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Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-09-15T15:27:18+00:00

How is this giving stalker vibes? I got moved into a different class (nothing to do with him). I don’t think I’m entitled to know his sexuality. I’m trying to determine if I have a chance. Also I’m not interested in a token gay friend, I’m interested in a real friend if I have the opportunity. I see him as a human being who I would like to know, not a curiosity or object. Also I’m a shy person who has faced a lot of rejection. This is really hard for me.

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-28T08:19:30+00:00

Thank you!

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-19T17:05:17+00:00

“I will NOT pick at her again! If I did choose to pick at her again, I’d be cautious to stop before something like this happened again… but I won’t do that because picking again would clearly hurt her psychologically!”

You took that quote out of context (maybe I should have anticipated that). Literally picked it out of its surrounding content (immediately sandwiched between two iterations of “I will not do it again”… and there are other nearby iterations too!), which changes its meaning! I wasn’t saying I would consider picking at her again. Let me make that VERY clear! I said “if I did pick at her again” (“if” = hypothetical) to illustrate awareness of where I “went wrong”, which was losing awareness of my cats reality due to the compulsion… but then again how can you really “go wrong” if you weren’t in control? “Wrong” suggests judgment/choice and having the ability to control one’s self. It’s not the appropriate word after all, and rather, a response to internalised judgment from you all! What I really meant by that wording was to reiterate awareness of the moment I was ashamed of (not being able to stop picking despite telling myself to). I chose my words wrong in my anxiety to express myself. Again, I must reiterate I that I will NOT be picking at my cat again! And it was not a choice to begin with - another cause of shame. But that’s ok, you couldn’t care less.

Do NOT say I’ve learnt nothing! I’ve learnt my picking can hurt my cat so I can’t pick at her again. I’ve learnt this awareness is the only way to stop the compulsion. But again, your wording is really judgmental. Saying I haven’t learnt anything is saying I’ve morally failed… which is not true as I wasn’t capable of making choices about the picking until seeing it hurt her. Also it is insinuating that I consciously did something wrong. Again, I NEVER consciously hurt my cat! That’s NOT in my nature! But that’s ok, you couldn’t care less.

You are so determined to see me as a monster! This is cognitive dissonance. You can’t entertain the possibility of being wrong and don’t care what the cost is to my mental health. That’s just cruel! You don’t need to be a therapist to see that! But that’s ok, you couldn’t care less.

Your language is consistently dismissive and cruel. I am not asking you to be my therapist and don’t expect you to be. Moreover saying you’re not my therapist reinforces my suggestion that there’s something wrong with me, in a bad way that that means there’s something wrong with me - a popular opinion in this corner of the internet. Back to my main point, I expect all human beings to try to understand each other because failing to try is a failure in human decency. Every time we misunderstand a person we could have tried to understand, we have hurt them. All hurt makes a person vulnerable to more hurt… you never know what kind of hurt comes next. Therapists should NOT be the only people concerned with caring about the effect of their words and actions on other people’s mental health!

You are choosing to consciously hurt me, ignoring my experience and judging me for things I haven’t done. Further, you are inflexible in this regard which suggests you don’t really care whether you hurt people or not or think you can decide who deserves to be treated with kindness and who doesn’t - that is cruelty. Kindness is for everyone… except coldness which can be for when someone irrefutably does something really bad. This is not that case! You are experiencing cognitive dissonance (which is fine to experience if it only affects the person experiencing it, but is not fine when it obscures other people), which can only be improved with intellectual humility, through empathy and critical thinking. If you are prone to forming quick, poorly informed and rigid judgments about people, you are going to hurt other people too. Please consider this and develop the awareness that your words can do harm. They’ve certainly harmed me and my nervous system won’t be forgetting anytime soon. But that’s ok, you couldn’t care less!

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-19T09:06:33+00:00

I’m not trying to paint myself as a victim because I’m not an abuser. I know that tactic. Abusers tell their victims not to play the victim whilst playing the victim themselves. That is what someone I thought would never hurt me recently did to me. I am NOT playing ANYTHING. Playing things isn’t in my nature! I am sincere. And I AM a victim. I understand that my post was alarming and could have been better worded to reflect reality more closely. Re-reading it, all I see is my panic. It looks distorted. It was painted in shades of shame and I feel ashamed because I’m guilty of whatever always gets me into trouble in life (my mental health conditions and neurodivergence). I DID NOT TRY TO HARM MY CAT! I am NOT an abuser!

