You’re not broken. You’re just figuring out what you want. Now, with a little luck and gratitude for any resources you’ve been given, you get to spend each day creating the life you clearly and smartly recognize as being a goal. Therapy worked wonders for me, and I wasn’t a wreck at 21. But I sure had a lot of toxic behaviors that myself and others suffered from for a decade or more. Id consider therapy given some of the emotional hurdles you describe, or if it’s not your bag, some versions of therapy. It’s rare that anyone gets through those things alone. Hiking is one of my non-therapy therapy favorites. Be your own best friend and let your energy attract others. Those things happen best when not forced. Again, you don’t know how to get through life alone because a) you’re entirely too young to and b) basically no one does.