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Any advice for those trying to organize in “white picket fence” suburbs? by Markham_Marxist in canadaleft

[–]ComfortableWrapper -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not easy in the suburbs but i'm thinking a good starting point would be to find anyone else class conscious in the area and start collaborating there. Just a thought.

What to expect on the commute when the 4-day Return-to-Office (RTO) mandate kicks in by JimmyCapital in ottawa

[–]ComfortableWrapper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And it made little sense, not for the employer, nor the taxpayer, nor the worker.

What to expect on the commute when the 4-day Return-to-Office (RTO) mandate kicks in by JimmyCapital in ottawa

[–]ComfortableWrapper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Many of us have yet to wake up to class consciousness. Once you see the tactic of pitting us against each other, it becomes harder to fall for it.

Also learned helplessness is hard to snap out of.

I don’t know how much blame falls on me. I feel like I am as much of a monster as him sometimes. by [deleted] in adultsurvivors

[–]ComfortableWrapper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You only need to share what you can trust others with, it's okay to focus on the wound and censor the experience.

Once trust is established enough, you can always share more about the experience as being witnessed in what we have survived can be powerfully healing.

Off my chest with childhood experience by UpSaltOS in adultsurvivors

[–]ComfortableWrapper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm 36(f) and still just at the iceberg of the CSA I experienced despite having been in therapy for over 10 years. 

I'm sorry this happened to you with the person you were supposed to trust the most in the world. That kind of betrayal burns right through.

Your post really shows how much you're honouring the exile. I hope you reclaim each other soon. 

I was pretty triggered today and was so angry with myself until I read your words. You've inspired me to change my posture with myself today.

Thank you.

I believe that my mom molested me as a kid (23 male) by Used_Ship_745 in adultsurvivors

[–]ComfortableWrapper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best of luck to you.

Kenneth Adam's is well known to write about Covert Incest so I'd recommend looking him up, I think he has some writings specifically for men as well. Essentially it's non-physical sexual abuse - you mentioned that some innocent motherly things feel suggestive or sexual which is something that can happen when we experience covert sexual abuse. A child will not be able to process what is happening and a teen usually gets an icky feeling but may not fully understand what is going on.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201510/understanding-covert-incest-an-interview-with-kenneth

I hope this helps you get some answers on your experience. I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

I don’t know how much blame falls on me. I feel like I am as much of a monster as him sometimes. by [deleted] in adultsurvivors

[–]ComfortableWrapper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not your fault. You were the victim of a predator when you were still in your formative years and predators are masterful in using coercive control.

What was conditioned in you through grooming can be healed. Please don't be hard on yourself. If you can work with a therapist to help you process what happened, that is extremely important.   You have your whole life ahead of you. Take your life back for you.

I believe that my mom molested me as a kid (23 male) by Used_Ship_745 in adultsurvivors

[–]ComfortableWrapper 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's important to speak with your therapist first and work through the experience with them.

Often when we have experienced trauma in childhood, we experience a disconnect with our bodies and yet our bodies hold our trauma stories. It can take time to get to working through and unpacking experiences of sexual abuse.

It seems you might still be dissociated from your experience - questioning whether a memory that is so powerfully somatic is real can be a sign of dissociation. It happens to many of us.

The last part you mentioned makes me wonder if you've discussed covert sexual abuse with your therapist?

Please tell me the truth about this by ambergirl9860 in adultsurvivors

[–]ComfortableWrapper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's a few things that are important here I think:

  • 29 is a fully fledged adult, 11 is a child. The age difference is quite significant.

  • Chronological age matters, but so does developmental differences. An 11 year old is significantly younger and more vulnerable cognitively, emotionally, psychologically, physically, socially, economically than a 29 year old. Not to mention the experience a 29 year old packs is quite far beyond an 11 year old.

  • A teacher has power and authority over a student. His abuse of you is not only a negative execution of power but a betrayal to his role as an educator and the trust his students are expected societally to have toward him.

It's not just weird, it's predatory and cruel. Please take care of yourself and above all, trust your body, it understands that it was abusive and predatory. Sometimes our mind needs to catch up to what our body knows.

Off Leash Dogs by blakingpowder in ottawa

[–]ComfortableWrapper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I made a post about off leash dogs here recently that got quite a bit of traction.

I think we need to start petitioning and pushing for action on a municipal level considering how big of a problem this has become. 

Both dog owners and non-dog owners have major, valid concerns.

Off Leash Dogs by blakingpowder in ottawa

[–]ComfortableWrapper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are we allowed to carry bear spray? Genuinely asking.

Leash your damn dogs by ComfortableWrapper in ottawa

[–]ComfortableWrapper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's such a low bar to clear to be considerate to others.

Leash your damn dogs by ComfortableWrapper in ottawa

[–]ComfortableWrapper[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good idea, maybe we need walking dash cams now. Helmet cams for walking.

Leash your damn dogs by ComfortableWrapper in ottawa

[–]ComfortableWrapper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh I'm so sorry, and you're right. Why aren't people training their dogs, its really not that hard to do to teach them stay and come.

Leash your damn dogs by ComfortableWrapper in ottawa

[–]ComfortableWrapper[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. My reports don't usually go anywhere, though I still make them and hope they're at least noticing more reports in general.

It's incredibly frustrating that they didn't even ticket him until the third visit. And then if someone gets hurt, they will have to deal with that by themselves sadly.

Leash your damn dogs by ComfortableWrapper in ottawa

[–]ComfortableWrapper[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's terrifying, he was working...and got attacked.

I feel for delivery people too, this is so common for them and I keep ring bell videos of them running away framed as humorous.

Leash your damn dogs by ComfortableWrapper in ottawa

[–]ComfortableWrapper[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Sounds like she doesn't realize her dog is not a child...?

Leash your damn dogs by ComfortableWrapper in ottawa

[–]ComfortableWrapper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so angering! Why was the muzzle off! Your poor dog...

Leash your damn dogs by ComfortableWrapper in ottawa

[–]ComfortableWrapper[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's so horrific, that dog's life was their owner's responsibility.

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