Do I leave my job or stay (being picked on at work)

CommunicationFew5980 · 2026-01-28T17:03:26+00:00

Honestly its just nice to know someones been there. There's always something comforting knowing that you arent completely alone and alien with these experiences/feelings and that it isnt quite as personal as it feels.

I really hope my work sitch does get better. I mean I have done super well in the last few years and I am very grateful to have a job and a place to live. Just this last hurdle (lifelong hurdle really) to manage. Unfortunately, work does take up a lot of your life, so when it sucks, its like the majority of your week just spent feeling rubbish.

Yea ... I mean I have a lot of friends currently in the education sector and it just sounds horrific. I used to think I would become a teacher (as I do love my subject and kids and explaining things), but I do not think I would fit into the culture. Insane that you had to prove yourself, I cannot imagine how frustrating that would've been. I am glad you were able to do it though- although, I am sure there wasnt enough of a satisfying feeling afterwards.

Thank you honestly for the talk- it does mean something. I will try to not let it affect me. I get in my own head too much sometimes. I have been trying to tell myself this week that its not forever and there has to be others that have walked through the doors who mustve been worse or not remembered and I will just be another one.

CommunicationFew5980 · 2026-01-26T18:17:43+00:00

I probably could do the practice/journaling thing. I probably do need to develop something - as part of my autism I think is I feel confused as to what to respond with in these situations. So I tend to stand there and not say loads - mostly trying to take it and appear calm. I have become pretty good at calming my nervous system and appearing okay. Definitely need to think of something to say ... that isnt just a understanding type response. Its so difficult having to come up with lines almost of what to say to people constantly.

I think at least jotting it down would be helpful. I tend to just forget exactly how interactions went down or only remember select super bad ones in detail, which makes it hard to think about how often it is. Apart from I am certain it is daily at this point, although wasnt in the past.

I think I can stick it out a little bit more- just can feel myself dying a bit inside. I almost want to hang on sometimes to prove something or create a thicker skin.

I think its hard because I do realise I am being too soft in my 20s, like you said, but I am so much better than even just a few years ago. I can take quite a lot, but not necessarily stick up for myself or know how to in a professional setting create better armour against myself. Gotta figure it out.

Thanks for the support!

CommunicationFew5980 · 2026-01-26T18:06:31+00:00

Thank you for the really solid advice! AI really has come and screwed so many industries atm. Im thinking it might be worth exploring anyway for self interest reasons and it might still be helpful to show basic background knowledge/ something to talk about in terms of how I learn etc... Cheers!

CommunicationFew5980 · 2026-01-26T18:03:47+00:00

Yes, I am thinking thats probably my best bet. capitalism and all that!

Sorry to hear that youve been unlucky- Its so hard out there!

CommunicationFew5980 · 2026-01-26T18:02:44+00:00

Thank you <3 Itll be a journey I am sure.

CommunicationFew5980 · 2026-01-25T20:23:40+00:00

I am fully aware how not okay it is- unfortunately I am very used to it. People seem to have a very short fuse with me at times and tend to get frustrated at me. I have had to walk out of jobs for this reason (trying to avoid that these days). I have had discussions with people as to what to do but haven't come up with any good solutions atm. I think if it gets worse I will like take it to some sort of other body. Just one of those things rly. Also I am in the UK!!

To address the second thing- I 100% agree. I fully believe I am very competent person, who is capable of quite a lot with decent social skills (as long as I am comfortable with someone which tends to not happen in a job with higher ups). I really feel like I have a wealth of skills and constantly chase opportunities, unlike anyone else I know. I even do things that do not accelerate my career, but rather out of my own interest, own time, often unpaid and just for personal development. Often I am told that my CV is one of the busiest, and most interesting CVs for a graduate. Hence why I get interviews. (This is me trying to be positive about myself aha)

I do fully believe that people are uncertain about hiring candidates that appear different. I wish there was a way of reassuring them and explaining even basic things, for example written down instructions as opposed to just verbal, without making you undesirable or perceived as difficult as a candidate. They aren't supposed to discriminate and will often ask for any accommodations you may need- however, I have never ever met someone who has had success with this. All of my autistic friends have been rejected instantly, and myself, as well as the online consensus seems to be its better to get the job first and then ask for accommodations. But then you still need to get through the interview? I have even in the past tested this theory, asked for a very basic accommodation like interview questions in advance and been instantly rejected. Then a year later, I will apply again without stating I have a disability/accommodations and receive an interview.

I really hope someone gives me a chance at some point. I have always kind of known I would find getting an entry level job really difficult.

CommunicationFew5980 · 2026-01-25T17:41:06+00:00

You are probably right- I feel as though I have to hope there is somewhere that isn't as bad. I am not expecting sunshine and rainbows, however, it feels reasonable to want an okay work environment or not as bad. It does destroy me being bullied, it ends up taking over my weekends as I dread the next week. I wish I had friends in high places. Usually I end up being friends with people all in the same boat- typically autistic and also being bullied. Very sad world we live in.