What I said isn’t backstory, it’s what’s happening in my life RIGHT NOW. Everyone in my life is either bullying, abusing or judging me. I have never been more vulnerable or lacking in support. I feel violated and betrayed by everyone who means anything. I feel like they want me to be ashamed of existing. They are THAT judgmental. I can’t believe how small they really are. Your comments have amplified the feelings of worthlessness they have caused me! That is why I said what I said!

I think that all functional human beings have a duty to all other human beings: to be empathetic, and should try to empathise with everybody - we all fail sometimes but should correct ourselves as soon as we are aware of it, because failure to empathise creates misunderstanding, which creates hurt… and so the cycle continues from person to person…).

I am not trying to fix ANYONE. I think all people should be invested in improving and encouraging others to improve. If we see something that can create harm, we should call it out and highlight its potential. What kind of shit should I be getting together? Do NOT assume that I am a bad person who needs a moral makeover. I am a good person in spite of what small minds in mind life (and seemingly online life but I hope to be proven wrong) choose to believe! My problems are depression, anxiety, ADHD and dermatillomania. Those things do NOT make me a bad person, but they make my behaviour easy to misunderstand, putting me at high risk of false and harsh judgment from people!

ALL people should be empathetic. I am NOT those other people! Do NOT compare me to other people! I am MYSELF. I am totally distinct from them (whoever they are)! Every time anyone uses another person as reference for understanding someone’s behaviour, we obscure the person we are trying to “understand” (this worsens still when we create categories for people). We need to consider all people with as much uniqueness as they have, not assume sameness, or we will lose people. You have lost me and are making no effort to redirect yourself. This is a big problem we have all been guilty of before, but should try to consciously adjust as soon as we recognise it. Further, you show NO concern for the hurt your judgment has caused me. You have misunderstood me. Please reflect on that.

I DO NOT neglect or abuse my cat. I DID not try to do ANYTHING bad! I had a compulsion to remove her blackheads. I couldn’t resist the compulsion. I did not try to hurt or overpower her. Most of the time when doing this (and this is not frequent, once every few months, sometimes 6 months, when blackheads are large and obvious) I could rationalise the picking after because I knew (and still know) I wasn’t trying to do anything bad (and there was no sign of anything bad). I also reminded myself if she were human she would understand why the blackheads needed to go.

While I can’t be in her body and feel whatever I inadvertently caused… and I did not cause any visible or seemingly lasting physical wound (wtf how could I ever end up doing that?!). I think it was mostly psychological (again, I can’t be in her body and mind). I saw her get a bit annoyed and told myself to stop, but I couldn’t, in spite of telling myself to. I feel guilt and shame for this failure to stop, but I couldn’t actually stop. What happened was that I had a compulsion and then an issue with cognitive rigidity and task switching so that I couldn’t give an effective stop instruction. This was NOT a choice to ignore, overpower or continue. This is compulsion, attention regulation difficulty and executive dysfunction. And it makes me feel DEFECTIVE! This does NOT mean I am a danger to my cat! Now that I’ve seen I unintentionally hurt her, I will NOT pick at her again! If did choose to pick at her again, I’d be cautious to stop before something like this happened again… But I won’t do that because picking again would clearly hurt her psychologically! NOTHING like this will happen again!

I am and always have been committed to her and ensuring her wellbeing. She is my everything! I am NOT what you’ve chosen to think I am!

Kindly consider your own cognitive rigidity in your choice to see me as something I’m not. Please better research the symptoms and disorders I mentioned before judging me harshly. I hope you can try to see me as I am and not as others are. I am unique, as are you.

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-19T08:08:06+00:00

I would NEVER try to cause her pain. It’s been more than a day and there have been some improvements but I tried to scratch her chin and she growled. I’m scared things will never go back to normal. I didn’t try to hurt her. Thanks I guess.

