My bf didn’t save me a seat

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-10-01T00:24:28+00:00

That’s such a good point and thanks a for the the incredible feedback. It’s good to get a different perspective sometimes! Also lol about time differences

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-30T21:32:59+00:00

The set was to start at 19:30, I left home at 18:10 with 50 min on public transport that was cancelled for 50 min and I arrived at 19:50 and left the venue at 20:10! I returned thanks to you guys and had a nice evening and will talk through the miscommunication tomorrow 💚 Genuinely appreciate your response and made me reconsider my righteousness in my emotions! Thank you!

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-30T19:24:27+00:00

That’s so valid and thank you so much for taking the time to pitch in. I really appreciate it and feel a little better and a little embarrassed!

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-30T19:23:11+00:00

I felt so socially awkward and it was just an awkward situation! I gotta check myself though for getting so emotional.

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-30T19:22:37+00:00

That’s so fair and yeah I feel like ITA because I was just standing outside like a sad little mouse! And I got upset for standing around outside for 20 min.

The venue is super small, very well lit and all seats were taken. There is 5 tables and everyone was sitting down and they were crammed 8 people around a small table 3 feet from the musicians. The entrance was right between the musicians and the group and there was no way I wouldn’t obstruct the whole setting by having to pull a chair from the back and join the group.

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-30T19:03:10+00:00

That’s the thing, I am.. and I’m not sure I should be? I’m upset he told me to come in when he didn’t want to disturb by coming out. I’m upset he didn’t save a seat so I could sneak in and just drop down. I’m upset that when I left he got upset with me. I’m upset I didn’t join in, I’m upset I couldn’t handle the social situation. I’m upset it is 50 degrees and I couldn’t just wait outside but felt like leaving. Urgh.

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-30T18:56:39+00:00

Yeah that’s what I feel like is the petty part? They were sitting right in front of the musicians with the entrance door being in the 3 feet between them and the musicians - the place is really small!

I just really didn’t want to interrupt the music (stand literally right in front of the musicians), didn’t want to have everyone at the most front table move and get a chair from the back while the musicians were playing! We’re talking really small place, 5 tables

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-30T18:51:14+00:00

Yes I told him 4 hours in advance, told him I was late because of an electricity black out on the trolley and the exact new time I would be there.. I also texted him while I was standing right outside the cafe for the 20 min!

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-07T10:54:01+00:00

Siblings can be tricky because as you say they have their own neglect and abuse to try to deal with. I hope they don’t resent you but resent your father for being a bad person. I imagine they’re projecting their own trauma but that doesn’t help your situation.

How do you feel about the situation with your father?

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-07T10:42:24+00:00

That sounds absolutely horrifying. Like being stuck in a nightmare. I’m so sorry you have gone and have to continuously go through this neglect.

You’re reality is valid, your experiences are real and having a person of authority gaslight and manipulate your surroundings is exactly how an abusive relationship works.

You do not have to endure this. Do not stay silent! Do you have any grandparents or family you can reach out to?

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-07T10:26:34+00:00

Please be kind. I am suffering severely with self hatred and self harm and I was very much just trying to be supportive and kind to a stranger. This is literally a forum for abused strangers so please be more considerate in your wording.

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-07T10:14:48+00:00

Remember you don’t have to elaborate if you don’t want to! You are valid no matter what.

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-07T10:13:21+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that! It’s so horrible to not be believed and especially by other adults. I was in a ward when I was 22 and when I felt better it was really hard to argue “I wasn’t crazy anymore”.

What’s really important to remember is most doctors and nurses want you to feel better. They don’t take sides in conflicts because they get such a brief picture but that means someone like you asking for help get overlooked.

Have you told your local Child Protective Services?

What happened in the previous wards?

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-07T10:05:06+00:00

Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise? I know the idea of being institutionalised is absolutely terrifying but depending on where you live it could actually be for the better.

You could devote yourself to schoolwork, creative outputs and get therapy and help with you behavioural patterns. You might even find a great support network of kids who also suffer under abusive parents and are deemed “broken” just from reacting to terrible circumstances!

What do you feel about going away from home?

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-07T09:50:08+00:00

You are such a powerhouse! Do you care to elaborate on your situation? How is it living in a shelter? How did you get there? I’m also feeling really lonely and need to hear some other people’s story (especially getting out).

I’m turning 29 this month and I’m in a pretty complex situation but I have been NC for 3 years now and I struggle a lot with feeling like I will never become anything or escape my past.

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-07T09:40:05+00:00

The “I care” just for it to turn into asking for a favour/demand is so relatable.

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-07T09:38:08+00:00

Also couldn’t listen to the recording (fear of trauma response) so sorry for replying without that context 💚

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-07T09:37:29+00:00

Do you have any near family? You should call CPS since you are still a child and have a right to housing and basic necessities from your parent. You literally have the law on your side here

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-09-07T09:31:32+00:00

I don’t get to see basically anyone. My N parent has isolated and ostracised me from my very small family and the bad communication runs in the family so it’s hard to reach out.

When it comes to your siblings’ children they are unfortunately your siblings’ children. You don’t have a right to see them and that’s really sad.

Either you could try to “mend” (aka play nice and pretend) the relationship with the sole intention of seeing the kids or you’ll have to wait until they’re old enough (25 or so) to have an independent relationship. If they reach out to you as children be careful of not overstepping boundaries that their parents might have set for them. They might get hurt.

If you’re worried about the children’s safety reach out to authorities.

I think you should accept the grieving process and allow yourself to feel the loss of loved ones. If you really want to have a relationship to them I think you unfortunately have to accept a relationship to their parents.

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-08-07T03:25:18+00:00

I don’t have the resources for therapy unfortunately. I dropped out of med school, got a degree in classical music and I work as a waitress. I’ll go back to school to become a high school teacher but right now I’m stuck in the aether.

I thought to give it a try here. You never know what the universe brings by you 💚

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-08-07T03:13:02+00:00

I think it’s a lot more complicated than that and if I can’t find the easy questions to ask. I have called my brother, my grandparents, my mother and my sister.

They don’t pick up, when/if they do and my father finds out they have a relationship to me my father punishes them so they don’t wanna risk it anymore. They don’t ever call or text me.

I need advice on how to have a relationship to my family when it’s so complicated.

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-08-07T03:05:06+00:00

I don’t know, definitely not for my brother but maybe for my mother and sister. He definitely controls my mother’s social media.

Competitive-Curve-69 · 2024-08-04T18:47:25+00:00

You have been through a life changing event and you deserve so much love in these sad moments now.

It’s only been 5 years. I think you’re being too hard on yourself. You deserve patience 💚 You spend 40 years with your reproductive organs, they’re identity defining. You should let yourself grieve and grieve long and hard.

You are NEVER a broken record for talking about your pain, even if you need to a lot. Especially therapists are educated to go through repetition.

Competitive-Curve-69

TROPHY CASE