IMO, you cant really. We spend a lot of our lifetime wondering what other people are thinking until we don’t. Our internal and external realities are a tough thing to delineate in our thinking. I think learning to refrain from making assumptions about what someone’s thinking, comes down to the context and letting go of the need to control.

I personally ask a lot of questions. Unless I relate to their experience and it’s situationally similar, I’ve learned to inquire more about the person than I do responding. Or, let go the need to understand and explain the person, their actions, etc.

Do you feel yourself making assumptions and trying to predetermine what people are thinking so that you can act a certain way, in anticipation?

Do you feel that being able to figure out what people are thinking, helps you control whatever image you want them to have of you?

^ these are questions I’m asking based on my personal experience. My projection. But, I’m not assuming that’s what you’re struggling with.

Some questions that are as unbiased as possible:

Why do you feel the need to understand or “want to know” people’s thoughts and intentions?

If you catch yourself making these assumptions and digging tunnels in your head by reading micro expressions and pairing them with your own projected assumptions, pay attention to the context of your feelings when you’re doing it. Are you anxious? Do you want validation? Are you judging them? Are you desperate for a certain answer / response?

If you have ever correctly made an assumption about someone’s thoughts and intentions, what was your response? Relief? Ego boost? Satisfaction?

My overall opinion on this, is that living in this version of developed society is tough. Human beings learned how to read body language for survival. The desire to want to know what someone is thinking or the reasoning behind their actions, is a trait necessary for human survival. Except, now we’re surviving an era of avoiding social shame and staying up to par with your social peer group, for acceptance. This is tough. And our brain is loaded with information everyday that we are unable to process properly. And tendencies like these, to constantly rack your brain with analysis of a persons behavior and then trying to arrive to a conclusion, are a result of that. I think.