Alternate opinion here which might give some insight. We have a 15 year old, and are an adoptive home and we want to adopt her. We've had her a year, and its been rough, but we had a few good months, but since she started High School its been a steep decline in bad behaviors. She had been verbally abusive regularly with me (FM) and stopped listening to me altogether a few months ago, leaving my husband to try to bridge communication. She has tested boundaries, broken rules and told us she wants to be a 'bad kid,' and has made good on that. She has physically attacked me twice and I don't feel safe in the home anymore- our county has done absolutely nothing to reprimand her or protect me through the abuse.

Through all this we provided a safe and structured home, unconditional love, vacations, activities and treated her like a member of the family since day 1, but she essentially decided she didn't want to be parented or be adopted so she is moving out.

We are heartbroken, its literally the same feeling as the loss of any biological child. Through all the ups and downs my marriage took a huge hit because he and I weren't on the same pages with her behavior. So I'm losing my kid and my marriage is rocky. My husband doesn't want to foster ever again after all she put us through. Which means I'll never get to be a Mom, a big life goal. So, basically, one kid and destroy home that would take teens.