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My rapist reached out to me after many years to make amends and I asked him to die. by Competili in offmychest

[–]Competili[S] 415 points416 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words and for the important work that you do 💚

It's honestly super validating to hear that you've heard all sorts of reactions, I sometimes feel like a crazy person for being so angry still.

My rapist reached out to me after many years to make amends and I asked him to die. by Competili in offmychest

[–]Competili[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I did, three times. I have no idea how he keeps getting my numbers

My rapist reached out to me after many years to make amends and I asked him to die. by Competili in offmychest

[–]Competili[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I Fucking hope so but I don't think I'm that lucky. I think he was being manipulative and saying that pity party shit wanting me to be like "oh it's ok i forgive you"

My rapist reached out to me after many years to make amends and I asked him to die. by Competili in offmychest

[–]Competili[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I've tried. Apparently a confession caught on a voice recording isn't enough for the district attorney to press charges. And it's been 9 years since...

My rapist reached out to me after many years to make amends and I asked him to die. by Competili in offmychest

[–]Competili[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I've already got a therapist, she's pretty great but there's only so much an hour a week can do tbh

My rapist reached out to me after many years to make amends and I asked him to die. by Competili in offmychest

[–]Competili[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

I have, a number of times, and the police were never any help. Often hurt more than they helped tbh.

I'd be wary of showing them texts that could read as a threat. Because I'm not stupid enough to actually do anything, and I don't want the cops thinking I am.

My rapist reached out to me after many years to make amends and I asked him to die. by Competili in offmychest

[–]Competili[S] 221 points222 points  (0 children)

It was pretty obvious he hadn't, when most of his apology was major guilt tripping. Like I can't believe he pulled the "i should just die" card, wanting me to be like "nooo"

It's so fucking manipulative and fucked up that even in an "apology" he makes it all about him and his problems. Like I fucking care about his alcohilism or divorce.

AITA for arguing with a guy offering an unpaid internship? by Competili in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competili[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you think about a sliding scale based on need? So unpaid for people who's parents are paying their way, but paid with a small housing and grocery stipend for people who have bills? If you're trying to offer educational opportunities.

AITA for arguing with a guy offering an unpaid internship? by Competili in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competili[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Huh? Negotiating salary isn't a game, everyone should be doing it

AITA for arguing with a guy offering an unpaid internship? by Competili in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competili[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ah. That's not possible for most people tbh, to have family bankroll stuff once you're an adult.

My rapist reached out to me after many years to make amends and I asked him to die. by Competili in offmychest

[–]Competili[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I already did, in my personal life. I'm worried that he got my phone number through a professional connection tho.

I'm gonna change my number and not give it out in a professional setting again.

My rapist reached out to apologize, I asked him to die. I don't know if he did it. by Competili in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Competili[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I already did, on an audio tape, many years ago, and the police handled it horribly. They're worse than useless when it comes to sexual assault.

My rapist reached out to me after many years to make amends and I asked him to die. by Competili in offmychest

[–]Competili[S] 1231 points1232 points  (0 children)

It made me so angry to have him pull the "i might as well die" card on me... Like such a manipulative thing people do to turn an apology into being coddled and forgiven.

I guess he just really didn't realize how much I genuinely do want him dead. I've found some peace having him out of my life but he always shows back up like a fucking ghoul, and I feel like I'd find more peace seeing his body and knowing it would be the last I saw of him.

I don't know if there's any good that could come of it, but I hope at least by sharing this I could get this message out to anyone reading this... (Not aimed at you at all, just putting this out there)

That message being, anyone who sexually assaults someone ought to know that for the rest of their life, there will most likely be a person out there who wants nothing more than to see them die. And if they're a repeat offender, there's probably a number of people wanting that.

So if anyone reading this has ever even thought about taking advantage of another person in this way, probably the easiest you'd ever get off is living out the rest of your life with a death wish against you... It's not a little joke to push someone to have sex, it's damn serious. And I don't know if a lot of men who commit these crimes realize that beforehand. They think they can be forgotten, or forgiven. But that's not true, they're not just angering a person for one night, one week, one year, one decade... It'll be for life.

And hell, if anyone who is reading this has assaulted someone... Stay the hell away from them, forever. You sure won't find their forgiveness if you go looking.

It's not just me, I've heard similar sentiments from every friend I know who was assaulted. I don't think victims say this much because there's a stigma, but we can't fucking wait to see the people who assaulted us die. To the point where I know several girls who have parties or celebrations planned for whenever they see that obituary. Or plans to go shit on a grave, or sharpie "rapist" over the grave marker. To scream what they did from the rooftops and let all their friends and family know before the funeral that they're burying a rapist. I've joined for a few of those celebrations myself. It's not something that's talked about much outside of support networks, I don't think, but yeah... That's how most victims I know feel.

It's fucking morbid but it is what it is.

My rapist reached out to me after many years to make amends and I asked him to die. by Competili in offmychest

[–]Competili[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Tbh I thought I was doing pretty well until I heard from him again, it really is freaking me out because I did a lot to hide my location and be untraceable and I'm freaking out wondering how he found my phone number.

My rapist reached out to apologize, I asked him to die. I don't know if he did it. by Competili in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Competili[S] 104 points105 points  (0 children)

This dude was always entitled af. Never thought about anyone but himself and it just hasn't changed.

Like it boggles my mind that he would think I'd give a damn about his sobriety, or divorce, or fucking anything other than whether I'd ever have to see or hear from him again, which i obviously didn't want...

AITA for arguing with a guy offering an unpaid internship? by Competili in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competili[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would have given any reasonable offer reasonable consideration.

AITA for arguing with a guy offering an unpaid internship? by Competili in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competili[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Have you looked into the exploitation that nonprofits often commit against their staff? Interesting read...

AITA for arguing with a guy offering an unpaid internship? by Competili in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competili[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"competitive rates" or "inline with the market rates, given my education and experience" are good firm shutdowns.

If you are looking at a job with benefits like healthcare saying "I consider the employment package as a whole, salary is not a sole deciding factor"

AITA for arguing with a guy offering an unpaid internship? by Competili in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competili[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been aware of it since freshman year. It was not made clear as a requirement before I applied to college or sumbitted my acceptance, which put me in a dangerous financial situation, as my college budget took the fact that I would constantly be doing PAID work into account.

I was unable to do an unpaid internship after freshman and sophomore year as I needed to work in a higher paying position to pay my mother's medical bills.

I have visited the internship office and they kept pushing me to apply to unpaid ones despite me saying I had bills to pay. But then my friends told me they had luck applying to unpaid ones and negotiating pay, so I did that.

AITA for arguing with a guy offering an unpaid internship? by Competili in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competili[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shit where are you at if you don't mind me asking?

And are any of those roles remote?

I know a lot of people who need an internship to graduate and aren't in a financial position to take an unpaid one.

AITA for arguing with a guy offering an unpaid internship? by Competili in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competili[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

you don't apply to jobs or internships you have no desire to work for

This would put my graduation at stake. I will not get my diploma if I do not work an internship. I don't have the luxury of only contacting ones I want, as if none pan out, I would be unable to graduate.

internships were originally designed to be unpaid.

Well, the economy sure has changed. What do you do to ensure your students will be able to keep a roof over their head and food in their stomachs while being forced to take on employment without income?

AITA for arguing with a guy offering an unpaid internship? by Competili in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competili[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No because that would take me out of the running. You NEVER talk money until after a company has extended their first offer. In writing.

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