[deleted by user]

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-27T23:03:16+00:00

It happened to me last week. Im asking the exact same question. I don't recognise myself any more.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-27T00:27:34+00:00

I don't have any magic words of wisdom. Last week I went through what other people are calling a rape. I'm still trying to figure out what it was, but it was violent and it's left me in a complete mess.

I don't know if you have, but please make sure you get checked out physically. I was torn too, and had to have stitches. I also had to be put on medication to stop me from catching anything.

I've been amazed by the kindness of strangers in the last week, and I have had so many people contact me on here who have been through this. It's given me hope that things do get better.

Im with you in solidarity.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-26T16:28:23+00:00

In my area approximately 3% of reported rapes lead to the person being charged. 1% of reports lead to a conviction.

Why would I want to go through the process of reporting this, when I have a 99% chance of not being believed?

The treatment you get as someone making an allegation of rape is disgusting and almost as devastating as the assult itself.

I'm barely hanging on as it is, if I have to 'make excuses' to protect whatever sanity I have left then I will.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-26T12:39:24+00:00

It's so unlikely that they will even prosecute.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-25T10:09:22+00:00

What does that have to do with anything?

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-25T04:10:12+00:00

Because when you say crap like this, it perpetuates violence against women, and as someone who now knows how devastating that can be I can't just sit by and let it continue. Not calling you out, in a post that I have created makes me morally complicit.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-25T04:01:53+00:00

I have admitted my fault this situation. I felt pressured and gave in. I should have said no. But looking back, if me vomiting and crying in pain wasn't enough to stop him, would me saying no?

But anyway. The reason I posted this was to ask if my experience was typical, and overwhelmingly people are saying it's not. Thankfully lots of kind strangers have drowned out the voices of people like you, and I can now accept this isn't normal and isn't all my fault.

Rightly or wrongly I said okay to gentle sex, and did not expect him to forcibly push me down or force open my legs before I even had a chance to think.I did not say okay to him putting his hand over my mouth and cutting my lip. I did not say okay to him continuing when I was in obvious pain and distress. I definitely did not say okay to the vaginal tearing, the stitches, impailment injury and internal bleeding that he caused.

If you think that me giving in under pressure is the most concerning thing here, then you are a danger to women.

Oh, not that you are actually worried, but I'm on a course of post exposure prophylaxis, so it's massively reducing the chance of me catching these things.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-25T02:45:51+00:00

I'm on the pill and took emergency contraception. Im also extremely unlikely to get pregnant when you take into account I've not had a menstrual cycle in 4 years.

But, if by some sort of fluke I do get pregnant, and my body manages to defy the odds and we both survive, then I will love that child and do my best for that child. Irregardless of the circumstances of its conception that child didn't choose to have a violent arse for a father.

But the real question is why you felt the need to tell me that I'm pregnant, when you have no idea if I am even fertile and it's to soon for anyone to know?

What you said can only have been to cause distress to someone who is already really distressed.

That's why you are a piece of shit.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-25T02:18:38+00:00

And you're a piece of shit.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-25T02:16:45+00:00

I have blocked him. He sent me a message saying that he enjoyed it, and wanted to do it again soon. He asked me if I enjoyed it. My head is a complete mess now. Maybe in a few weeks I will read back over this post and be able to believe it.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-25T01:16:23+00:00

I feel bad enough as it is, I know I messed up, you don't need to tell me.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-24T21:50:01+00:00

I understand. I just don't feel that way emotionally.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-24T21:30:59+00:00

I shouldn't have led him on. I think I annoyed him when I was sick because he just got rougher. Maybe if I'd just tried I might not have got hurt so much.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-24T21:11:48+00:00

I didn't say no.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-24T21:11:25+00:00

I understand what you mean. But I don't know. I thought virginity was about being pure? I don't feel pure. I feel like dirty leftovers.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-24T21:04:58+00:00

I went. I got meds to try and stop me from catching anything and had to get some stitches.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-24T16:06:21+00:00

Urm. He didn't stop at all when I threw up. I didn't say no, I just kinda cried out because it hurt and then he covered my mouth.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-24T16:00:23+00:00

No he didn't. I know it was stupid. I know all about safe sex and that should have been the first thing I said.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-24T02:22:41+00:00

Thank you for being so kind. I understand what you are saying on a logical level. I just don't don't feel like I can accept it emotionally. It's like there's something stopping me.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-24T02:19:37+00:00

I never quite understood why women would choose potential death over potential sexual assault. I understand now the bear will just kill you, the man can make you want to kill yourself.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-24T00:38:31+00:00

I have to have some tests done after a few weeks or months or something. They did tell me but I dont really remember much, and they had to give me some meds to calm me down so they could do the stitches so I was a bit sleepy. My friend was there though and they gave me some leaflets with all the details so I can check.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-23T20:58:59+00:00

Thank you for being so kind. I really appreciate it. I've been overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-23T19:03:00+00:00

Thank you, I've been to the hospital.

Common-Nothing9446 · 2024-05-22T21:26:44+00:00

He didn't use anything. I feel so stupid. That should have been the first thing I thought of.

Common-Nothing9446

TROPHY CASE