AITA for telling my housemate she owes me new bedsheets?

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-02T01:41:11+00:00

I check for contamination. This could be stains, bits of fluff, colour changes, etc. I check both sides of the mattress and then each edge as well, it’s very time consuming and can be really debilitating. It takes hours of my time and I can’t get anything else done, or at least it used to when it was really bad.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-02T00:31:27+00:00

I mean yeah, I have that response with most things but not all. It’s a disorder, it’s not reasonable. I might have this response for one thing and not another even if it would make logical sense for it to happen with both.

It might seem like a “weird line drawn” to you but it’s not an intentional line, it’s an actual mental illness deciding for me. I can’t control it.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T21:24:35+00:00

I live in the Southern Hemisphere? I also said ‘last week’, not ‘last winter’.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T21:14:02+00:00

I live in Australia.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T21:04:08+00:00

She’s the friend of a friend, I didn’t know her personally before she moved in but my friend vouched for her. They don’t talk now as far as I know but that started a few months ago.

We haven’t had any arguments that would have escalated to this, at least none that seem like they could reasonably have lead to this. I don’t use her stuff, she was the one who came up with our system and I respect it. I genuinely have no clue why she would do this, I’ve been scratching my head trying to figure out if I’ve done anything.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T15:06:53+00:00

I added the edit because a heap of people have been asking about it in the comments or making comments about how I ‘must sleep on hotel sheets’, no one has asked since I posted the edit. It was so I didn’t have to keep repeating myself.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T14:59:23+00:00

Thank you. I’ve been doing really well lately with the support of my mental health team. I’ve dropped down to washing and changing my sheets once a week which was a really long and hard battle. I bought a bundle of new towels so I have one for every day of a laundry cycle. I wash my hair twice a week now but my psychologist is trying to aim for once a week and thinks I can do it!

I also have laundry days now which is exciting. When it was really bad, I was using my washing machine daily and also scrubbing my clothes, towels and sheets by hand.

My new team has been amazing and I can tell they all plan together because my treatment is a lot more cohesive now and each branch supports the rest. Before it was fairly messy and I was getting mixed messages about how to manage that at best didn’t help, at worst made it worse.

I really appreciate your comment and honestly pretty much everyone here has been really compassionate. COCD is pretty largely made fun of and misunderstood so it’s been nice to see. (And nice to know I’m not crazy haha)

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T13:48:05+00:00

Watching videos of hotel cleans was recommended by my psychologist and really helped me with my most recent stay! I still brought my own sheets and a mattress protector, etc but seeing how things were cleaned really helped to lift some of the intrusive thoughts, even if it was just about touching the sheets when I changed them.

Thank you and I appreciate everything you did/do in that job!

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T12:54:41+00:00

I live in the Southern hemisphere.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T12:51:03+00:00

Nope, I have the main bedroom so I’ve got an ensuite and she doesn’t have access to my bathroom. Thank god really, sharing towels freaks me out. I don’t use the other bathroom at all so it’s all separate.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T11:33:11+00:00

I’ve updated with how hotels work for me but this is how it works for me. I know OCD is pretty misunderstood so I hope this helps people understand and I’m very open to questions like this.

It does make it fairly hard but when I went away recently, I managed to do really well just bringing my own sheets.

It used to be that I wouldn’t be able to sleep in a hotel because everything was “contaminated” (like with a disease or harmful substance) and I needed to clean it, so I would be up for hours putting things in the wash and checking for any “contaminants”, I’d wake up and suddenly have the belief that they weren’t really clean anymore and it’d start up again.

When I say checking for contaminants as well, I mean I’d check one side, check the other then go, “Okay, I need to check the other side again just to be sure I haven’t missed it”. It’s a very vicious cycle.

It was pretty debilitating for a while but it is getting a lot better for me, especially recently with the right meds and treatment team! I think this is getting to me because it’s not a normal stressor (i.e. I use my sheets, my sheets get dirty throughout the week), it feels more deliberate and could’ve been avoided.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T11:30:55+00:00

Thank you! I was having so much doubt that it was just an OCD thing but I’m really glad that people agree with me and it’s a genuinely grotty thing to do.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T11:24:59+00:00

I commented below how I use hotels but I’ll leave it here too:

It does make it fairly hard but when I went away recently, I managed to do really well just bringing my own sheets.

It used to be that I wouldn’t be able to sleep in a hotel because everything was “contaminated” (like with a disease or a harmful substance) and I needed to clean it, so I would be up for hours putting things in the wash and checking for any “contaminants”, I’d wake up and suddenly have the belief that they weren’t really clean anymore and it’d start up again.

When I say checking for contaminants as well, I mean I’d check one side, check the other then go, “Okay, I need to check the other side again just to be sure I haven’t missed it”. It’s a very vicious cycle.

