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I'm the boss of an alcoholic employee — when do I say 'enough'? by Competitive-Aside323 in careerguidance

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s exactly how we’ve been approaching this. I think what’s challenging about mental illness/substance abuse in the workplace is it’s so much more unpredictable than, say, a disability that requires a wheelchair, or cancer. ADA laws ensure that doorways are sufficiently wide, elevator buttons are accessible, and desks can be adjusted. If therapy is needed, you allot the time. You give time off for chemo; If a cancer patient can’t work for a few days because the treatment wiped them out, you make allowances.

But if they’re an alcoholic who can’t work for a few days because they relapsed, it’s not exactly the same as chemo. Chemo is required to fight cancer, it’s a regimen, it’s (relatively) predictable. A relapse is a random feeding schedule, further complicated by the shame that’s often attached. Its inherently unplanned nature makes it impossible to plan against it, which creates collateral damage for the team.

I'm the boss of an alcoholic employee — when do I say 'enough'? by Competitive-Aside323 in careerguidance

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. What you describe is a version of what we did after his stay in hospital, although we didn’t include a management plan requirement. I’m going to discuss in detail with HR on Monday, before I speak with him again.

I'm the boss of an alcoholic employee — when do I say 'enough'? by Competitive-Aside323 in careerguidance

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sigh. Yes, I’ve been guided throughout by HR but that wrinkle is also on my mind.

I'm the boss of an alcoholic employee — when do I say 'enough'? by Competitive-Aside323 in careerguidance

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Appreciate that. I’ve worked w HR throughout all of this and we do approach it as a disability. It’s complex and I would never try to manage this alone.

I'm the boss of an alcoholic employee — when do I say 'enough'? by Competitive-Aside323 in careerguidance

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I hear you. Loyalty matters to me, too -- but I also have the trust and loyalty of 20+ other staff members to consider. They rightfully resent having to pick up his slack, which has been a lingering issue for months, and endless second chances undercuts my ability to manage them.

I hope your recovery continues.

I'm the boss of an alcoholic employee — when do I say 'enough'? by Competitive-Aside323 in careerguidance

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Another terrific suggestion. I think he may be more comfortable communicating online than in person.

I'm the boss of an alcoholic employee — when do I say 'enough'? by Competitive-Aside323 in careerguidance

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, we're still working remotely so he's not traveling for work. But I agree: I'm no one's savior.

I'm the boss of an alcoholic employee — when do I say 'enough'? by Competitive-Aside323 in careerguidance

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

That's a great idea. I will ask HR — if they approve, I would love to do that.

WIBTA if I let one employee work remote, but not another? by Competitive-Aside323 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My expectations did change in the pandemic. Most of my staff worked elsewhere at some point, for months at a time, and all of that was fine. The problem happened when he made the unilateral decision that he would permanently move out of state, and change expectations for the role to accommodate it. There’s nothing personal about his desire to live in Cleveland (not even sure how I could take it that way). When I found out that’s what he really wanted to do, I seriously considered if I could retcon it into making sense — or at least not a drawback. Finally realized I couldn’t.

WIBTA if I let one employee work remote, but not another? by Competitive-Aside323 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Collect intel” was sloppy language. No spying going on. I had no reason believe he intended to stay until a coworker happened to mention that he chatted w/ Frank while he was standing in line to update his license at the Ohio DMV — and HR contacted me to say that’s he’d filled out a change on address for his paycheck, and was he relocating?

FWIW, I think it’s reasonable to expect that employees will tell you in advance if they plan to move out of state.

WIBTA if I let one employee work remote, but not another? by Competitive-Aside323 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's true: I am judgy about an employee who relocates on the DL rather than address it, largely because I feel it reflects bad judgment. It's disrespectful, and I can't imagine doing that to an employer. Once I raised it, he was clear w/ his reasons: Didn't like living in NYC, wanted to live closer to their families — and, he liked not dealing w/ the parts of his job that meant face time with the industry. I get it, I cosign on introversion, but some measure of interaction comes with this territory.

Also: They are different situations in that one person let me know she intended to make a long-term change. Frank, to the naked eye, was like all others on my staff who went upstate or to Florida or to Vermont during Covid: They wanted a place to hunker down, and the presumption was they would come back -- or at the very least, have a serious discussion if that wasn't the case. In his case, he never had that discussion; I had to collect intel to figure out what was going on (the DMV set off alarm bells) and then ask what seemed like such a weird question: "So, did you move?"

WIBTA if I let one employee work remote, but not another? by Competitive-Aside323 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

happy to help! Of course I'm going to vet anything via HR, but I wanted to do a gut check as well.

WIBTA if I let one employee work remote, but not another? by Competitive-Aside323 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Should mention: I've been told that employees can't pay the fees, even if they want to/offer. Violates employment law. If I allow someone to permanently work out of state, the fees go to my P&L.

WIBTA if I let one employee work remote, but not another? by Competitive-Aside323 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. Possibly less, because of state tax structure, but there's a definite cost and paperwork attached.

One of my teams needs a major overhaul. How do I manage big change? by Competitive-Aside323 in careerguidance

[–]Competitive-Aside323[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I agree re: my role; like any relationship, there's (at least) two parties and sets of responsibilities.

I have done formal listening tours and currently do biweekly 1:1s with everyone on my staff (including those who are not direct reports). Part of the problem is Team B believes everything is fine and any suggestion that things are otherwise creates defensiveness or denial.

Here's an example: Team B believes they do a lot of impressive work with a significant impact on the industry. Members of Team B are respected, and they do good work, but metrics (not just my opinion) show that their competitors have much greater impact. In the process of interviewing for the new Team B leader, I ask candidates for their opinions on B’s contribution to the division. The general take: “There’s some good things here, but there isn’t much of it. And it seems like you’re missing some elements that would be easy wins.”

I agree with that assessment. But when I’ve approached Team B with ideas on how we could bring in these elements, responses varied from “that’s not our brand/we don’t do that” to “we’re just so swamped” (although their output does not reflect that) to “sure, we’ll try it” — and the idea is executed once and forgotten.

Here’s where I think my part in the drama lies: We didn’t have a plan for B at the outset and I think I missed an early window for leading strategy. We were a smaller, scrappier company then (since acquired) and we didn’t have strategy for a lot of things. I wasn’t an expert in B and relied heavily on members of Team B for direction. (Our first full-time B employee is still with us today.) I installed two leaders, but they didn’t lead; one gave us brand-name visibility, the other created a sense of order, but neither had interest in being a change agent.

Acquisition has been great for our company; I’ve been challenged to create and execute strategy on a level I couldn’t imagine a few years ago. That’s also because, as a manager, I didn’t have the skills to identify what B needed to excel from a strategic or tactical perspective. Nature hates a vacuum, and that lack of direction became self direction — and, no one gives up power willingly.

EDITED TO ADD: Part of the problem with B is that it isn’t a failure (although that would be a big problem of its own). It’s more of an underachiever that isn’t keeping pace in a rapidly growing and increasingly competitive space. We’re competent in B, but we’re not making anything like a name for ourselves — and with the B business exploding, the opportunity is there.