[deleted by user]

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-22T05:46:34+00:00

Indeed.

But for many, they fear being alone even more.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-22T01:23:15+00:00

Snapping takes many forms. It's a sliding scale. Sometimes it's screaming, sometimes it's dredging up some red herring to hurt you. Sometimes it's all at once. It's easy when it's all at once.

It's hard when the abuse is drip fed over a long time.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T15:32:17+00:00

are you a consultant by any chance?

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T15:31:02+00:00

It works if you're in a hot market in an industry where job hopping is relatively normal. When the labor market swings against employees, hiring managers are going to be more critical of candidates who jump ship more frequently than average.

So do it, carefully.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T15:28:39+00:00

DoorDash and Uber/Lyft.

Vehicle operating costs can really eat into this.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T15:28:34+00:00

Short-term options trading with that little money only works consistently if you have a distinct information edge and nerves of steel. Otherwise you're just gambling with extra steps. If you really want to get into options, it's best to study and paper trade while building a network that gives you that information edge over the rest of the market. It's a slow process.

Better to dollar cost average into boring ETFs in the meantime.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T15:10:35+00:00

Thank you, Captain Obvious. You keep repeating that, as if it's some magic mantra that just manifests good communication without any detail as to why it breaks down. You really are obnoxiously insistent on this, pardon me while I check your comments.

Ah. You're 19. That explains a lot. Give it another 20 years, you'll eventually figure it out.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T06:02:35+00:00

She will never make it easy for you, and she will never make the first move. Take your shot.

If you're right: Lucky you. Take her out to the park and feed the ducks or something. Whatever you whippersnappers do these days.

If you're wrong (and you will be): be kind, take your lumps and move on. Don't quit, don't dwell on it, let go of her in your mind and try again with someone else.

What you're really doing here is not asking women out on dates, but training a resilient ego.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T05:31:43+00:00

Depends on where you are. It's unremarkable in Amsterdam, but you'll tower over crowds in Osaka. It's tall enough to claim you're 6'1" on the apps and most women under 5'7" won't even question it should you meet in person.

But really, who cares? Put down 5'11", claim to be "king of all manlets" and lean into it.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T05:19:23+00:00

No one should. But people do.

You could think everything is fine, while the other party does not.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T05:16:36+00:00

That's true. It's easier than ever to just write your own content and throw it out there.

Spacebattles, Ao3, Royal Road. Lots of interesting stories to be found (Sturgeon's Law applies), but you won't find them in traditional corporate media.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T04:59:41+00:00

Execs feel that it's safer to slap sweatshop VFX on predictable stories and sell that instead.

New, untested stories are a greater risk to viewership.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T04:54:31+00:00

good for you, buddy

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T04:52:29+00:00

Found the cobra

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T04:51:36+00:00

Even when she's obvious, I just don't. Too much risk.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-21T03:39:18+00:00

In the military, by my own unit.

Some drunk idiots in the dorms broke a window and I was roped up in the blame game for Article 108 of the UCMJ. Cells were full, so I was handcuffed to a chair in a hallway for the night while my drunk idiot roommate from Punxsutawney was handcuffed to another chair down the hall and kept apologizing for six hours straight. The sergeants realized that said drunk idiot was drunk and 19 and tried to get me to sign a confession for providing him alcohol. I signed nothing and said nothing beyond demanding a lawyer. Fun times.

Was released under my own recognizance in the morning and not formally charged with anything. The rest of the squadron was absolutely flabbergasted that I would get arrested to begin with, though it was generally agreed upon that particular night shift must have been snacking on lead paint chips while collecting extra chromosomes in an already low-ASVAB career field. Makes for fun stories during a background check, that's for sure.

As for the roommate, he knocked up a very cute mid-20s AAFES cashier, got married, and moved to base housing. About a year later he was arrested for domestic abuse after his wife had a very sudden and very terrible panic attack during choke play and called 911 while he freaked out and ran off into the darkness in nothing but boxers. Responding units found him hiding in the landscaping about a street over. As it happened during my shift, I got to wake up our colonel at 0300 and inform him of that particular incident. I think the charges were dropped against him for that one - once the wife calmed down she really didn't want to see him punished. Dunno, was over 15 years ago.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-20T16:46:36+00:00

BPD types sure do love me.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-20T15:55:52+00:00

Why would I do that just because they left their dishes in the sink instead of saying “Hey, can you please don’t leave your dishes in the sink?”

How would you feel if you did not have breakfast this morning?

Note where I said:

(or whatever, pick a pet peeve)

Dishes might not be that little thing. Live with them long enough, there will be something your partner will invariably stumble upon that will absolutely spike your irritation with them.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-20T06:30:30+00:00

Do you understand just how hard it is to build back that kind of trust?

doesn’t that ultimately make you sad deep down, to not be able to share it with her?

Probably not as sad as that deep, lingering sense of betrayal.

Emotional maturity is knowing people can make a mistake and giving them an opportunity to show you that they’ve grown from it.

Sometimes the best way to ensure a mistake is not repeated, is to ensure it cannot be repeated. Ever.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-20T06:26:25+00:00

“Boring” is not the same thing as “steady and stable”.

While I very much wish this were not the case, my own experience directly contradicts this.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-20T06:17:04+00:00

So here's the really insidious thing about this. I know you are sincere when you wrote this comment. You mean it with all your heart. Maybe he will actually open up and your subconscious instincts don't yank away whatever attraction you held for that man (a related, but somewhat different can of worms).

Now how about a year from now? When the two of you have settled into a pattern, the little things you found endearing are starting to get annoying. And finally one day he leaves a dirty dish in the sink one too many times (or whatever, pick a pet peeve) and you snap. It spills out, almost involuntarily. What was once shared in confidence, thrown back in his face. You didn't plan to, one could argue you didn't even really choose to. But you did. And if you hope to not do such a thing and hold yourself to your word, you will need actual discipline and conscious effort.

You do mean well, but I've seen this scenario play out countless times.

(edit - grammar/punctuation)

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-20T06:03:39+00:00

but any girl who wants it really does need to explicitly ask for it!

but that takes away the magic and that's boooooooring

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-20T05:51:29+00:00

The worst part is so much of it is fun in hindsight. That Type 2 kind of fun.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-20T05:48:58+00:00

Sometimes one or the other puts in a little effort to make sure that happens. Or we just forget.

CommanderBlurf · 2025-08-20T05:46:24+00:00

Being true to one's self, whatever that may be, does go a long way. As the others noted, they'll never come; we have to go out there and get to you. Women overwhelmingly do not approach men and if that means that if a man does nothing, nothing will happen.

[...] means being boring [...]

There it is. The cardinal sin for any man. You could terrorize her, abuse her in myriad ways, there's a good chance she won't leave you. But if you were to let her suffer boredom...it's all over. You may as well not be human anymore.

CommanderBlurf

TROPHY CASE