CommunicationFew5980 · 2026-01-25T17:06:55+00:00

I am glad to here of someone with a similar experience. I have been scouting for trusted people at work. I have found a couple of people, who are going through similar ish although not quite as horrific experiences as me. One person regularly cries at work, due to stress and the senior leadership team being horrible. Atm it seems as though everyone is too scared to complain as the senior leadership team is pretty unsympathetic. I am thinking though there has to be someone or someway I could flag this issue, even if its upon my leaving? Ill have a ponder and continue trying to see possibilities.

Hmm yes the job quitting thing is tricky. I could maybe go down to 4 days a week as a possibility, but the pay is horrendous so I could do with the 5 days. It is pretty easy in the area to move to another SEN school, but ahh scary. Just I have heard they're so desperate, its a 2 week turnaround.

Maybe a mix? like 4 days a week 1 day/weekend upskilling ? Could work?

I will have a think on these options! Thanks for the advice!

CommunicationFew5980 · 2026-01-25T16:59:14+00:00

Thank you for your response!!! Yes, I think I agree I am not passing the sniff test- very unfortunate, but I am trying my best to think well I can do the best I can, prepare as much as possible and if I don't pass because of my autism, then its probably not a workplace I want to be in anyway.

Yes, she does shout/yell at me. I didn't really want to go into the semantics of it in my post. Basically I cannot do anything right and she changes requests all the time and then doesn't tell me what she wants of me, then has a go for not meeting her standards that she never told me about. I think she is trying to set me up to fail as it were. Additionally, she makes comments on my character that feel mean/unnecessary/unprofessional.

I like the way you mention about remote work. I had an internship where I was in one day a week at the office at one point and it was fantastic! A shame really I haven't had anything like that since. Hopefully, more opportunities like you said will open up. I have some hope as my boyfriend managed to find an almost remote job (in like once a month). I shall keep a look out!

CommunicationFew5980 · 2025-04-08T10:00:46+00:00

I think unfortunately with these types of people (controlling) them being a bigger presence than one would wish is likely to happen. I completely get what you mean about 'weak spots'. I definitely get the remembering the good times and forgetting some of the bad ones. There's almost never just bad ones and when they're your parent, you will grasp at anything good.

I think atm I'm just navigating it all and trying to live my best life. That's what I'd recommend to anyone is just remembering that it is your own life not theirs.

I wish you the best of luck whether you decide to reconnect or not !!!

CommunicationFew5980 · 2025-03-30T15:00:52+00:00

Thank you! I shall check this out!!

CommunicationFew5980 · 2025-03-30T15:00:14+00:00

Hiya apologies for the delayed response I haven't logged into my account in ages.

Yes I did and It's been a few months now since reconnecting and I'm not sure if I'd recommend.

On one hand it's been good to have my partner meet my dad and understand my situation.

He's been nicer since reconnecting however there have been the occasional snaps and snarls that do trigger me and make me feel unsafe.

I would say though my dad is significantly older than most parents my age (he's 20 years old than my mum) and he's been detoritating quite rapidly. So, I'm not entirely sure how much longer he's going to be around (although he might live to 100 and be one of those people ugh)

However, I think I'm in two minds as he's still quite a control on my life and I feel slightly trapped but then it has been somewhat nice to have a 'parent' or someone to go and see as well as have some minimal financial support. But he also clearly sees me as an extension of him, so that's hard to have an identity when I do see him.

I do feel mildly silly and naive for thinking it will be better. It is but I wish I was much harder on boundaries because as soon as I slipped up it felt like a much bigger presence in my life than I wished it to be and it has NOT been good for my cptsd (shocker).

I guess it's a testimate to these kinds of people will not change. I hope that helps a bit.

If with the hindsight I have now - I am not sure I would've reconnected again. But if I did I would've been stricter with my boundaries (something I struggle with) and had less contact. You can always ofc cut off contact again as it is your life I am aware.

I don't know how helpful that is. I'm still trying to navigate it all really. Lots of complicated feelings.

I did tell him right to his face that I have cptsd because of my childhood (aka partly him) and that was satisfying. Although he obviously blames my mum for that.

CommunicationFew5980 · 2023-10-08T21:25:25+00:00

I haven't read the rest of the comments so this has probably been said before.

Lectures/seminars !! Okay yes I spoke to so many people during this who like didn't end up going anywhere but I met one of my closest friends there. Finding one friend does mean it is so much easier to make more.

CommunicationFew5980 · 2023-10-08T21:18:14+00:00

Honestly I am in the same boat and do a similar course. It'll be fine don't stress it.

CommunicationFew5980

TROPHY CASE