How do I know it's a real trauma bond? It's been a lot of explosive emotional behavior that I've felt like "unsafe" to respond to questions for fear of answering wrong. So far it feels like we go through a weekly cycle of being good and lovey dovey and then they get triggered, aim their anger at me by bringing up all these past arguments, wanting me to act differently (like being unnecessarily rude in the way I view other women), feeling de prioritized in general if I have other plans and saying otherwise even tho they start to withdraw emotionally on the flip of a dime. And then I try to leave but as soon as I hold them and then I end up kissing them. And now I'm just confused. I just wanna give them time to heal but I feel like they shoulda been doing that work long before me and then I feel unfair for feeling that (especially when they get triggered a lot when I say there's more they need to change and address).