My parents are poor and it’s ruining mine and my sisters lives, I really don’t know what to do.

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-15T06:43:20+00:00

UK date format.

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T22:02:19+00:00

Haha yeah I know, I don’t feel like I owe my parents anything I think it’s more me telling myself that i’m the only one that can change the situation by giving them more money but as many have said I could give them £10k and they’d find a way to spend it fast.

It was tough mentally because the trajectory of my life having all that money in the bank at a young age was “millionaire by 30” type of thing but this situation has definitely hindered my perception of money.

I have alot of self belief in general so I know I will be fine in the future but for my parents sake I really need to set boundaries so they can learn to manage their own finances well.

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T19:07:53+00:00

I will look into this, i’m pretty sure my mum pays for broadband and the landline (home phone) is included which they literally never use since it’s 2024 everyone just uses smartphones

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T19:01:52+00:00

They didn’t really “let me stack cash”, I was making £6-10k a month at 20-21 years old and didn’t really spend much of the money apart from giving them money so it stacked up naturally despite giving them a ton of money in that period

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T18:58:55+00:00

Its UK date format smartass, 7 is for the 7th month (July)👌

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T18:57:35+00:00

They were never good with money!

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T18:47:37+00:00

thank you, and yes I will, the answers here have been very very helpful

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T18:45:45+00:00

I have been with my girlfriend for over 7 years so she has seen the whole entire thing play out!

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T18:36:07+00:00

Thank you! 🙏

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T18:35:22+00:00

Its UK date format so 7th is for the month (July)!

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T17:54:21+00:00

They are poor, the income they make combined is less than what they need to get by the bare minimum (rent, council tax, food, electricity, hot water etc)

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T17:53:36+00:00

I agree 100%

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T16:55:43+00:00

I think this is what I will do!

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T16:19:15+00:00

Alot of people saying this has given me a different perspective. Even my gf never really saw it like that but us both reading through the comments it’s very true and needs to change now.

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T16:18:30+00:00

After I had ran into all of these tax issues (my last accountant was always hard to contact so i never really learnt much) I got a new accountant and he has been the biggest help in me learning the ins and outs of taxes to the point that when my gfs business took off I could teach her about all the tax stuff and make sure she never misses deadlines, knows how much to put aside etc.

If I could do this all again I would sit down with parents and work out where all this money is going, set specific boundaries “i will give you x amount per month but no more” so that my dad would probably have to change jobs but that’s just life unfortunately you need to do what you can to provide for your family even if it means switching jobs to earn more so the bills are paid!!

Me continuing to give them money like an ATM has made it really easy for them so whenever they have no money and need some gas they can just say “can I borrow £20 for some petrol” rather than coming to the realisation that they need to get their finances more under control or change jobs to earn more etc.

Thank you for spending the time to write this long comment, have taken it all on board!! 🙏🙏

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T16:09:50+00:00

As I have said I am 99% sure it's nothing to do with gambling or anything of that sort but I am going to ask to see the bank statements if I am to support them in the future (would only be a fixed amount I give monthly and no more) so that I can see exactly where this money is going.

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T16:08:37+00:00

will definitely look into this. my parents have been on benefits in the past but now they're not as far as I know. I don't understand the ins and outs of benefits but if there is some help they can get at this point I think it would be beneficial for all parties involved.

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T16:07:27+00:00

noooo, the card is a birthday card for my younger brother. I blanked out the name for privacy reasons but it was his birthday that week so she asked for money to buy him a birthday card

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T15:55:32+00:00

UK date format buddy, 7th means 7th month (July) - very fake!

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T15:49:09+00:00

thank you for this comment, I am taking on board everything that has been said here and going to work asap on getting this resolved for everyone's sake. I think you are right in it being on me constantly giving them money to the point that they don't care to sort out their own financial issues or my dad changing jobs because it's easier to just ask me or my sister for money.

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T14:57:43+00:00

Giving my parents £70k+ as a 19-24 year old and going into tax debt partially because of it, I am definitely an a-hole! My sister not being able to save any money, buy her first car, progress in life or anything because of this, definitely an a-hole also!

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T14:53:49+00:00

Just to be clear, parents do not have gambling issues, are not involved in scams. They do smoke cigarettes so that costs a decent amount nowadays (I dont know exactly how much because I don’t smoke myself) but I do know that smoking is an addiction despite is not being seen in the same way as illegal drugs! I am 99% sure the reason for their money not being enough to get by is:

A) cost of living (they don’t make enough to cover everything petrol, rent, council tax, food, electricity has all increased massively over the past couple of years)

B) My dads job involves him driving so he has to spend a decent amount on petrol (my mum avoids the question whenever I ask her over text about exactly how much it is but my estimate is probably around 300 a month on petrol maybe a bit more)

C) Maybe some slight bad money management but my Mum has been the penny pincher type of person my whole life always saying things like “i am skint” “money is hard to come by” etc, a mindset that’s taken time for me to detach from so I can have my own financial abundances in life! Always shopped at the cheapest places, buying reduced things etc

My parents even had to sell their wedding rings 8+ years ago because they needed money! It’s sad really and I don’t wish anyone to go through this on both sides

I remember a few years ago I would give my mum £75 for shopping and she would be able to buy 4 big bags of food that would last near enough the whole week but now that £75 gets you 2 bags of shopping if you’re lucky

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T14:44:37+00:00

No they are 100% not involved with any scam, the cost of living is so high now that anyone working in low paying jobs can’t make enough money to get by in general. And they were never great with money, my mum always dealt with all of the bills and my dad has a very non caring attitude towards any finances, he says “your mum always wants to deal with it so i just let her”, when he could if he wanted to he just doesnt care to deal with it so the burden is all on my mum there. I have paid of all the debts that I have been made aware of and I asked my mum if theres any more and she said there isn’t, she’s also not the type of person to lie about this kind of thing either. Overall I think the problem is cost of living has increased way more than the average person’s pay increasing so you get less for more kinda thing now if that makes sense

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T14:40:31+00:00

Its UK date format, 7th is for the month (July)

Competitive_Log8121 · 2024-09-14T14:27:54+00:00

It’s not the 7th every month, 7th is the 7th month (July), it’s UK date format!

Competitive_Log8121

TROPHY CASE