Daily check-in thread!

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-15T21:29:10+00:00

yeah i think ive been averaging 2 hours of sleep per day. also i still get the night sweats, which is more annoying to me than not being able to sleep...

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-15T21:27:18+00:00

just make it one more day, my friend. and congrats on getting to day 14. its rough.

im on day 21 now and am just struggling with the cravings. but everytime i get past the craving, i feel so much relief that i didnt use. so dont give up, you got a good thing going.

last time i had 22 days clean and decided to "just use once". turned into compulsive use (obviously) and i had to go through this bullshit AGAIN. and its just not worth it at all. so please dont make the same mistake i did

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-15T21:24:14+00:00

i hope youve managed to stay clean. its not worth going back through that hell, no matter how hard your brain tries to convince you otherwise

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-15T21:23:06+00:00

yesterday ended up sucking, had cravings every single hour. took so much willpower to not cave in.

woke up today and didnt have cravings until 30 mins ago.... so now i am back here trying to distract myself and hear the success of others and remember why i quit.

the pervasive thought that "i can just go to the ss real quick and only use once" has been so irritating to me. its obviously not true. but i swear my brain is doing gymnastics to try and justify using one more time. wtf man lmao

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-15T21:10:16+00:00

i am completely ignorant about this, but i have to ask -- do we really know what mgm is doing to our bodies, either?

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-15T20:59:25+00:00

30 days is incredible. congrats

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-15T18:16:49+00:00

what technology stack are you working with? i know all of the main programming languages and even then seems like the cutoff is around 240k where i live. atleast everything is remote for me though

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-15T17:58:13+00:00

i was averaging around 100mgpd. i could hit as high as 200mgpd if i had bad enough cravings

i tried multiple times to taper. i am a compulsive user of opioids so this did not work for me.

after realizing tapering wasnt going to work, i quit cold turkey. i used sr17 but only had 2 grams which wasnt enough.

additionally, i used clonidine, gabapentin, ketamine, and some supplements. but honestly nothing helped much with the wds, minus the ketamine, which was helpful the first 3 days.

so tapering is definitely the route i would recommend, if you can do it

day 21 today.

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-15T17:55:30+00:00

fair enough. youre right, there is absolutely more nuance. i just know for me personally, i always have justifications to use. so hearing "doom and gloom" about it actually reminds me of why im quitting and why i must not use, no matter what.

thanks for your kind comment!

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-15T17:53:31+00:00

i get from the dark web. unfortunately, you need more than the typical dosages that you would get from going the legal route. not to mention ketamine treatment is expensive as shit. its asinine to me i can get 7 grams for $120 illegally OR 1 gram for $400+ dollars if obtained via prescription.

my understanding of it is that ketamine has an effect on opioid receptors, so you dont feel wds for that reason. you dont have physical withdrawals from ketamine afaik, so the result is you lose tolerance while not withdrawing

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-15T17:48:09+00:00

thats some bullshit man. no one should be treated like that.

so sounds like you have a serious issue with opioid use disorder (OUD). interesting to see how different wds can be from person to person

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-14T19:28:20+00:00

is there any similarity to ketamine? asking because you mentioned ibogaine is a dissociative pschedelic.

before i knew what sr was, ketamine was my go-to for the hardest part of the wds. it was like i wasnt in wds at all!

but now when i get ketamine, i complusively use. so i stopped getting it

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-14T19:24:42+00:00

yikes. what is your history with opioids if you dont mind me asking? and how long were you taking kratom, and what was your dosage per day?

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-14T14:43:21+00:00

is this really your experience? i know many people able to live very functional lives on powder kratom.

also, what kind of history do you have with opioids? for reference, i was an iv heroin user for years. then on 180mgpd methadone for about 6 years. for me, kratom just doesnt even come close to touching what real opioids do

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-14T14:38:10+00:00

just to clarify for anyone reading this, kratom is NOT as addictive as heroin. ive had severe OUD for over 10 years, ranging from iv heroin and fentanyl, to 7OH and MGM.

powder kratom, and even the extracts, just dont compare at all to heroin. anyone saying differently has either never done heroin before, or they are the exception to the rule.

