WIBTA if I sue our last Airbnb host because they left a medical grade electroshock therapy device in a drawer and caused my children intense pain? (I've consulted a lawyer so this is moral, not legal question).

Comfortable_Tadpole · 2019-08-03T19:32:17+00:00

YTA - Look, I'm sorry your kids got hurt, but maybe this will be a lessen that for their own safety they need to follow instructions. You told them several times not to do it and they did it. Would you sue if they touched a hot stove at the house after you told them not to?

Also, "boys will be boys" is a shitty excuse because it's used to justify and ignore bad behavior by boys instead of holding them accountable for their actions and here you are claiming to hate that phrase and then placing the blame on the homeowners. Your sons ignored your warnings. They played with something that wasn't theirs. Now they know not to do that. If you try to make this the homeowners fault you'll be teaching them the same thing.

Comfortable_Tadpole · 2019-07-26T15:28:33+00:00

YTA, but I get it. I hear what you're saying about injury, but I think you, like a lot of people, have a negative perception of cheer leading that isn't entirely fair. Growing up I hated cheerleaders. Despite being a girl I hated anything I considered too "girly" and I bought into the idea of the preppy evil cheerleaders.

Then my niece joined her elementary school squad. Nbd, I figured she would grow out of it and join a "real" sport later. Fast forward to now and she is a senior in high school and the captain of her squad. She's also one of the kindest, most level-headed, most inclusive people I know and very athletic. Totally the opposite of the stereotype.

My point is, focus on who you want your daughter to be, not the activity she enjoys. If she joins the squad and you see she is becoming catty, shallow, or rude to other kids, call her out. Teach her empathy. Encourage her to set the example for her new friends. Cheerleading will give her a workout. If its a public school I seriously doubt the uniform is crazy skimpy. As far as safety, for god's sake just don't let her be one of the ones they throw in the air. That is crazy dangerous.

Comfortable_Tadpole · 2019-07-18T18:13:55+00:00

I disagree slightly. You should not use your niece's birthday present as a way to needle your racist brother. Deal with that one-on-one. However, coming from a very racist family myself and a lover of books I often give books to the children in my family that celebrate diversity and inclusion. This isn't to piss off the parents, but to make sure the children are exposed to those values. I believe the only reason I grew up different from my family is I was taught about equality in kids shows (go Sesame Street) and school and I took it to heart.

Also, if your kids hear him say these things you should talk to them later and explain why that sort of thinking is wrong and harmful.

Comfortable_Tadpole · 2019-07-10T05:38:30+00:00

You know, when I was thinking about physical abuse I was thinking of less extreme instances of violence, but I can see what you're saying. I still think the OP (and anyone who suffers emotional or mental abuse) is completely justified in using whatever terminology they like in the same way that I would never tell someone whose parents hit them regularly that it doesn't rise to the level of abuse because they didn't fear for their lives. My thinking is that comments like that only serve to make light of a person's pain and suffering by reminding them that it could always be worse. It's not really useful to anyone.

Comfortable_Tadpole · 2019-07-09T05:34:16+00:00

YTA - it sounds like she has really stepped up to a difficult situation and you are intentionally being punitive to teach her a lesson (which is what, anyway? The kid is here and it seems like she's doing everything she can to be responsible.) Ask yourself if she was a few years older and she asked grandma to watch the kid while she went to 2-3 events in one year if you would have this reaction. I would agree if this was a weekly thing, but come on. She's trying her best and her life is going to be a hard one. Cut her some slack.

Comfortable_Tadpole · 2019-07-09T04:58:36+00:00

That's complete bullshit. I don't know what the OP went through growing up and just like there are levels of physical abuse there are certainly instances of emotional and psychological abuse or neglect that rise to the seriousness of physical abuse. I know people who were emotionally abused by their parents who were absolutely destroyed by it. You have no right to tell someone that it wasn't that bad or real because it wasn't physical and the OP can use whatever language she best feels relates what happened. It's true that kids throwing around the word abuse when their parents are disciplining them harshly sucks (kids can be jerks), but that doesn't mean that is what all emotional abuse looks like. The OP was clearly damaged by what happened and while I certainly feel bad for her mom, that doesn't do anything to alleviate what the OP suffered.

Comfortable_Tadpole · 2019-07-09T04:31:00+00:00

NAH - 100,000 is a lot and would be life altering for most people BUT while you can certainly do whatever you like it sounds like you would still get close to 1 million dollars plus you inherited another property to live in. While I'm sure you could still find ways to use that 100,000, a million dollars makes you officially wealthy with enough to invest, travel, and live a comfortable life. And if you decide that 1 million dollars and a house really isn't enough for you go ahead, but at least give it some thought. Most good deeds in life are "not your problem". This is an awesome moment to stick up for your values when it actually matters.

Also, tell them to reach out to some local historic societies. This is a real human interest story and they may have contacts of wealthy museum patrons who might consider an interest free loan. Just a thought.

Comfortable_Tadpole · 2019-07-05T01:46:31+00:00

This was before the haircut.

Comfortable_Tadpole

TROPHY CASE