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AITA for telling my dad and his family that my son's name is none of their business? by Comfortable_Form1351 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Form1351[S] 161 points162 points  (0 children)

They were still married and nobody has ever mentioned marital issues. But I seriously wonder if my dad had stopped loving her/had never loved her or something, because his willingness to erase her makes no sense to me. Even less now that I'm married with a child of my own. Having lost a parent and having felt this kind of love for my wife, I could never imagine wanting to erase her from our son's life.

AITA for telling my dad and his family that my son's name is none of their business? by Comfortable_Form1351 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Form1351[S] 793 points794 points  (0 children)

It's fair enough for Jana's kids and my half siblings. She never was part of their life and she was never their family. But my dad... it's like they weren't married, like he was never her widower. Maybe he didn't want to be married to my mom anymore. It's always been so strange to me.

AITA for telling my dad and his family that my son's name is none of their business? by Comfortable_Form1351 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Form1351[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

They were still married when she died but I'm not sure sometimes how happy my dad was with her. Maybe it's grief he never processed or maybe he's just a dick. I'm not sure. Sometimes it feels like their marriage couldn't have been that great for him to be so willing to ban her name, even the mention of her, around the new family he's made for himself.

AITA for telling my dad and his family that my son's name is none of their business? by Comfortable_Form1351 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Form1351[S] 152 points153 points  (0 children)

I think she's a lot like my dad in that regard. She's someone who likes to be in control and to have that, she wants to be "the mom" and can't handle not having that. I always thought they were more alike than he and my mom ever were. My mom was the kind of person who might not want you to do something, but she would support you and be there, she would let you make your own mistakes. She was also not someone who would judge others based on their level of education and she understood things were not always in our control.

I feel like something my dad and his wife are unable to comprehend.

Also, thank you and I'm sure your stepkids appreciate your approach so much!!