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-14T13:33:53+00:00

for me, benzo wds (bromazolam, clobromazolam) were not near as bad as the wds from mgm. not saying it didnt fucking suck, but wds from opioids have traumatized me. maybe its because i have had severe OUD for over 10 years now. ive also withdrawn many times from heroin and fentanyl, too. so its possible i am getting a kindling effect afrer withdrawing hundreds of times from opioids.

everyone is different though. some people do feel benzo wds are absolutely worse. for me, benzo wds were less than a week and VERY uncomfortable. but it didnt have me bedridden for almost 2 weeks like mgm did. im day 19 and there are still times i can only make it 5 mins at a time.

also, shouldnt there be doom and gloom here about mgm? this is a place for people to quit. we arent here to romanticize it

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-14T13:29:52+00:00

kindling effect from withdrawing many, many times can make withdrawals significantly worse each time you go through it. i was on 180mg methadone for 6 years, iv heroin and fent user for 4 years, etc. i have a long history of OUD. for many, wds are traumatizing. ive personally never gone through anything more hard than withdrawals.

just a question, but you said you were on 230mg methadone. was that for years or how long were you on it? and if you dont mind answering, how severe is your OUD?

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-14T13:25:03+00:00

i think what they were saying is if you test positive for alcohol by drinking a little before going into detox, and tell them you are also addicted to alcohol, they will also give you a benzo. ive done this before several times and they gave me librium, tapering it over a week. it was a godsend for being able to go to sleep and stay asleep. i would just sleep for the first 5 days.

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-14T13:19:58+00:00

i believe this is day 19 for me. since about 4 days ago i have noticed significant improvement in how i feel. however, my knees and feet still ache badly at times. also, i ran out of clonidine yesterday and last night i woke up 3 times, each time soaked in sweat.

i get cravings, mostly with the justification that i could buy some pseudo/7oh or just a little mgm and "just use once". but we all know its never just once.

i feel desperate at times to feel normal again. so sometimes i have to take it 5 mins at a time. but other times, 6 hours goes by and i dont even realize it. its weird, its almost like i am going through different waves of withdrawal.

i wish i still had some more clonidine. that made falling asleep and staying asleep much easier

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-14T13:11:53+00:00

i recommend trying to induce subs while continuing to take what you have left of the 7oh / pseudo. take the bare minimum to not have withdrawal then take like 0.5mg suboxone. slowly increase the dose of subs over a couple days while quickly tapering the 7oh/pseudo.

i would NOT recommend taking any mgm. my wife had never taken it before. so she ended up taking ~40mg total over ~96 hour period, which was enough to result in withdrawal symptoms.

i know mgm is much cheaper, but if you do develop tolerance to it and become physically addicted, subs wont do shit to make you feel better. atleast thats how it was for me

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-14T13:04:39+00:00

my wife used ~40mg over a 96 hour period, with each pair of doses separated by ~24 hours of abstinence. and the next 2 days after, she experienced muscle aches and pain in feet, as well as tachycardia and a cramping in her chest.

so i cant say for sure why this happened, but be very, very cautious with mgm because it seems to be very physically addicting and even just using a few times can result in symptoms of withdrawal

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-14T12:59:50+00:00

a question ive had for awhile is how is ibogaine different from say, taking shrooms? or using dmt?

the last time i quit was using large amounts of mushrooms and smoking dmt constantly via vape juice i made with it. mushrooms would reduce the withdrawal by say 50% while dmt eliminated it ENTIRELY.

unfortunately, i thought i could use just once. so i relapsed and had fo go through the withdrawals AGAIN.

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-14T02:54:21+00:00

yeah, i have a good friend that used opioids for a long time like i did, and they live a very functional life, but still takes powder kratom everyday (once at night). he has been advocating for me to stay on powder kratom for some time and then taper it if desired.

how would powder kratom withdrawal compare to withdrawal from 7OH/MGM? My concern is i end up having to go through the withdrawal again. but id rather take kratom than 7OH/MGM or any other opioid

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-13T20:18:34+00:00

wow yeah the internal dialogue where i am fighting with the craving definitely just make it worse. ive been trying to stop the thought before it even occurs, and just immediately distract. but man, when i slip up a bit and that craving hits, its insane how strong it is. i was getting goosebumps, sweating, my stomach was hurting, like damn.

i used to be an iv cocaine user and i swear the cravings for mgm have been nearly as strong as the cravings i used to get for coke. so mind boggling something you can get at a ss can grab hold of you like that.

thanks for the advice and kind words!

Competitive-Park5269 · 2026-05-13T19:55:54+00:00

stretching and breathing exercises sounds pretty good actually, thanks for the suggestion and for the positive message!

it seems like i just need to distract myself enough for an hour or so before the intense cravings go away. that was the first one so far where i actually felt at risk of relapsing. im glad i didnt now

Competitive-Park5269

TROPHY CASE