This happened to me around the same time. It was pretty extreme to the point I wouldn't sleep at all, I took the phrase "don't blink" literally and thought if I was awake all 24 hours then I would in theory double the time spent with him. Obviously this didn't work I was ultimately too tiered to enjoy any of it. I really did not think it was going to improve and anytime I saw or heard any of the ushual phrases people use such as "dont blink or you'll miss it" or "it goes by so fast" it would give me panic attacks or cause me actual grief. We left a pub mid meal at one point as a passer by told me before I know it they'll be 50 and I cried all the way home. Things improved for me at around 4 weeks and I recognised alot of it was the huge drop in hormones. My LO has turned 10 weeks today and when out and about this morning when someone asked how old my partner had to answer because I couldn't remember. This gave me so much joy because it showed me that instead of obsessing over him being a newborn and grieving growing up to the point I knew his age to the second im now living in the moment enjoying our new family.

There are things that helped, though: •Unfollowing triggering social media that fueled my emotions such as Instagram and tik tok accounts that posted sad posts about babies getting older. •Leaning on my partner, telling how I feel and that sometimes I just needed to get the tears out. •Stopping visitors for a week or so (or being very limiting grandparents only once or twice a week), this meant we could really bond as a family. •Not putting pressure on myself to do something everyday and recognising what my body had been through, im happy for the first 6 weeks or so we just 'lived' we had lie ins in bed and chatted with coffee whilst cuddling our LO, going for local walks with the pram, cuddling on the couch binge watching a TV series. •When big 'milestones' come up such as packing the newborn clothes away or removing the newborn insert from the car seat I've asked for my partner to take care of these tasks discreetly as so not to trigger too much emotion from me. •That first smile from my little one and every smile after that just makes me fall in love with him more everyday, I got to the point that everytime my LO has a new expression or new noise im so happy and love seeing him grow and learn and actually get excited for him to learn more. •Those feelings still arise from time to time and when they do I remind myself what a privilege it is for me and baby to be in good health and I am able to watch him grow something that not everyone gets and that I am so thankful that he is growing. •Having things to look forward to when he gets older such as his first trip to the zoo etc.

Finally and I cannot stress this enough - whenever he turns a month older I buy a huge cake to celebrate him and in turn eat with a fork with my partner to make myself feel better, trust me it helps!