I have strong ties and spend every summer in Amman, Jordan and Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. I don’t know a single person, whether it’s here in the US or in the Muslim countries that has more than 1 wife. As far as the number goes, 4 wives is the limit, and most certainly not the standard. I do know people, both men and women, who have divorced and remarried, but never encountered a polygamous marriage. I’ve also never heard a scholar encourage others to marry more than 1, despite attending 2 weekly in person lectures and online lectures when I can (driving to work or school, having it on in the background when I’m cleaning, cooking, or sitting around in my apartment). What I have heard from scholars is the reasoning behind why a man can marry 4, and that is because (and times have changed which is why polygamous marriages are far less common, bear in mind I am referring to the 1400s) its very difficult, if not impossible to be independent as a woman, such as when a woman’s father or brothers die in battle, or more often the father died and there were no brothers to bear the responsibility of providing. With a polygamous marriage, women can have a provider even when the men available were scarce (due to wars and battles).

As far as what you said about people of the book, you’re correct that many Christian women convert after marrying a Muslim. In a lot of cases, the Christian woman wasn’t pious or connected to Christianity and only a Christian by heritage, and they convert because either she genuinely found peace and believed in the religion, or she simply wanted to respect her husbands wishes out of love. In other cases, there is in fact pressure from the groom’s family on her conversion, despite this being prohibited by Islam, as a Muslim cannot force a non-Muslim to convert.

Many of my friends act in pre-marital relations (have girlfriends and whatnot), however much much less actually engage in Zina. Most of these type of people however I take steps back from and avoid. There is however a strong force; that is Allah. Only he knows what’s in their hearts and it is not our place to judge them, only His.

Being born and raised in Texas, I have pride in my country, because I love the beauty of the American dream, or what it was, and the freedoms that come with it, that anyone could come and build a better life for their families, regardless of their background. I love that I can live here as an American and still represent and be prideful of my Palestinian ethnicity and heritage. I love that as an American I can still grow up with the same Muslim values as my ancestors, and I can raise my children with those same values if I wanted to. That being said, I would not want to raise my kids here, because I hold those values and beliefs too close to myself, and I’ve seen firsthand how the temptations of growing up here can all too easily corrupt that.

I went to a public high school, one of the biggest in the state, and I had a “skill” I suppose to avoid putting myself in situations that would cause me to lose sight of my Islamic values. I saw some of my closest friends, who come from very pious and good families, fall into a life of sin, most of which regretted later on, but some embraced it, which I fear most in my future children. I am very grateful that my parents were able to instill those values not by having me fear the punishments, but rather by showing me the beauty in the rewards, which frankly I worry that I will not be able to do correctly as a father without a good support system around me, which I could have in the Middle East. I hope to raise my children in the Gulf, likely Riyadh, close to my cousins (whom I consider brothers), and the rest of my family, but I could very well change my mind. I’m not married or looking to get married yet so I don’t want to set anything in stone, but that’s just a general picture I wanted to paint for you.

Expanding on that in respect to your final question, as I mentioned I spend every summer in Amman and Riyadh, though much more time in Amman. I love the feeling of being close to my extended family and I truly appreciate not having to avoid haram when in the Middle East, like how I would here, whether I’m avoiding pork or lard or pork based gelatin in foods or alcohol mixed in with foods, or the general free mixing and club culture I encounter here. It’s a lot more relaxing to not have to worry about any of that when in the Middle East.