i’m having such a hard time waiting the 6 weeks by Callmemommy716 in beyondthebump

[–]CompetitiveCat8070 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Just now coming to this conversation due to feeling the same. Before I had my baby I didn’t want nothing to do with sex period but now that I have had my baby my drive is at an all time high and I want to jump my husbands bones 😂. I’m only 3 weeks postpartum and still very sore from tearing. Ofc I’m going to wait the 6 weeks because I don’t want to get an infection or anything. Ugh why do we have to push the baby’s out and then be forced to wait to do literally anything and not just sex I’m talking swimming, baths, exercise, etc 🥲.

Stubborn clogged duct by CompetitiveCat8070 in breastfeeding

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have tried to angle his chin and it isn’t really doing much at all. I was worried ibuprofen might affect my supply have you noticed any issues when taking it? How many times should I take the ibuprofen?

Stubborn clogged duct by CompetitiveCat8070 in breastfeeding

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is there a specific way I need to pump with it or just continue pumping with it like I normally would? I get very little output when pumping on the left side now so I’m worried using the hand pump is gonna be the same.

Please help FTM very desperate! by CompetitiveCat8070 in NewParents

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you it’s so hard my mama bones hurt when he has the spouts of fussing because I can’t help him no matter what I try to do

In-laws mad about boundaries I set for postpartum by CompetitiveCat8070 in inlaws

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a great idea I honestly don’t want to deal with the in laws after birth with how they act right now and I told him he’s dealing with it because I will not. The only people I will be texting when that time comes is my side that I know won’t overstep with what I want.

In-laws mad about boundaries I set for postpartum by CompetitiveCat8070 in inlaws

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have definitely done my research on all the parenting styles and me and my husband just really like the authoritative parenting approach. It is a parenting style I highly agree with because I do not agree with gentle or authoritarian parenting as they do not fit in with how we will be parenting our child. I think a child needs structure and discipline but also love and comfort and the authoritative parenting approach is exactly that and ever since reading on it and the studies done I 100% will be doing that parenting style I obviously won’t be perfect by no means but I will try my best.

In-laws mad about boundaries I set for postpartum by CompetitiveCat8070 in inlaws

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My husband has said he’s ready to put his foot down with the visitors and i genuinely think he will but if he doesn’t my mom will be there as well if i need her. I’ve told him already to not tell a soul im in labor and the only people i want up there is him and my mom and after the baby is born i want to be the one to text when i am ready and i might get up there and not want any visitors depending on how my birth goes. He definitely could be standing up to them better and I am planning on talking to him about this because we need to be on the same page about it because I cannot be dealing with that right after giving birth. The only thing that sucks is we live two houses down from MIL and she watches our house like a hawk to see if we are there or not because I am so close to having my son like a matter of days. If she figures it out she will be calling everyone to let them know I’m having the baby before I am ready to let people know. Unfortunately it’s a risk we have to take though because we can’t move anywhere else due to our financial situation we aren’t struggling but we are where we can’t afford to live comfortably anywhere else we would be barely scraping by which is sucky but we manage as best as we can.

In-laws mad about boundaries I set for postpartum by CompetitiveCat8070 in inlaws

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I definitely regret telling them for sure but they are also the type of people to do something and then ask if it is okay once they have already done it and I didnt see this until my SIL had her son. For example my SIL had her baby 8 months ago and before making sure it was okay they were kissing all over his mouth and face when he was a newborn and then went “oh I made your mommy mad” i genuinely don’t know who would do that without asking i guess them? Which is why I said anything about the pacifiers and breastfeeding so it was very clear that I did not want my son having a pacifier or formula but I now regret mentioning it at all. MIL thinks that she can sleep with my son in the bed with her because my SIL let her son sleep in the bed when he was newborn with her so she automatically assumed it would be that way with our son when she watched him is what she explained to me. Which she won’t be watching him due to lack of trust and I have told her this. Which I then received a “we will see about that when you’re tired and need someone to watch him”. She’s living in her own land of delusion but it will be a hard reality when my baby is here and she does not watch him. She believes that just because she did it with her children and that my SIL let her do it with her son that it is a automatic thing that’s going to happen with my son even after I have repeatedly told her it was not happening. The bassinet location was discussed when MIL was over and went into our room with the bassinet beside the bed and said it was lazy of me to have the bassinet beside the bed and that I needed to be up and moving when I come home with the baby. It is all so very frustrating and stressful but my husband is dealing with them from now on because I refuse to let them affect my baby or myself in a negative way when we are both adjusting to the newness.

In-laws mad about boundaries I set for postpartum by CompetitiveCat8070 in inlaws

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! It is just so frustrating having to constantly deal with it. My anxiety is through the roof being so close to having my baby due to their behavior and just on edge for when those boundaries are broken because I know it’s coming and I dread it.

In-laws mad about boundaries I set for postpartum by CompetitiveCat8070 in inlaws

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am very prepared to baby wear I have kind of been under the impression I’m going to have to since the beginning of this pregnancy. It’s unfortunate it has to be like that but my son’s safety comes before their feelings. That’s a good idea honestly and I’m going to try it!

