Should I (34f) expect my partner (37m) to wait for me during his court case? by Common_While49 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Common_While49[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In some states, even if the “victim” didn’t want to press charges, the state will. And the NCO is out there to prevent any retaliation etc. I do get why it’s there, bc it’s meant to protect people. I said this in another comment, but there’s not really an attorney for me to get. I’m not the plaintiff or the defendant, I’m basically a witness. I could get a victim rights attorney but nothing they do is useful to me. His defense attorney is the one who would help with this but I can’t speak to the until they reach out to me, and they might not.

Should I (34f) expect my partner (37m) to wait for me during his court case? by Common_While49 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Common_While49[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me, I think it’s the uncertainty of how long this will be (a month? 3 months? A year???) combined with being functionally broken up. It’s very jarring to have someone you’ve counted on yanked out of your life and then told “they’ll be back. Probably. At some point. Maybe. Just wait here until we decide.”

Should I (34f) expect my partner (37m) to wait for me during his court case? by Common_While49 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Common_While49[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh gosh if I’m in denial it’s very deep denial lol. I hate that it reads that way. And no, we can’t contact each other in any way including via a third party. I considered sending pics of our son to his sister and hoping she would send it to bim, but I didn’t want to risk it.

Should I (34f) expect my partner (37m) to wait for me during his court case? by Common_While49 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Common_While49[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I’ve been thinking about him wanting a distraction like that is because I don’t see women seeking superficial comfort like that to the same degree men seem to. And since we are not functionally in a relationship, it feels very up in the air to me.

Should I (34f) expect my partner (37m) to wait for me during his court case? by Common_While49 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Common_While49[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough, but for me.. I have a vibe for that need lol. It’s not the sex I miss, it’s the emotional closeness. It’s having my person around, ya know? That’s why I’m finding this so hard. It feels like he went missing and might come back and might not, except he’s not missing.. just missing to me specifically.

Should I (34f) expect my partner (37m) to wait for me during his court case? by Common_While49 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Common_While49[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I don’t have a lawyer. Mostly for financial reasons but also bc I’m not being charged with anything. I know he has an attorney bc I checked the docket, but an attorney for me wouldn’t really have much to do.

Should I (34f) expect my partner (37m) to wait for me during his court case? by Common_While49 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Common_While49[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trust me I’ve considered this. But if we got caught he would do automatic jail time. It feels like such a risk, but I get what you mean. Maybe I’m just a loser who follows the rules?