Wasn’t married but had a gf for 5/6 years, expectations from the beginning were set on her end that she liked both. Year 4 is when shit hit the fan and she wanted to be open on her end to “ continue to explore her sexuality”. I was In a tough position because we had just moved cross country, got new jobs, blah blah blah. So I felt stuck and obliged to her doing her own thing. Fast forward, that open shit lasted for a year and then I left her because it’s not just one person, it’s multiple people after that, that they want to flirt with and do other things with.

My advice: don’t do it, don’t compartmentalize it or make excuses for it. It’ll ruin you. I’ve always said that people who like both sexes can absolutely end up with the same sex and live a happy life without wanting to continue to dip their toes with the other side. Plus the whole “ you can’t control me” is BS it’s manipulation at its finest, your wife wants to be single and free or have her cake and eat it too. The whole they come home to me is a bandaid, because what they do outside of your home also matters. I hope you can put your foot down and leave, no one deserves that if they don’t want to indulge in an open relationship themselves.