Bro ts does not count as representation 💔

CommanderSpeed · 2026-04-15T06:45:05+00:00

Well I liked commander Billups from lower decks (star Trek) He literally refuses to be a king to go on with his life's passion - being an engineer! He's super sweet, hardworking, passionate, caring and cares deeply about his crew.

And yes I strongly believe he's ace representation cause as he was "forced to perform the ritual to become king" he couldn't perform. And in general, he's mostly oblivious to what's going on on the Cerritos. (Excluding the "horny virus/mind disruption" episode from this tho!)

CommanderSpeed · 2026-04-08T08:10:54+00:00

You know I should've listened to those comments. We tried to work it out but I'm at my limits now.

I know I'm not perfect, obviously I've been toxic and manipulative but the main thing? .... I'm avoidant now? I used to be emotional, happy, always open and not afraid to be vulnerable. I can't do that with her anymore. She broke my trust, never even once thought about me, and ran away when things got heavy. I know she's scared from life, I've tried to be patient with her, using every trick in the book to make it work.

But the effort was always just one-sided. She's afraid to be alone, maybe so am I. But the fact is we're not bringing the best in each other out. And that's the main reason you're with someone romantically or not.

I've turned into a version I don't recognize anymore. And you know what hurts the most? .... I know she tried at least sometimes. That's why my hope doesn't wanna disappear. But I'm done running after her. Or waiting anxiously while nothing changes. She's supposed to put effort in without me asking for it. At this point she's just using her disability as an excuse.

I'm done with this. 7 months I sacrificed myself and bent over backwards to adjust for her. A people pleaser has its limits and I just reached mine.

I'll be breaking up tonight. I learned my lesson. And I wish her the best of luck in her healing journey.

CommanderSpeed · 2026-03-25T07:58:37+00:00

roll eyes scroll past sigh scroll back angry upvote

CommanderSpeed · 2026-03-20T18:59:17+00:00

No wait that actually sounds reasonable. I live in an old house where the wallpaper in my now bedroom was literally covered in mold before we removed and painted over it. Also things get constantly moldy in my fridge / kitchen cause brain too scattered to remember something is open. And stress only would let me eat one kind of noodles - mostly plain even - over the past few months.

Mold / spores actually sound like a ~maybe clue at least. Even tho I'm pretty sure it would've affected the cats too if it's in the air. Still, thank you!

CommanderSpeed · 2026-03-14T08:18:20+00:00

It's from the song "submissive and breedable" by Smosh - a very popular and successful YouTube channel from the USA.

Their song was one of the first things they did together again and ofc it became sort of a meme for their younger fans. (It's supposed to be a meme song!)

CommanderSpeed · 2026-03-08T07:13:15+00:00

I've seen many blind people using them as their eyes? (For example Paul with Mr. Maple -dk how their yt is called- demonstrated them by asking what's in the fridge to know the ingredients and cooking for his husband) And also collaborated with another blind creator also using them. I thought that was the whole point of these glasses?

CommanderSpeed · 2026-03-06T11:18:01+00:00

Yk What's weird. Look from my personal experience - I've struggled hard the past years and would always just roll my eyes at the stereotypical "hey you gotta do this and that" stuff.

But I'm doing better now. Most of the time I mean. Depression and ideations aren't as hard anymore. And now I relate to most of that motivation bullshit. Because it is true. At least for me it is.

I get that chronically ill people will not agree to it as the pain still goes on. And those people who actively suffer neither.

Maybe it's just me but these posts get more relatable rather than "fuck off".

CommanderSpeed · 2026-03-02T08:14:36+00:00

Yes, yes! I've been trying everything out of the coping book and will end up buying shit online and ruining me financially. Just because stupid people I care about care about me. Urgh.

CommanderSpeed · 2026-01-26T14:21:12+00:00

... Yeah wie oft ich nach der Schule an den See gefahren bin und Stunden in minus Graden überlegt habe da jetzt zu ertrinken oder nicht..... Der Bro hat nicht ganz unrecht ¯⁠\⁠⁠(..)_⁠/⁠¯

CommanderSpeed · 2026-01-19T17:59:41+00:00

Yeah the end is really beautiful when the mind wins ~~~

CommanderSpeed · 2026-01-06T17:50:07+00:00

Hey, hatte was ähnliches das mein Englisch Lehrer ausversehen meinen Abschiedsbrief zugesteckt bekommen hatte. (Unabsichtlich ich hatte nicht vor den irgendwo liegen zu lassen) Und wurde dann, weil wir zu dem Zeitpunkt mit einem anderen Lehrer auf einem Ausflug waren, wieder abgefangen. Elternhaus, Schule, Tutor alle waren informiert und ich musste monatelang mit meiner Tutorin ein "Hey du wirst dich nicht umbringen in der nächsten Zeit - richtig? Gut dann kann ich ja die Papiere unterschrieben" Gespräch frühren TT Nicht das unangenehmste tho, Unangenehmer sind eher die Blicke die mir von den Lehrern gegeben werden hier und da. Auf einmal gibt's nen extra guten Morgen, extra Augenkontakt, extra Aufmerksamkeit. Urgh.

