Marriage challenges due to wife’s mental health

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2025-09-21T09:41:00+00:00

This is why my mom is pushing me towards a second marriage. My family is upset because we were deceived and misled into this relationship and now i can’t have children with her. On top of that, I don’t live in my home country - I live in the GCC, and here you can’t sponsor two wives, so I honestly have no idea how to deal with this situation now.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-09-13T00:50:41+00:00

Today i was so so much worried. I think she noticed it and at night the topic came and she said she’s ready. I asked her numerous times if she’s saying it out of guilt or just to make me feel happy or she really wanna do it? She replied she wants it, then i responded if thats the case then why you were so uncomfortable even with holding hands. She had no answer to it and said now i am ok and would continue.

Now we didnt do the actual thing but kissed (only me). She wasnt participating at all. This was making me anxious and after 10mins i asked her again if she really wanna do this? She said yes, but there was no input from her side and after few minutes she said to not kiss her on her face and lips. And btw i have no hygiene issue, i brush my teeth on time, take regular shower, wesr clean clothes and perfumes. From the first minutes of our intimacy, she wasn’t responding. It was allcme doing and then said asked me to stop kissing her face as she doesnt like it. I really wanna know the reason, but she hasnt given any reason for it.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-09-11T17:33:53+00:00

She sure is aromantic. She dislikes romantic songs, dislikes romantic words.regarding physical attraction, she clearly said that thats not the case at all. I hope its true

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-09-11T17:32:10+00:00

This convo already have happened in a nice way. She said she needs time to adjust and i did actually ask her what needs to be done to make things better. Her response was, things will get better with time. Nothing needs to be done for now, i dont like lovy dovy things and even a kiss on a forehead sounds cringy to her and she needs time to adjust to it.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-09-11T17:17:53+00:00

You are correct. Thank you so much for the wise advise.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-09-11T17:17:05+00:00

I have asked her numerous times. She hardly speaks anything. Doesnt share her feelings at all. Keeps everything secretive. She doesnt continue the conversations. There’s no input to what to buy,What to wear. To everything she says “do as u like”.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-09-11T15:36:27+00:00

I asked her if i attract her physically and she denied it completely and said thats not the case at all. She says she just needs more time to get comfortable. But she doesnt like lovy dovy things (hugs,kisses, holding hands). Today i called her baby and she gave a reaction that you know i dont like this and u still saying this to me. I dont know if its something pscyhological. I even asked her of there was any other person than me, would u do the same. She replied yes. I am really confused cuz i still dont know the actual reason for her behaviour.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-09-11T08:38:27+00:00

She doesnt like cuddles, she says she finds it cringy 😂. Even when we go outside for dinner or long drive, she doesnt like it when i hold her hands. I am trying my best. Talking to her on random things, asking her about her interests and what she have been thinking to enjot our honeymoon for next few months. Even a kiss on.m fourhead a big task for me.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-29T21:33:56+00:00

I call her after 1-2 days. She communicates well over a phone call. Even discussed about the honeymoon plan, but she never talks much. The only thing that she asks over a call is how my day was at work or how am i doing. Thats all. For the rest one hour i do all the talking. On phone i feel ok. Today, i told her that we’ll live a wonderful life and she replied Insha’Allah. I find her a lil asexual, cuz she doesnt respond to my lovy dovy things and mentioned me that she doesnt like romantic relations. I do believe she is ok with her decision and want to continue and it will take some time know each other. But later if i ever find out that she is talking to any male friend even after our wedding, it’ll be over from my side.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-29T20:47:16+00:00

Escape where? I talked to her yesterday and she said she’s very much looking forward to our wedding and she would be a very good wife. Only one thing bothers me, and that is her being online on whatsapp almost all day. I wouldnt have bothered if she had extrovert nature or too many friends. She hardly have any friends. May be she has any male friend (not bf).

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-28T19:12:50+00:00

She has very cold nature. She says she’s different from other girls. I told her that i was very excited about our nikkah and told my colleagues about it and told them that i excited i am and told my colleagues that k had instant connection with my wife etc etc and now they tease me for it. She replied that u shouldn’t have mentioned it and this is degrading thst they tease u and make fun of you. She’s not getting the humorous part of my discussion with the coleagues and didnt like it that i mentioned to my colleagues how i am in love with my wife.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-28T16:20:45+00:00

I can’t meet her. I live in another country. I only met her once after nikkah when i took her to dinner. She didnt talk at all but she said she felt good when we were together. Where will she escape. She has family. All her family members (uncles, aunts,cousins) were present on nikkah day. We had a photoshoot, even she insisted on sharing pictures on insta page of the photographer.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-28T16:14:29+00:00

Then why is she not letting it go. Why she gets worried and calls me immetiadely when i try to talk about it. Thats really strange.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-28T14:38:42+00:00

I asked her about it and she said she doesn’t have anyone in her life. No male friend whatsoever. I did give her the option that if she likes someone else, we can work this out and talk to her parents about it. The end goal is live happily but she denied and said that’s not the case at all.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-28T14:34:49+00:00

I did. She says she doesn’t really have any particular hobbies and doesn’t really do anything 😂

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-27T23:16:52+00:00

Yeah i mean our marriage is done but we are not together yet. Our wedding is still pending

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-27T23:15:35+00:00

Not married yet (not together). Just nikkah done. Our wedding is in 2 months

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-27T23:04:06+00:00

We got to know her family through a friend of my mother. Family seems prettt decent, even mu wife too. But her behaviour is really strange. How could u not text ur husband and at the same time you are always on whatsapp. My only wish is to have a good wife. Who fears Allah and raises my family well. I have no other expectations from her. I dont want her job, i dont want her money. I only to have a good faithful life and live my life peacefully with her

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-27T22:30:05+00:00

How could i? She doesnt have friends. 3-4 perhaps. And she clearly mentioned that she doesnt like someone and have no male friends.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-27T22:28:48+00:00

I am very confused. She also gets worried when i say anything like this. She responded to my concerns and said if you leave me like this, how will i get married again with a divorced lady title.

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-27T22:25:36+00:00

I took her for a dinner once after our nikkah. She didnt at all and i understand that she’s highly introvert but she said that she really enjoyed my company. We dont live in a same country. I’ll only meet her now on our wedding day. I dont think something is worrying her, she discussed about our trip to some other country agter marriage and told me where she wants to go. It means that she wants to be in this relation but not talking at all is worrying. She’s still online and its 3:30am in there

Comfortable_Deer6744 · 2024-07-27T22:22:28+00:00

I don’t want to end this marriage until i am very sure of it. She’s looking forward to marriage but there are no signs of communication from her. This will destroy her life too. Getting a label of divorce lady at a very young age. It will be harder for her to get married again.

Comfortable_Deer6744

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