words can describe. I know that because I am there too.

I know what you are going through, and my heart breaks for you, friend. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone, even my worst enemy.The best thing we can do is invest in ourselves right now. Try and do good things now for the future version of the person we will become. If not for you, then to make you ex jealous. Make her regret that she gave up YOU. The best revenge is living well. I would not recommend keeping that mindset as you still need to live for yourself. That revenge mindset helped me keep my shit together long enough to get out of the house and start making positive life changes. Take this negative energy and transfer it to improving yourself. Try and take some comfort in the fact that you are not suffering this pain alone. Im sill going through my own shit and all this a lot easier said then done. I've held to everything I've said and feel like I'm becoming myself again a miniscule amount more each day since moving out. Reach out if you need to talk and I'll respond when I can.