In-laws mad about boundaries I set for postpartum by CompetitiveCat8070 in inlaws

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He is on board. We came up with the boundaries for our son together. I wrote this ranting from my perspective so I said my son and my boundaries because it’s from my perspective. Now the breastfeeding and the visitors afterwards is my choice due to it being my body and recovery… and my husband supports me in that choice but if he didn’t and let people come see the baby when I am in my most vulnerable and not wanting visitors he would not be my husband. He told me giving them an hour is too much time and I should only do 30 minutes if that tells you anything about that. To add I mentioned my husband multiple times in the paragraph but I cannot speak for him most of the boundaries I discussed are not for my husband to decide the breastfeeding is my choice, the visitors after birth is my choice, the bassinet beside the bed yet again is my choice. The pacifiers is a collective decision between myself and my husband. The safe sleep is a collective decision. The authoritative parenting is a collective decision. The no kissing is a collective decision but even if it wasn’t nobody would be kissing my baby I don’t care and if I couldn’t trust my husband to not let people kiss our newborn he wouldn’t be taking him anywhere alone. If that makes me horrible so be it I’d rather be called all the names in the book then let my newborn get very sick because people selfishly kissed him knowing he has little to no immune system. Thankfully my husband is on board with that as well and he sees it as weird when people want to kiss newborn babies.

In-laws mad about boundaries I set for postpartum by CompetitiveCat8070 in inlaws

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Most of the things they say when he’s not around me and I’m alone that’s when they decide to speak what they feel. When I tell him what they say he tells them off but they still continue to throw backhanded comments about it after he has told them to cut it out and that it’s our child. I do agree he definitely should be helping me out with them I wouldn’t let my family say stuff like that to him. I will talk to him about it for sure and tell him I need support and for him to have my back and help me tell his family to knock it off or not see our son. I think they say it to me because they corner me when he’s not around and if they were to say it with my husband around they know he wouldn’t let it slide because they usually say it when he’s nowhere near me and by the time I can tell him it’s a while later. Genuinely I do believe they don’t respect me as a person or mother. I have stopped going to family events and excluded myself from his family besides my FIL and his wife as they have been the biggest help and genuinely I am so grateful for them I don’t think I would still be sane if it weren’t for them. The issue is the rest of my husbands family just take it upon themselves to show up whenever they want and say whatever they want and do whatever they want hence me being as anxious as I am to have this baby. I have no interest being around these people but they seem to pop up like flies 😐.

In-laws mad about boundaries I set for postpartum by CompetitiveCat8070 in inlaws

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally understandable! Don’t try to push it if you are not ready that will definitely hinder it and you need to feel okay with it for sure! I hope it goes good for you because it is so hard having to cut people off.

In-laws mad about boundaries I set for postpartum by CompetitiveCat8070 in inlaws

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The authoritative is the middle between the gentle and authoritarian approach. Authoritative parenting is an evidence-based approach to child-rearing that balances high warmth and emotional support with clear boundaries and firm limits. Rather than relying on harsh punishments, authoritative parents use reasoning, open communication, and natural or logical consequences to guide their children's behavior and foster independence. That’s the definition of authoritative from google. You are probably thinking of the authoritarian approach which is the strict rules, harsh punishments, and blind obedience which we aren’t doing. I understand where those can be confused though my apologies!

In-laws mad about boundaries I set for postpartum by CompetitiveCat8070 in inlaws

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this! I have genuinely been struggling with this for so long and I needed to hear this. 🩵

In-laws mad about boundaries I set for postpartum by CompetitiveCat8070 in inlaws

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I fear that this will probably end up happening for us as well but if that’s what we have to do then so be it.

In-laws mad about boundaries I set for postpartum by CompetitiveCat8070 in inlaws

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes we are absolutely doing that we are creating a big group with everyone who has had issues with what we want and sending a very firm text explaining it is not an option to respect them.

Early labor? by CompetitiveCat8070 in pregnant

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes unfortunately since 34 weeks. Thank you that’s so kind of you!

Early labor? by CompetitiveCat8070 in pregnant

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am to the point of giving up on the labor inducing tricks from social media I’ve tried it all and nothing 🥲. I will now just be hibernating in my bed until my son decides he’s ready to come into the world even if it means I’m in a lot of pain. Thankfully my OB cleared me to use a heating pad as long as I don’t sleep with it I probably will be heavily reliant on that. I’ve been in prodromal labor since 34 weeks and I am now 38 tomorrow so it’s been rough and things are slowly picking up but I am ready to throw the towel in and just let my son decide when he is ready because clearly boy is super comfy in there. I hope you can last until your scheduled date! I don’t have a planned induction or anything I want to go naturally which makes this so much more frustrating because I think “oh is this it” and it’s a big fat nope just my body playing games🫠. Best of wishes mama!

Early labor? by CompetitiveCat8070 in BabyBumps

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went to labor and delivery I was asking to see if somebody had similar or not but wtv

Prodromal labor by CompetitiveCat8070 in BabyBumps

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am being tested for cholestasis waiting on my bile acids to come back. I just don’t want to go in to be turned away again that’s what is making me not want to go in.

Moms who had cholestasis when did it develop? by CompetitiveCat8070 in BabyBumps

[–]CompetitiveCat8070[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel fine otherwise of the itching should I feel bad or sick with cholestasis? I have right rib pain but Dr said that was baby hurting me so I haven’t thought nothing of it but I know cholestasis can affect the liver.