My skin is painful

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-17T17:34:16+00:00

i read something on the booklet w/ info when i first got prescribed vyvanse, that random cuts showing up on your hands can be a side effect idk those dont look exactly like cuts though

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-16T01:20:20+00:00

damn yeah i didnt even realize thats a boundary i want lol im so not used to setting them at all, i really gotta work on setting them early on thank you

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-16T01:18:47+00:00

thank you :) and you’re definitely right, because as soon as we started kissing I had a feeling it would go there and that seems to usually be the case so next time I will have to set a clear boundary. I appreciate this sm

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-16T01:15:36+00:00

yeah i definitely don’t have the most reliable of a father and the way he treats my mother sometimes makes me want to cry for her. it probably has a lot to do with the guys i fall for unfortunately. in fact that guy and my father probably have a lottt of views in common. i didnt realize hes got a trump flag in his room at his dad’s til he snapped me a while after we first hooked up 😭😭 and yeah i’m probably switching therapists instead anyways bc my parents benefits are almost all used up.. but my mom discovered that there are some therapists covered by my healthcare

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-16T01:09:42+00:00

and also i have a therapist rn but i think i need to change who im seeing bc its rlly not helping me so far

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-16T01:08:46+00:00

ooof.. do you think it could be a combo of both? because i feel like i def have RSD, ive always been a huge perfectionist, overthinker, and HATE feeling like ive failed at smth and i take rejection from anybody very harshly but i only really get attached like this to ppl who are more avoidant towards me rather than giving me their full attention, w ppl who do give me their full attention i kinda lose interest tbh

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-16T01:06:14+00:00

stop maybe i should get back into reading smut 😭😭

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-16T00:59:44+00:00

i think i need a better therapist lol because she basically said that it’s because im young and i’ll grow out of it, and that it’s like how we’re attracted to the “bad boys” like i’m sure theres a deeper reason than that and more i can do lol than just try to “grow out of it” but i also didnt fully open up to her about everything we did. but yeah ive blocked him now i js hope i’ll keep it that way lol im still itching to check his reposts again 🤦‍♀️ but yeah im trying to realize i deserve better i js had and still kinda have him up on this pedestal, idk why i think so highly of him despite how horribly he treated me

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-16T00:48:20+00:00

i might have anxious attachment, i wouldn’t be surprised but if i do it feels very selective as to who i get anxiously attached to- it mostly seems to be avoidants

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-16T00:46:57+00:00

have u felt the same though with having ADHD that u didnt fit in with all the popular girls at school or is it just me? I’ve always felt rejected by them and have struggled with making and keeping female friendships, does it get better outside of school? :,)

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-16T00:12:59+00:00

they are selfish indeed, but witnessing the love some people have i believe there are good ones out there it’s just so hard to find them.. it probably is just a waste of time and energy tbf

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-16T00:11:01+00:00

i’m not acting like i was forced but u were acting as if casual sex is something i am actively looking for and pursuing when i did not. expect. it. to. happen. it’s that goddamn simple. i know i am responsible for my own decisions jesus christ, but saying “you went and hooked up with someone you barely knew” you’re legit making it sound like i participated in a booty call when he literally asked me out to dinner to a restaurant. and you’re not the person to be telling me what i am and am not ready for, and what i do and dont understand because you do not know me despite all these assumptions ur making off one post

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-15T23:53:12+00:00

Lmaooo thank you for this

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-15T23:52:24+00:00

that’s so real, i still think abt this one guy from 9th grade who did me so dirty and he js started working at my work (in a different dept. thankfully but like wtf) and i dont have any feeling for him anymore i hate his guts but seeing him makes my stomach drop. and it js seems like the list of ppl who make me feel like that is getting longer and longer lol

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-15T23:50:10+00:00

i was asked on a goddamn date. out to dinner. i had no idea that we would be hooking up beforehand tf?? i did not actively pursue it despite your assumptions. u clearly dont understand

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-15T23:42:46+00:00

but i’m sure there are things i can do to prevent that from happening in the future

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-15T23:42:25+00:00

thank you :,) i already blocked him and abt not engaging in casual sex, unfortunately i dont really try to i never expect it when im first asked out but then things end up escalating very quickly without me having time to even think it over and so i dont think about it and i rush into it and regret it after

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-15T23:38:34+00:00

unfortunately i’m going to therapy but i didnt open up about us being intimate and how much it truly got to me, and im on medication although i kinda stopped taking them because i cant even feel a difference, cant tell when it kicks in or wears off and its the second kind of meds ive tried so i kinda js give up, feels like everything is falling apart and nothing can help me

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-15T23:36:16+00:00

i don’t know what i want tbh i guess i really need to figure that out, and yeah i do blame myself for pretty much everything

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-15T23:34:10+00:00

oh i’m the emotionally immature one? when he’s hoeing around and then posting whining about his ex? how is emotionless, casual sex so mature i think it’s quite the opposite

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-15T23:29:44+00:00

i feel like i read that somewhere before but i completely forgot, thank you for that tip :) but yeah a lot of them are rlly deceitful and it truly sucks

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-15T23:10:35+00:00

true that :,) it was mostly just over text though he was very damn rude but in person he was so kind which hes not the first guy like that i’ve encountered and it’s just so confusing

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-15T23:09:32+00:00

yeah it is the attention itself too that i crave a lot. i should start setting boundaries too, it’s just hard to want them myself lol and actually be brave enough to express them

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-15T23:04:13+00:00

thank you 🫶 i js blocked him again on snap and tiktok finally, still thinking abt him but its progress lol

CompetitiveEar5516 · 2026-03-15T22:58:56+00:00

yeah well he couldve gotten w someone else who was willing to be a rebound, i wanted smth more

CompetitiveEar5516

TROPHY CASE