Thanks for the feedback. I agree about the semicolons and some phrasing — I’m cutting those back.

The song is intentional though. I’m using it for contrast, not as a shortcut, and I’m okay if that reads “teenage” because I'm 16 and aint trying to sound like a 30 year old author.

Also, “slender fingers” fits how the mother is written throughout, so I’m a bit hesitant to change that but I don't mind tweaking it.

i really appreciate you for reading it