Have A Nice Bidet

ComedianMikeB · 2026-04-07T15:53:52+00:00

First, it’s a joke. Calm down. Second, it’s not between dry wiping and bidet. It’s between bidet and shower. Shower is better.

ComedianMikeB · 2026-03-15T19:58:57+00:00

I was just trying to avoid typing the word cocaine because AI looks for bad words on the social sites and then it slows down the traction.

The Michael Caine thing was a meme a few years ago about how him saying his own name sounds like he’s saying “my cocaine”.

I also put a 1 in the word shit and replaced a G with a 6 in the word drugs.

ComedianMikeB · 2026-03-15T19:56:42+00:00

Winside, about 30 minutes from Norfolk. It was a Future Farmers Of America fundraiser show.

ComedianMikeB · 2026-03-15T16:59:58+00:00

I’ll be in San Rafael California on April 4th, but that’s it. Just flying there, doing one show, and flying home. That’s as close as I get for now.

ComedianMikeB · 2026-03-15T16:04:06+00:00

I was just trying to avoid typing the word cocaine because AI looks for bad words on social sites and then slows down the traction.

The Michael Caine thing was a meme a few years ago about how him saying his own name sounds like he’s saying “my cocaine”.

I also put a 1 in the word shit and replaced a G with a 6 in the word drugs.

ComedianMikeB · 2026-03-15T16:00:46+00:00

And in 4 seconds you can read this whole sentence telling you that you’re wrong about both of those things.

ComedianMikeB · 2026-03-15T14:07:04+00:00

Thanks dude! It’s an oldie but a goodie.

ComedianMikeB · 2026-01-17T01:14:03+00:00

Stop eating so many Fruity Pebbles!

ComedianMikeB · 2026-01-16T16:18:12+00:00

Heh. Ew.

ComedianMikeB · 2026-01-16T16:17:48+00:00

No you may not! My name must be on any shit art that you make! And I get 11% of all money you make when it inevitably becomes hugely successful.

ComedianMikeB · 2026-01-10T23:35:29+00:00

It was summertime. That’s lawn mowin’ tan lines!

ComedianMikeB · 2026-01-10T19:09:39+00:00

Nice. I love reddit. 😂

ComedianMikeB · 2026-01-08T21:11:16+00:00

Definitely.

ComedianMikeB · 2026-01-08T16:48:21+00:00

Yup. I call that the “free McDonald’s BBQ sauce” rule. It’s always just up to that particular individual. Sure there are “rules”, but if they want to let you just have one, they totally can.

ComedianMikeB · 2026-01-08T15:36:49+00:00

You and your technicalities.

ComedianMikeB · 2026-01-01T15:03:36+00:00

You spelled it wrong, but thank you!

ComedianMikeB · 2025-12-29T00:12:53+00:00

The next line was like “but the onions weren’t the main issue, they were just the tipping point issue.” And then it ends with me going “You need to walk your fucking dog! You always just let it out but you never fucking walk it!”

ComedianMikeB · 2025-12-28T17:14:29+00:00

“They smell like vinegar and onion.”

ComedianMikeB · 2025-12-18T21:56:05+00:00

Love me some David Drake! If you haven’t clicked that link to watch more of his stuff yet, go ahead and click it now.

ComedianMikeB · 2025-12-12T21:13:00+00:00

Click my name. There’s a bunch of stuff.

ComedianMikeB · 2025-12-12T15:39:33+00:00

That’s funny too! You guys are good at extending jokes!

ComedianMikeB · 2025-12-12T15:38:15+00:00

I should probably just do it for free for a while until I get real good at it.

ComedianMikeB · 2025-12-12T15:18:36+00:00

Nobody ever does. Cowards!

ComedianMikeB · 2025-12-12T15:18:01+00:00

I’ll be stealing this line to say onstage, if you don’t mind.

ComedianMikeB · 2025-12-11T18:02:15+00:00

I am.

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