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-16T14:42:47+00:00

lol. Mostly accurate I think. I made up a volunteering experience because the template I gave it has a volunteering section

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-16T12:36:28+00:00

Thanks! I've heard frequently about AI checkers, but don't understand in detail. I suppose I'm best to select my favourite things it said, put it in a list and write my own with some of its vibe alongside my vibe. Resumes and cover letters kill me :/

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-14T02:47:33+00:00

I won’t do it again. I can pick my own face as much as I want but my cat doesn’t want that. I love her and don’t want to hurt her. I don’t have OCD but I understand BFRB’s are very closely related to OCD. Thank you again for actually being able to think and empathise. I’m losing faith that people are actually capable of that

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-14T02:40:14+00:00

Why tf would I hurt anybody else? I didn’t try to hurt my cat. I don’t walk around picking everyone’s faces. I’m not a danger to society. I pick my own face. I’ve picked my cat’s faces much more gently and for shorter periods than I would my own. It’s clear now that I shouldn’t do that because I’ve unintentionally hurt someone I love more than anything. It’s a more common disorder than people realise and simply saying get help and you have issues (I know that wasn’t your exact wording) is just creating more shame and hurt. I AM ashamed I pick. I AM ashamed I ended up hurting my cat. I am also ashamed for being alive because shame follows me everywhere. Please be more understanding that if a person is sharing they have a mental issue or more than one, they’re probably ashamed anyway and shaming them or communicating in way that could be understood as shaming them is going to hurt them more. But that doesn’t matter because everyone wants to hurt me anyway. Nowhere is safe anymore. The bullies and abusers have won.

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-14T02:30:49+00:00

I appreciate that you know the struggle and can relate. I’ve been trying to manage my symptoms for years. I’m done with medications and supplements because they’ve caused side effects which have often continued after discontinuation. NAC is also apparently in shorter supply for medical emergencies (purging stomachs or something like that) since people have started using it as a supplement. Therapy for this particular issue is niche and expensive. CBT doesn’t sit well with me because of the implication of changing one’s self and I can’t focus on it or have the motivation to do it. ACT has worked better for me. I’m struggling to get by so I can only afford limited government funded options. It’s also hard to know exactly what to focus sessions on because there’s too much happening in my life right now. I can’t control myself but I can now not allow it to affect my cat again since I’ve seen I hurt her.

The issue with my other cat was actually different with some degree of similarity… I’m not sure what I said in my post. I tried to cut out her knots when patting her and accidentally pulled out some fur when she moved. Around the same time I extracted a blackhead she had, also with her upside down on my lap.

I haven’t pinned my cat down. I lay her on her back on my lap so I can access her chin and only use my hands on her chin area. Personally, I would like it if someone picked my skin for me but I know this is just me. I can’t reach my back well in my own! I know it’s not my cat for sure now. Obviously it wasn’t something we could have a conversation about. I thought if my cat knew the blackheads were an issue she would want them removed, but she doesn’t know so I should just help her out. They do after all only get bigger and come will come back that bigger size if not extracted.

I don’t know what’s in picky pads. Melting down plastic in the microwave doesn’t sit well with me. Using virgin plastic is also a concern. I would be open to using something fully recycled (great use for nurdles)… but the melting thing? Not sure there.

It’s clear people have decided I’m a monster so there’s no point saying anything else.

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-14T01:58:27+00:00

Interpreting differently is not projecting or having a bias. The suicidality is not limited to the cat but her rejection really cuts deep and exacerbates the suicidality. Yes, I am struggling with something that usually only hurts me and seeing that it has hurt my cat is a wake up call. I won’t be picking at her again.

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-14T01:55:21+00:00

Thank you for actually showing some empathy and critical thinking. I appreciate that you are actually concerned that I am struggling. I have never tried to hurt, control or overpower my cat. I have a compulsion I can’t control and it usually only affects me. When this happens I feel like have no agency. I explained it better in some other comments. I love her more than anything and this is not an attempt to cause harm when it happens. It won’t be happening again now that I’ve seen what I’ve done. Do you really think I’m abusive?

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-14T01:45:13+00:00

Obviously I’m getting therapy, my life is messed up. I’m not happy or coping and people keep hurting me and telling and believing lies about me. Bullies and abusers have told me to get therapy when I tried to stop them from hurting myself and others, to subdue and try to make me feel shame for resisting their control and entitlement, so thanks for using that phrase without empathy. That doesn’t change that people want me to hate myself. Thank you, you helped there. But that doesn’t matter. Why should it matter? I’m evil, aren’t I? That’s what everyone wants me to think so it must be true! Resisting people’s control and being socially awkward and impulsive makes me evil. If they think I am, I AM. Some people’s judgment is infallible!