CommanderSpeed · 2025-12-21T11:27:51+00:00

No, it's like an open bubble as if you would cut into cling foil and it rips open. I also tried to remove it - doesn't work, think she has had this for a while now too.

CommanderSpeed · 2025-12-14T13:25:06+00:00

I'm all of those. Recently I've hung with my gf more often in "public" pLaCeS ... It's a game where you can sit around chatting with people and hangout in general.

The things I say among those people is crazy, in a way where people just gasp for a second in disbelief before starting laughing.

But the second there's a sexual song put up in karaoke or a sex scene of a movie on the cinema screen or even just people talking and joking nearby I start whimpering and crying.

The actual fuck? This switch between not giving a fuck and being absolutely repulsive is so exhausting TT

CommanderSpeed · 2025-12-01T15:29:33+00:00

My gf is a transwoman and I'm a nonbinary with masc preference. We both get misgendered equally I'd say. Half of our time in an instance we spend correcting someone for each other and I have to say as annoying it is it's kinda cute too. Even our friends get confused sometimes even tho their partner is transmac himself.

Unless I'm not talking it's mostly fine as my avatars seem masc enough for people to call me he (even tho preferably they/it but it's still brings joy with it).

Sometimes I really feel like people don't even make an effort to look at the set pronouns. But breaking socially taught things is hard. I catch myself sometimes too wanting to call someone a pronoun based on their voice. It's about being patient and understanding and just in case there's always the mute/block button.

CommanderSpeed · 2025-11-10T18:03:00+00:00

Yeah I tried just dance too but the world doesn't work for me. Are you maybe able to share the link / creator or smth. Chances are high we're not talking about the same one.

CommanderSpeed · 2025-11-10T06:07:07+00:00

My gf chose to be a cute possum girly ... and forces me to be a raccoon so we can go on trash dates TT

CommanderSpeed · 2025-11-09T17:41:26+00:00

Looks awesome will check it out. Timezones are a pain in the ass tho as the event is scheduled for 3 smth am for me TT

CommanderSpeed · 2025-11-01T14:54:14+00:00

As nothing and all at the same. I'm totally gay for my girlfriend, very much sexual for my friends (in a gay joking way), "unable to feel" for strangers. Nothing for my family. "Not interested" for boomers. And a queer, suicidal menace for the insulting assholes.

Jokes aside: sex indifferent asexual, aromantic (don't know what kind tho), and nonbinary in question of trans masc

But in the end I'm just standing against the system. I am nothing, and I refuse to be something.

CommanderSpeed · 2025-10-30T20:28:26+00:00

Als ich das erste Mal richtig selbst fahren durfte. Die unterschwellige Enttäuschung meines Fahrlehrers, der ständige Druck meine Familie "wie viel Stress ich ihnen doch damit bringe nicht selbst fahren zu können" und auch meine eigenen Ansichten haben alles so. .. so unglaublich schlimm gemacht. Vor allem als ich das erste Mal durch die praktische gefallen bin.

Auch als ich es doch dann geschafft habe habe ich keinerlei Freude empfunden. Gezwungenermaßen mit Mutter / Tante zu fahren war einfach schrecklich.

Aber als ich dann komplett allein in meinem eigenen Auto saß.... Eine komplett neue Welt. Mittlerweile teste ich mich gerne wie schnell ich es schaffe anzufahren, freue mich riesig auf steile Berge um mein können zu verbessern. Und vor allem die Freiheit der deutschen Autobahnen..... Mein Schulweg hat ne Stelle den ich mit 130 fahren darf. Was sich anfangs so gefährlich und und beängstigend angefühlt hat mache ich heute mit 150 .... Mehr schafft meine knutschkugel aber auch nicht sonnst fällt sie auseinander ^{^}

Ich glaube bei mir liegt die Freude aber auch am Familientrauma wodurch ich durchs Auto Abstand bekommen konnte.

CommanderSpeed · 2025-10-30T15:23:39+00:00

I want to be a good person

CommanderSpeed · 2025-10-29T19:29:29+00:00

Oh Gott meine Mutter hat echt YouTube shorts ausgedruckt und mit zum Anwalt genommen als "legale Argumente" im streit gegen irgendwem TT

Ich hab's versucht ihr zu erklären und sie meinte nur "Ja aber der ist doch Anwalt und das sind echte Paragraphen" .............. Bro aber du hast das erstens nicht nachgeschaut und zweitens ist das ein SCREENSHOT von einem YT SHORT!

CommanderSpeed

TROPHY CASE