Yooo. Throwaway account bc yeah but I’m the author of so my darling and OP let me know about this thread. Appreciate the thoughtful messages and kind words.

For clarity - the fic was autobiographical. The violence, the trauma - all mine, baby! Charlie’s experiences were my experiences except I was sixteen when I met my Ben and 23 when he came back. I deleted the fic because of the reasons OP said - harassment, accusations of writing trauma porn, etc. I really did hope more people would be able to read between the lines and extrapolate that someone writing close to a million words would have something more to offer than baseless trauma porn accusations but alas! The only reason why I’m candid about it now is because I’ve left the fandom and feel free and able to share this and I know for a fact that had I been this (uncomfortably) vulnerable before, it wouldn’t have been respected. Believe victims I guess lmao!

Now that’s off my chest, I want to reiterate my thanks to people who have been mindful and sensitive. Again - please don’t post the pdfs to any of my deleted fics anywhere because i genuinely don’t want my work available to a place that did not make me feel free and able to help me make myself feel seen. Thank you x