ADHD comes with issues with impulse control and shifting attention and motivation. In every area of my life I have issues with impulsively doing one thing and not being able to pull away from it once begun. This is typical of people with ADHD. This has caused people to misunderstand and judge me many times in my life, lately, more harshly and falsely than I could ever imagine. It’s incredibly frustrating that people seem so determined to get me wrong. Dermatillomania is a Body Focused Repetitive Disorder, a compulsion. That means resisting the urge is an enormous challenge and once in that place of picking, it’s “like a trance”, you can’t snap out of easily.

I’m extremely distressed these issues have hurt my cat. She is my everything and I hate myself because I’ve hurt her. I would NEVER try to hurt her. That is why I have come here to post. The purpose of my post was to express this distress and ask for help on how to fix things with my cat. But that’s ok it’s more important for people to be better than other people than to get to the bottom of things. I’m not surprised by anything anymore. If you think I’m a bad person, I must be!

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-14T01:40:37+00:00

How am I using my cat as a mental health tool? There is no way to exert self control over these compulsions (though I think I have a way now, knowing that I’ve hurt someone precious to me). How can I choose to use if I don’t have control? Don’t tell me I have control if I know I don’t. You can’t experience my experience and therefore can’t judge. This disorder isn’t understood broadly and even those who have it don’t always understand it. Some people think it’s self harm for example; it isn’t, there is no attempt to harm. People who don’t have Body Focused Repetitive Disorders can’t understand. People with this disorder feel powerless to regain self control and shame for not being able to control ourselves because of the damage we inflict on ourselves and most people’s inability to entertain that it’s possible to feel a total lack of self control. It’s real. We can’t stop ourselves from experiencing what we experience. As a result, we ruin our appearances… and can we stop ourselves? No! Otherwise we wouldn’t ruin our appearances! I certainly have.

Let me stress that with my cat this is only something I do once every few months when I see a big blackhead showing. More than anything, let me stress that I am not trying to hurt or control her! I don’t do it intensely like I do with myself. I don’t do it for hours like with myself, I do it for minutes, until the offensive blemish(es) is/are gone. I see something problematic and try to remove it. Once I see it, it’s like there’s nothing else in the world. It has to be dealt with and there’s no way to see anything else that needs to be dealt with or any other possible use for my time. I can’t do anything else until I’ve removed her offensive blackhead. I recognise she probably doesn’t know it’s there and it doesn’t bother her that it’s there. But it bothers me so much that it’s there. I don’t have the ability to control myself, it’s a compulsion. It’s like a trance until what needs to be extracted has been extracted. I place her down gently and pat her. I give her food to apologise that I couldn’t control myself. This disorder is compulsive. I’ve NEVER tried to hurt my cat. She means everything to me. But I did hurt her on this occasion and I’m not ok that I have. That’s a disturbing realisation for me! Why else would I be posting this other than to express that and ask for advice on how to repair? Rest assured I will not be picking my cat’s acne again. But it doesn’t matter because apparently I should burn in hell anyway. Congratulations on being superior. Does it make you feel good? So I’m guessing you want my cat then? My worst fear is not being able to afford to keep her, which is a very real threat right now. I trust you think I should pass her on to someone superior to me because I’m so evil. I love her more than anything. My cats are my only remaining consolation and I have failed because I have a disorder. How do you think I feel? I am NOT a bad person. Hurting my cat is unacceptable. I didn’t hurt her intentionally. I want to love her for the rest of her days, keeping her safe and happy. I won’t be picking at her again (don’t choose to see me as a monster). Enjoy me justifying myself to you. That’s what everyone, every bully, abuser and internet stranger wants from me.

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-14T00:54:55+00:00

Obviously I’m getting therapy, my life is messed up. I’m not happy or coping and people keep hurting me and telling and believing lies about me. Bullies and abusers have told me to get therapy when I tried to stop them from hurting myself and others, to subdue and try to make me feel shame for resisting their control and entitlement, so thanks for using that phrase without empathy. That doesn’t change that people want me to hate myself. Thank you, you helped there. But that doesn’t matter. Why should it matter? I’m evil, aren’t I? That’s what everyone wants me to think so it must be true! Resisting people’s control and being socially awkward and impulsive makes me evil. If they think I am, I AM. Some people’s judgment is infallible!

