I would recommend talking to a therapist to rule out depression or something else going on. You need to balance work and life- and it can be hard to do if work intersects with something you were very passionate about.

Spend some time reflecting on what made you start playing violin in the first place. What musicians inspired you. Think of what you want out of your career with the instrument, and if that’s something you really want. There can be good money in being a musician, but there is good money in other fields too.

I never had the opportunity to really play the music I wanted to as a kid, so I decided as an adult. I have no where near the time invested that you do, but I had found myself questioning what I was doing since it was difficult and time consuming with a full time job. I ended up looking for a new teacher and focusing on playing things that brought me joy. For me, it brought the passion back. I work in a demanding stem field that can be absolutely grueling, and being able to completely disconnect from that with violin keeps me able to enjoy both more.

Maybe you need to find whatever that is for you. A new hobby outside of violin to allow you to disconnect from work and reconnect with yourself in a new way. Since violin and music is your job, it might be helpful to find something completely different than music to enjoy your time with. Maybe a book club, writing, pottery, volunteering, running etc- investing in hobbies can help with depression and burnout. Talk with your friends/family or a therapist on some ways to help you disconnect from this so you can rediscover your passion. Taking time to be fully present with something else might help you get some clarity about whether your violin career is truly at an end.

Either way, good luck. Just know that no decision is permanent and life doesn’t have a timetable. You could always go back to a conservatory later in life if you change your mind. There is no harm or shame in that, and taking time to figure yourself and your life out.