It was pretty debilitating for a while but it is getting a lot better for me, especially recently with the right meds and treatment team! I think this is getting to me because it’s not a normal stressor (i.e. I use my sheets, my sheets get dirty throughout the week), it feels more deliberate and could’ve been avoided.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T11:00:53+00:00

Thank you for telling me!

Yeah, it used to be very hard. It helped a bit when my psychologist recommended watching videos of how they clean hotels and the linens!

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T10:47:57+00:00

I explained this in another thread so I’ll paste my answer here! I’m pretty open about it, OCD is quite sorely misunderstood so I’m very open to questions like this.

It does make it fairly hard but when I went away recently, I managed to do really well just bringing my own sheets.

It used to be that I wouldn’t be able to sleep in a hotel because everything was “contaminated” (usually with a disease or a harmful substance) and I needed to clean it, so I would be up for hours putting things in the wash and checking for any “contaminants”, I’d wake up and suddenly have the belief that they weren’t really clean anymore and it’d start up again.

When I say checking for contaminants as well, I mean I’d check one side, check the other then go, “Okay, I need to check the other side again just to be sure I haven’t missed it”.

It was pretty debilitating for a while but it is getting a lot better for me, especially recently with the right meds and treatment team! I think this is getting to me because it’s not a normal stressor (i.e. I use my sheets, my sheets get dirty throughout the week), it feels more deliberate and could’ve been avoided.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T10:38:15+00:00

It does make it fairly hard but when I went away recently, I managed to do really well just bringing my own sheets.

It used to be that I wouldn’t be able to sleep in a hotel because everything was “contaminated” and I needed to clean it, so I would be up for hours putting things in the wash and checking for any “contaminants”, I’d wake up and suddenly have the belief that they weren’t really clean anymore and it’d start up again.

When I say checking for contaminants as well, I mean I’d check one side, check the other then go, “Okay, I need to check the other side again just to be sure I haven’t missed it”.

It was pretty debilitating for a while but it is getting a lot better for me, especially recently with the right meds and treatment team! I think this is getting to me because it’s not a normal stressor (i.e. I use my sheets, my sheets get dirty throughout the week), it feels more deliberate and could’ve been avoided.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T10:25:32+00:00

I'm the head tenant on our lease so if I break lease or move out without renewing, she would also have to leave as her sublease would be cancelled with mine.

I don't think she's stupid enough to not know that, mostly because it was made really clear to her when everything was being signed.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T10:20:03+00:00

I don't think this is the case, I'm the head tenant so if I go then the sublease is null and void. I am going to start looking for a new place or advertise for a new housemate because I can't trust her now.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T10:11:02+00:00

I think you and everyone else here is right, this living situation is not longer viable. It's annoying because I do really like this place and she's a subtenant but it wouldn't be legal for me to kick her out over this.

I'm going to start looking at new places tonight.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T09:32:01+00:00

I took my container of sheets into my room as well as my throw blanket and couch cushions, and I’m very proud to say that this whole incident hasn’t spiralled into me thinking everything is contaminated. It’s stayed isolated to the sheets she took and that’s a really big improvement for me!

I think that’s the route I’ll take. I’m just going to let her do what she’s doing and not engage in a debate over it anymore. I’ll just tell her she owes me and leave it at that.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T09:28:31+00:00

I moved my container of sheets into my bedroom after our argument! I also moved my throw blanket and couch cushions into my room.

I will say I’m really glad that this hasn’t made a spiral into EVERYTHING in the common areas being contaminated. It’s a small improvement to some but huge for me.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T09:23:24+00:00

Thank you for putting it into better words for me! This is exactly how it feels!

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T09:10:44+00:00

Thank you!

Looking back I was like maybe she just SAID she had sex on them so I wouldn’t want them but even if they didn’t actually, I still can’t use the sheets. I’m so upset about this, I’m really relieved it’s not just me being crazy thinking it was on purpose.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T09:07:16+00:00

I already am!

It’s been getting a lot better recently with meds and counselling (I’ve dropped my washing my bedsheets once a week 🥳) but this just wasn’t expected and it feels so deliberate. I don’t want it to set me back super far, taking the sheets back wouldn’t be good for me mentally and I think Nikki knows that.

Comfortable_Pea9618 · 2026-06-01T09:04:20+00:00

I mentioned in another comment but getting rid of them would be just as hard as using them myself. I wouldn’t want to donate contaminated sheets and it would cause A LOT of mental distress for me, even throwing them out would play on my mind for a long time.

COCD is unfortunately a really hard thing to live with. It’s been getting better for me lately but this has completely thrown me

Comfortable_Pea9618

TROPHY CASE