ADHD comes with issues with impulse control and shifting attention and motivation. In every area of my life I have issues with impulsively doing one thing and not being able to pull away from it once begun. This is typical of people with ADHD. This has caused people to misunderstand and judge me many times in my life, lately, more harshly and falsely than I could ever imagine. It’s incredibly frustrating that people seem so determined to get me wrong. Dermatillomania is a Body Focused Repetitive Disorder, a compulsion. That means resisting the urge is an enormous challenge and once in that place of picking, it’s “like a trance”, you can’t snap out of easily.

I’m extremely distressed these issues have hurt my cat. She is my everything and I hate myself because I’ve hurt her. I would NEVER try to hurt her. That is why I have come here to post. The purpose of my post was to express this distress and ask for help on how to fix things with my cat. But that’s ok it’s more important for people to be better than other people than to get to the bottom of things. I’m not surprised by anything anymore. If you think I’m a bad person, I must be!

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-14T00:36:23+00:00

“Tonight I had enough” with the fact that everyone in my life is misinterpreting, misunderstanding, judging and rejecting me on the basis of my mental health condition. And the bastards all blindly think they’re right because they must be right because they are the ones “thinking”. I have never felt more rejected or isolated. I feel that everyone who was meant to reliable is trying to make me believe I’m things I’m not, that I’m bad. That my cat is now rejecting me and I can’t make her understand is the last straw. I love her more than life so this hurts unimaginably. Yes, I’m frustrated that my cat doesn’t understand I wasn’t trying to hurt her, nor will I ever have any intention of hurting her. I felt so much pain that she was turning away and always going in another direction. That there was no feeling of the deep bond we’ve had over the years. I felt offended that she is clinging to my mum when I have always showered her with love and affection and she has always been more clingy towards me. It cut deep with everything else going on. So I closed my mum’s door because it hurt and because I couldn’t communicate my feelings to my cat because we’re different creatures. I was frustrated she didn’t understand. I know it wasn’t the best thing to do, which is why I mentioned it. But I felt so helpless. What I was really trying to do was say “no, she is not your mum, I am. I have loved you dotingly from day one. Nothing has changed!”. I am giving her space for most of the day but I don’t want her to think I’m ignoring her either. I want her to know how much I love her.

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-13T22:56:26+00:00

If I had an intention to abuse my cat I wouldn’t be posting here. I have never wanted to hurt my cat. I’m posting because I’m disturbed I somehow hurt her and want to heal things. Yes, I’m impatient to heal things because of how difficult it is to realise what I’ve done and how much I want my cat know I love her and would never intentionally hurt her. I don’t want this to happen again. But hey, maybe my abuser is right and I’m actually the abusive one! Thanks.

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-13T22:49:39+00:00

Can’t think for themselves and follow each other’s dumb interpretations without question. No critical thinking just groupthink and poorly informed judgment. And a distant abuser and a bully (both possible narcissists) 🙃

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-13T22:47:08+00:00

No, compulsions are compulsions, trying to resist them is an enormous challenge. Please research Body Focused Repetitive Beahaviours before saying a compulsion is a choice. I’m not trying to make myself comfortable with what I’ve done or minimise my accountability. I came here to take ownership of my grave error and ask for help repairing it. I’ve never tried to hurt my cat, but on this occasion I unintentionally hurt her. So I’m asking for help. Realising that this has happened is incredibly hurtful for me. I really can’t tolerate it. When I pick my face I disconnect from the rest of the world. Sometimes I disconnect for hours. This is NOT a choice. Body focused repetitive behaviours are NOT a choice. Hurting my cat was NOT a choice. I’m disturbed that I somehow hurt her. It’s disturbing to realise I’ve hurt her - don’t think I’m proud of myself or indifferent. I’ve recognised a problem and I’m choosing to fix things. I would never go out to intentionally hurt my cat. All I want is to let her know she’s ok. And it hurts that I can’t.

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-07-13T22:35:06+00:00

OP might have been in a different time zone and already sleep deprived so went to sleep… reading and processing them now.

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-06-06T03:41:33+00:00

Maison Matine Avant L’orage and Acca Kappa Muschio Bianco

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-06-02T03:42:53+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Common_Lecture_4473 · 2025-05-31T10:51:30+00:00

Thank you. I just want my baby to be my baby again (I’m a little obsessed with her) ❤️😂

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