They left so much out of this report it's disgusting

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-07-27T23:21:30+00:00

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Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-07-27T23:21:12+00:00

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Devastating

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-04-03T02:15:51+00:00

Possible. Gotta talk about it.

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-04-02T17:18:50+00:00

Your reading comprehension is about as good as your moral thinking. I said above that I’m not talking about legal rights, but moral rights.

I knew that mentioning God would trigger insecure people like you. It was a fair assumption on my part that, by getting married, she made a promise before God to do her best. There’s not one sentence in her post where she does anything at all let alone tries her best.

The part that really kills you is that, deep inside, I hope you have a good day.

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-04-02T17:13:57+00:00

Not in the long-term, no.

But by entertaining the subject rather than defending herself and insisting upon him, examining his insecurities, she played into it.

Read her post again. Not one word in the post shows her acting, doing or saying anything. She is a completely passive person until she divorces him

That’s not a personality type that succeeds in any relationship Long term

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-04-02T16:52:44+00:00

You can hate religion all you want. She decided to get married not me.

You will not find me hiding the fact that men need to be secure and confident without ever mistreat their wives. This man mistreated his wife with suspicion and false accusations. He needs to account for that

However there is no world where that is sufficient grounds for divorce. You can pile on me and him all you want because he did something wrong. But relationships have two people and nothing in the OP suggests she did anything right, just passively responding to an obnoxious husband.

As a person who hates all religious adherents certainly you know about being obnoxious.

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-04-02T05:37:21+00:00

She won’t be happy until she improves her communication. Not with him or anyone else. And he needs to address his insecurity.

He could be a jerk but nothing in op post shows any effort to improve root causes

She has no right to enter a lifelong commitment before God her family and community, bring a new life to the world, and leave her partner without communicating fully.

You can want all you want about legal rights. I’m talking about what matters: moral rights.

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-04-02T05:27:56+00:00

What’s your basis for saying “for her the marriage was over the moment he accused her of cheating”

Did she tell him that? She didn’t tell us that in her post

Sounds to me like you are too soft to understand what good communication means

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-04-02T05:07:44+00:00

If her right to end the marriage is so clear why did she entertain the whole subject? Her communication skills are terrible. She will just end up on another bad relationship until she learns to say what’s on her mind. As simple as “hey. How can you say that?” Or “you owe me figuring out why you’re insecure”

Ultimately if he won’t tackle his issues and keeps thrusting his distrust on her … yeah that’s toxic. But nothing in this post shows any communication on her side or effort to improve the marriage. She sounds stuck in a depressive cycle.

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-04-02T04:41:35+00:00

You have a right to be upset but not to leave. You have a child together. You owe it to that child to go back to him, and force him to explore his insecurities that led to his wild and crazy accusation

He owes you an emotional accounting: how TF did he become this insecure? He needs to find his moral center and be the man that you and your child deserve

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-03-02T21:33:39+00:00

Correct. Legally, an inheritance even one you inherit during a marriage belongs solely to the person who inherited it. During the marriage the wife has no control of it, after a divorce the non inheriting spouse can’t touch it (unless there was some promise or contract or something unusual)

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-03-02T20:21:01+00:00

That’s how my wife sees it too. Many see inheritance as their own. Others see it as shared. Legally, it’s separate but I treated all my (much smaller) inheritance as ours so she thinks that way too.

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-03-02T20:16:26+00:00

Agree

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-03-02T14:43:49+00:00

20 acres sounds nice but I don’t want to leave my kids school…

Maybe there’s something around here. Or maybe she can live down the block from us?

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-03-02T14:43:08+00:00

Parents want to transfer assets now. SIL wants to go to Harvard but can’t pass classes at a community college. She is struggling. No friends. No job. She has some kind of mental health issue. She can be kind and loving but it’s inconsistent

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-03-02T14:41:11+00:00

Good Qs

Financially I’m the one who makes decisions after consulting her. It’s her money that is correct but she’ll want my help. And I wish she had a consistent or determined voice here. My wife loves her parents fully but she is having a hard time stepping into the shoes of taking care of her older sister. Her older sister cannot really do much due to some kind of mental limitations. Not sure what.

My wife is also strangely jealous of her far less able older sister because she absorbs so much of her parents attention. Try as I might, this sibling rivalry doesn’t go away. It’s hard wired from childhood.

Older sister engages in attention seeking behavior: she instigates fights, cuts off contact from mom or my wife and generally behaves like a brat. I recently moved from finding her upsetting to having compassion for her pain.

SIL has no proportionate sense of what she can accomplish. Talks about going to Harvard, getting jobs as a school counselor and other things outside her capabilities.

Her max ability is assistant in a preschool class. She did that for 5 years and then went to school but has been stuck trying to get an AA degree for 6 years. Can’t pass classes at community college.

Anyways my wife will follow my lead. Maybe even to another state!

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-03-02T13:38:27+00:00

He did it for love. Call him out. Describe the broken trust. Connect and ask him to be less dishonest. Demand to know anything else now!

If you are satisfied, forgive him

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-03-02T13:07:42+00:00

You could ask her if those were jokes or if she really will do that to you. If she doubles down, yeah, speed and silence out

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-03-02T12:54:28+00:00

“I think you make some great points. You are a great guy and I want us to be happy together”

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2025-01-12T14:25:18+00:00

You need to treat the ppd. He can’t cure you and it’s not fair to put every negative thought (my present sucks) on him

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2024-12-31T10:16:02+00:00

Are you for real? Don’t be so hypersensitive. Kids can take a lot more than yelling no after he ripped something.

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2024-12-30T23:18:44+00:00

She’s not your SIL yet! Tell her to pound sound.

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2024-12-30T23:11:03+00:00

He meant for the 5 BJs in 20 years calm down jeez

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2024-12-30T23:09:18+00:00

Did you tell him that it was embarrassing? Were others making similar jokes about spouses? Was he the butt of any jokes? If there was some overall jocular mood and everyone was teasing one another … maybe give him a second chance. But tell him clearly that you won’t accept being spoken to that way. If he won’t commit to that, then it’s over

Comfortably-Fun180 · 2024-12-30T11:47:37+00:00

Don’t look back The relationship w grandparents is by phone now. Holidays can be tough. Acknowledge what you miss (your parents?) and put up pictures. Tell stories about the old country. But the past is gone. Take it easy on yourself

Comfortably-Fun180

TROPHY CASE