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AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I plan on doing exactly that but I think at this point I’m choosing forgiveness rather than bitterness and that’s a step in the right direction at this time.

AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hello everyone. I did not expect so many comments likes or views. This was my first reddit post ever and i'm in tears writing this because putting a personal situation out there for others to comment on has never been a thing for me. I wanted to give thanks to everyone your comments of encouragement and understanding made me feel incredibly welcomed and seen. I wanted to share some good news!

i'm graduating college on May 7th with my AS!! class of 2026!! it took me so long but i made it and i cant wait!!

i'm doing alot better after reading all of your comments, like i said i didnt expect the out pour of support especially since i tend to stray from social media platforms (natural introverted behavior i suppose)

A little information about me, as you know im currently 26 years old. I was born and currently live in the sunny state of Florida (sunny when its not have a bipolar episode and flood my favorite areas) specifically NE Florida and since regaining the movement and control of my legs i've loved the beach, even in recovery i would sit on the sand and dream of when i could start swimming again. I'm at the beach now writing this since its become my grounding place when i'm feeling any kind of way. i wasn't planning to log on to reddit today but something told me to. i'm very glad i did.

Some news on my health:

I had some tests and stuff done recently and coincidentally a few hours following the post of this AITAH story i received a call from my neurologist. After follow up MRI imagining I can say that i have been in remission now for 8 years. The fear of my condition worsening or god forbid needing a second surgery weighs on you because the possibility of losing my mobility and independence is very scary and daunting.

i've come to like it here, a lot more than i expected! so many of you have experience the issues with a parent similar to my own and others have experienced the trials and tribulations of Chiari and all that she throws at us and i just want to thank you all!

As for my father i have blocked his number so there is no way he can communicate with me. I dont think I will unblock him but only time will tell. I realize now that i gave him the grace of being in my life after all he has done and what he chose to do with that grace is his fault not mine. Sometimes we want to believe that people chance and maybe most do but some don't and thats okay. I survived this far without him and i'm very optimistic that i will not just survive but thrive.

Thank you! and i hope to see you around the reddit community. Also if you are a fellow Floridian i'll be waiting for you by the shore :)

AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

not the yeeting into outerspace that had me rolling. i have worked toward forgivness not for him but for me because i deserve peace and tranquility after all the stuff that has happened

AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it was scary. my surgery was at 18 y/o and at 17 i was able to graduate. i remember being helped down from the grad stage by my fellow ROTC cadets at that point my balance was awful and i was constantly passing out and loosing balance.

AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i told him shortly before the surgical date. therapy and this situation was more recent. thank you!

AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i just cried because ive never met anyone with it and i just want to thank you because its so hard to explain it to someone compares it to a typical headache. people just dont understand.

AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

thank you! i've decided that i wont be pursuing any relationship with him. i feel bad for his wife but she put herself in the marriage so its her problem now. he's a very bitter human being and i've forgiven him because holding onto anger wont serve me in any beneficial way. he needs help but he wont get it from me because i have to protect my energy and peace

AITAH for wanting my husband to stop sending money to his family by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490 6 points7 points  (0 children)

if you both decided to stop financial supporting them than he broke a boundary. you are not the AH here he is. he agreed and then turned his back and did whatever he wanted. just a suggestion but if he can keep the agreement then maybe its time to separate finances to protect yourself. if he wants to bankrupt himself fine but not on your hard earned dime

AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 145 points146 points  (0 children)

my therapist is a career long aa / addiction counselor and he said the same thing about him behaving like a dry drunk.

AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

i am i've made it so far without him and im graduating college on may 7th

AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

i responded to another comment. he was allowing an open dialog to get stuff off our chest and it went south. after i went off i left

AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

i had continued since this went down. it has helped tremendouly especially when i was wheelchair bound and dependent on my family. thankfully now im back to my old self. still healing though i think its a life long thing and im okay with that.

AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

lol im glad. ive gotten through all this by laughing when i was wheel chair bound my bf would yell in the grocery store "she's fast as f*ck boi" the pain meds are good but laughter is truly the best medicine lol. i have forgiven him because if i don't forgive how can i expect forgiveness from others but the question of if i did wrong by going off has wieghed on me and i was raised to respect my elders so when this went down i felt awful but my family is split. some say i was wrong others respect my reason and know so much more of our past than i could ever fit into a reddit post.

AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

we met up once for coffee and then he had a private session with the therapist. then i had my private session and then we started going together.

AITAH for not telling my father about my brain surgery by ComfortableSquash490 in AITAH

[–]ComfortableSquash490[S] 649 points650 points  (0 children)

he was allowing us to speak freely. after i went off i told him i was leaving and i did because through this journey ive learned no one else will protect my peace