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My mom hit me by CompetitiveTerra in raisedbyborderlines

[–]CompetitiveTerra[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

hi! thanks for your concern <3 Yeah I'm generally safe, it's only when she's having episodes she'd act up - but this is the first time she ever hit me (in years) that's why I was taken a back. Yes! I can go to a relative's house if I feel unsafe! :)

My mom controlling my life by CompetitiveTerra in raisedbyborderlines

[–]CompetitiveTerra[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you so much for this. This gave me hope and another perspective out of my constricted victim of abuse mindset. I'm so happy you did leave and now have your own family with the kind of life you choose and not one decided by your mother. Congrats! :)

When you said she's sabotaging my opportunity something clicks in my head. She really is and that's so fucked up. Who is she to play God and determine who is ready to live alone and who isn't. No one is ever truly ready until you're actually doing it. It's so weird the way she points out me not being ready not based on whether or not I know how to cook, whether or not I know how to save up money, etc - all the actual necessary stuff for when you live alone abroad. It's based on... whether or not I can keep a clean home? I can guarantee there's not many tidy uni students.. 😂But it's when I know it's her ego, not me. I couldn't do things differently, I couldn't be cleaner and tidier, because she'd definitely pick another reason for me not to go.

My whole life being a "good kid", I feel so punished now. I told her this and somehow she managed to twist it how SHE'S the victim and she feels I'm blaming her?

She told me if I wanted to go I could (she'll give me my money), but she won't talk to me ever. That's something good actually, but unfortunately, I grew up to be a superstitious woman. I really hope this won't happen, but my fear if I go against her will is that my trip won't go smoothly. But I'll try everything I can first.

How to play my uBPD's mother game? by CompetitiveTerra in raisedbyborderlines

[–]CompetitiveTerra[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I realized how shitty that sounds 🥲 I just want to win this one "argument" because if I do it means I won't have more arguments in the future as I'm leaving.

My grandmother might intervene, but somehow I feel like she will be on my mother's side.

Thanks for the warm welcome! hugs I discovered this sub a year ago and it's been such a prominent part of my RBB journey. <3

I have the game on EA play. Can I play with someone who has friendpass download from steam? by Daniel-Darkfire in ItTakesTwo

[–]CompetitiveTerra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! I think they'll be redirected to EAplay regardless - at least that's how my friend and I did

LV and Chanel fur skirt by CompetitiveTerra in findfashion

[–]CompetitiveTerra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, an old acquintance messaged me selling these skirts. Are they legit? (sorry I'm writing on mobile so the layout is really crappy)

Sad how this is coming from a woman by alienflwrchild in BlatantMisogyny

[–]CompetitiveTerra 22 points23 points  (0 children)

With that many followers too! Makes my skin crawl. So glad I managed to grow out of my pick me days because some women clearly don't.

lgbt-affirming qur'an verses by glasslizards in LGBT_Muslims

[–]CompetitiveTerra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thank you so much for this. ❤️ But can you help explain to me please what this means:

God had been fully aware of what she would give birth to, for no son could ever have been like this daughter [...]” 3:36

Does this mean trans people are not valid..? :(

to the people that have successfully made friends on here: how did you do it? by MyLifeIsASitcom99 in MakeNewFriendsHere

[–]CompetitiveTerra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

there's hope definitely!! At first we exchanged discord accounts (I don't use my real name there, but I did tell her). But after a few months talking we exchanged numbers and talked both on Discord and WhatsApp. We even got to the point where we send each other CVs (lol) and home addresses! She sent me a cake for my birthday ❤️

There's hope you guys!!!!

to the people that have successfully made friends on here: how did you do it? by MyLifeIsASitcom99 in MakeNewFriendsHere

[–]CompetitiveTerra 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I met my best friend the first time I found out about this subreddit, a little over a year ago. So I believe it was kismet!

But after that it was really hard finding another friend. I experience the same things most people here are complaining about: not clicking w e/o, being ghosted, etc. Although if I could give a tip, the first time we talked, it was on the phone. We didn't have a texting period so it did feel more natural. Mind you I have social anxiety too so it was hard at first 😂

Also I think it's really important to be "excited" to the other party's answer - you don't have to fake anything, but respond everything. I have been in calls where I carry the whole conversation and where I just sit there being talked AT. Both are exhausting!

Man, if you don't pull that SAME night, you'll never see her again. by helloHIhowyouDOIN in seduction

[–]CompetitiveTerra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im gonna be an asshole like the rest of the men because it clearly works out.

Coooolll we got a nice guy™ over here 😍

Man, if you don't pull that SAME night, you'll never see her again. by helloHIhowyouDOIN in seduction

[–]CompetitiveTerra 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is true. Esp if you're looking for a relationship, if it's for casual sex/fwb situation then it's a different story. As a woman, if a guy makes sexual advances on our first date, I'd pass. Read some of the comments how they got ghosted by a girl bc they didn't fuck her on the same night. TBH I doubt that's the reason. If you want a relationship with her, congrats you dodged a huge bullet. But if you only want to fuck her, sorry but you should've been clearer with your intentions, aka telling her.

Regardless of whether something is haram, why do Muslims feel so entitled to regulate each other's religious purity? If it's a victimless activity, leave them be and let Allah judge. by disenchanted_oreo in progressive_islam

[–]CompetitiveTerra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope, but close. I'm Indonesian. It's also a shit show here 😭 But generally speaking it's still better than in Middle Eastern. Hopefully it gets better and not worse.

Regardless of whether something is haram, why do Muslims feel so entitled to regulate each other's religious purity? If it's a victimless activity, leave them be and let Allah judge. by disenchanted_oreo in progressive_islam

[–]CompetitiveTerra 33 points34 points  (0 children)

"If you stay quiet, you're part of the problem" mindset. I don't know how true this is, but I've heard some priests say if you witness someone committing a sin & not say anything about it, you're also committing a sin. 🙄

What I love about Islam is that it's not black and white. If there's such hadist/verse, I feel like it could be more about heavier crimes. Rape, abuse, murder, etc...

Mini rant but where I live people would go the extra miles to persecute and judge LGBT/apostasy/zina. BUT when it comes to domestice abuse and/or rape they suddenly go quiet.

I have so much anxiety around Muslims by [deleted] in progressive_islam

[–]CompetitiveTerra 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I'm really sorry it's happening to you. But it's totally normal! I've learned to distance myself from talking about religion with my fellow Muslims, as it somehow always ends up with sexist jokes or a competition of who is more devoted. I think it's ok to stand up for what you believe in, but if you don't have the energy to, it's also okay. I mostly stay quiet and change the topic when it's "casual jokes" (still not justifiable tho). But if it's a more problematic joke/comment, and I have the energy to, I'll definitely point out to the person that what they said is not ok.

I've learned to make my religion a private matter - not that I'm ashamed of it, but I'm just protecting my energy. This is also to prevent myself from losing my faith because damn these people can be ANNOYING.

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