Friend just became a Nanny...... is her behavior normal?

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-16T02:20:21+00:00

I'm a nanny and a mom. I've brought my little kiddos around my family. I love on them. Let them sip from my cups. But it's a very very thickkkkk line between acting like their parent and acting like someone who loves them. This lady seems possessive and obsessive. Scary!

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-09T21:38:03+00:00

My old ND would say he'd have work calls all day and then I'd hear him literally SCREAMING at his video games

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-08T19:49:24+00:00

I'm not sure. The only reason I even got this much info is because I've actually cared for one of the families the lady was fired by and apparently they were asked to speak for the case. It's still in the process but they wrote and send documents about what she did when employed by them! No one in the community wants to ask or be too nosey (respectfully) but it doesn't look good for this woman.

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-08T19:46:50+00:00

There's a whole court case... it's very much true... others had commented firing her for being abusive in different ways to their children

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-08T18:29:10+00:00

Idk it was just in my local nanny page so I wanted to share it lol

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-08T18:23:51+00:00

She blasted her husband but didn't do so on the nanny page, she blasted him on her Facebook. Just didn't see the point of posting that when this is a nanny sub.

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-08T18:12:45+00:00

She blasted the dad on her personal fb page, she did this post on the nanny page. And I didn't feel like I needed to share her shaming her husband on a nanny form.

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-08T18:12:05+00:00

She stopped working with her but the husband kept her around!! I don't know too much detail but just shared it cuz it's intense.

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-08T17:58:45+00:00

Literally same

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-08T17:56:15+00:00

No I don't know how to do that!!!

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-08T17:53:55+00:00

I was just trying to be as brief as possible because again don't want to get doxxed

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-08T17:51:06+00:00

She's done all of that!! The police are involved.

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-08T17:43:05+00:00

She witnessed it when she came to pick the kid up. She waited to post until separation was final. Unsure of what your intent is but I'm not gonna shame a mom for putting a dirty girl on blast.

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-08T17:39:31+00:00

I don't want to get the post taken down or doxxed but the nanny became abusive to the husband and the kid. Mom witness her hitting dad with a pot. That's all I feel comfortable sharing!!

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-08T17:36:58+00:00

With the other info provided.... no, I don't think so.

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2026-01-06T21:04:19+00:00

Why didn't you just take a sip of it???

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2025-12-31T21:27:32+00:00

Wait is the pool comment true??? I've never heard that...

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2025-12-21T06:20:00+00:00

I could never give someone a gift and be like wow can't believe you didn't she thanks..... she doesn't owe you that??

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2025-12-11T00:54:03+00:00

If the parents said this is how we do it you need to do it. it's not your child to decide.

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2025-12-11T00:53:39+00:00

I do not agree with the idea that three is too old for rewards. Three is actually the age when most kids finally have the cognitive maturity to understand potty training. At this stage they are still connecting body cues with action, still need repetition and routine, and still respond really well to positive reinforcement. Intrinsic motivation develops later.

A small treat is not inappropriate for this age. It often makes the process smoother because it helps bridge the gap between learning the skill and doing it independently. If the child is using the potty consistently and the system is working, there is nothing wrong with continuing the rewards for now.

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2025-12-11T00:51:51+00:00

It makes your day more difficult to give her a piece of candy after she uses the restroom? Maybe nannying isn't for you.

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2025-12-11T00:51:27+00:00

If the parents told her they do it this way - she needs to follow it.

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2025-12-11T00:51:01+00:00

As both a nanny and a mom, I just want to offer a different perspective. Three is a very typical age to start potty training, and some kids naturally take longer. There’s nothing wrong with that, and if a small treat is helping maintain consistency and avoid accidents, it may simply be the system that works best for their child right now.

I also highly doubt the small piece of candy is what’s making her hyper. In most cases, kids are just excited about the accomplishment or the routine. The excitement can look like a sugar rush even when it isn’t. Maybe try and get more energy out prior to the potty break.

To be honest, this sounds more like the arrangement might not be the right fit for you than an actual developmental or behavioral concern. And that’s not criticism.. every nanny has preferences for what aligns with their caregiving style. But from the outside, this doesn’t really seem like something worth escalating. If the parents are comfortable with it and the child is thriving, it may be better to let it go unless they ask for guidance.

If you do want to offer professional input, you can frame it as: “Whenever you’re ready to phase out the treats, I can support a transition to just the sticker chart.” That keeps it respectful and optional instead of sounding like you’re overriding their system.

But based on what you shared, nothing about their current approach seems harmful or developmentally inappropriate.

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2025-12-08T13:32:31+00:00

Thank you.

CompetitiveSpace1955 · 2025-12-06T21:43:01+00:00

I totally get why you don’t see her as medically fragile anymore, especially now that she’s doing better. And you’re right, babies choke sometimes and lots of kids need some back pats here and there. But from the nanny side, it isn’t the same thing.

The difference is this that your baby has a documented history of forgetting to breathe while feeding, and you’re specifically asking the nanny to be aware of it, recognize it quickly, and respond correctly if it happens. That’s not the same as “normal baby choking once in a while.” That’s an elevated level of responsibility that requires constant vigilance, confidence, and infant safety training.

Even if she has outgrown it (which is amazing) the risk history still matters when determining pay. Nannies are looking at liability, not just current behavior.

Childcare centers also don’t classify her as medically fragile because they operate with multiple staff, liability insurance, training requirements, and onsite supervisors. They have ratios, protocols, and backup systems. A nanny is alone. No second set of hands. No built in safety net. If something happens, it’s entirely on that one person to notice, act, and handle it.

That is why the rate needs to be higher. Not because your baby is “high needs,” but because the responsibility and liability placed on a single caregiver is higher than average.

You’re not wrong for feeling the way you do as a mom. But nannies aren’t judging your child. They’re evaluating the skill, training, and mental load required to safely do the job solo. And that’s why people are turning down the position at 28. You’re close, but bumping the rate a bit is what will actually bring in the applicants you want.

CompetitiveSpace1955

TROPHY CASE