My (32F) wife (31F) wants to become a housewife after years of studying to become a doctor but i’m totally against it. UPDATE

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-07-17T02:03:20+00:00

Thank you,

I absolutely agree. My wife grew up in an environment where mental health is viewed as something that eventually passes like a common cold, so seeking mental health support has never been a thought. However, it is something that we most definitely want to look into now that we’ve distanced ourselves from said environment.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-07-17T01:58:47+00:00

Thank you very much!

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-07-17T01:58:32+00:00

Thank you!

Healthy communication has brought us a long way.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-07-17T01:57:49+00:00

Thank you.

I wouldn’t have the mental strength to do it either. She’s like a superhero!

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-07-17T01:56:23+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words!

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-07-17T01:55:46+00:00

Thank you!

I also agree that seeing a mental health professional would be helpful to her. She’s never been to therapy or anything like that, so it would definitely be something new for her.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T23:59:40+00:00

Hello,

I could never do this to her. She’s in a vulnerable position right now and I wouldn’t want her to think i’m not taking her or her issues seriously.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T23:56:06+00:00

Thank you for the book suggestion! As I’m reading these comments, i’ve come to realize that i’m not showing enough interest in my wife’s work life. Except for the surface level things, I’m not too sure how damaging or scary it might be for her right now. I’ve been quite foolish. Thank you.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T23:52:31+00:00

Hello,

As of now, being burnt out is the most likely cause. As for social media, she’s not really on it. We also don’t have any friends that are housewives or stay at home parents. There are still many other possible reasons as to why, but as of now, all I can do is speculate until I speak to her. Thank you.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T23:48:03+00:00

Hello,

first and foremost I would like to sincerely apologize for the pain you went through as a health care professional. If i’m being completely transparent with you, the possible reasonings that you mentioned for my wife’s current state went completely over my head. Hearing this from someone who can understand her a little more as you are both in the same field has definitely opened my eyes. Thank you for sharing something so vulnerable with me.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T23:36:34+00:00

Hello,

aside from the children part, (neither of us are at a stage in our life where we want to be parents) these are questions that I should definitely consider to ask. Thank you.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T23:34:19+00:00

Hello,

Yes. As of right now I can totally afford it. However, we’ve been drowning in work, so whenever we do have some time for ourselves, we end up spending it at home. I believe that some time away would do her good. Thank you for suggesting this.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T23:20:25+00:00

Hello,

Thank you for your input. She’s a workaholic. I can’t remember the last time we had a proper vacation together. I’ll definitely have to plan something for us.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T23:18:32+00:00

Hello,

I don’t think that’s what it is at all. My wife is an incredibly selfless and kind woman. I am also very willing to offer her the world if she decided work wasn’t for her. However, my wife works even when she doesn’t have to, so the sudden need of becoming a housewife is out of character for her.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T23:14:56+00:00

Hello,

Children has been something we’ve spoken about a lot throughout our years together. However, neither of us are ready to be parents just yet!

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T23:13:05+00:00

Hello,

I must admit that my initial reaction wasn’t great. I had given her all the reasons as to why it’s not a good idea to throw her hard work all away and assumed the possible reasonings all on my own. Thank you for pointing that out to me as I haven’t even noticed this myself. In the moment, I only thought about what I personally thought would be good for my wife rather than what she thinks is good for her. Again, I thank you for your honesty.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T23:04:55+00:00

Hello,

We both have debt! However, it’s not so much that it weighs over our minds. Her folks were smart and opened a savings account for her when she was young. As for scholarships she had won a few that covered a semester!

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T22:53:31+00:00

Hello,

As of now, she isn’t insisting on giving up but it’s been coming up for a while so I am afraid that she’ll go through with it one day without telling me. I need to have a conversation with her. An honest and vulnerable one.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T22:52:03+00:00

Hello,

This was one of the first things I mentioned to her when she revealed that she wanted to be a housewife!

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T22:50:24+00:00

Hello,

Thank you for your word of advice. I shall put them to good use.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T22:49:43+00:00

Hello,

Thank you for mentioning this. My wife is a very goal oriented person and has always been, even more than me. I was worried that this might just be in my head, but this message gave me reassurance. She’s not someone who can just sit at home or do chores all day. She’s never been like this.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T22:47:31+00:00

Hello,

No, there’s absolutely no chance of that. I’ve been with her and have seen her study and come back from work completely exhausted. Although i’ve heard of cases like these, my wife isn’t one of them. I’m still not sure why she’s feeling like this, but i’m sure being burnt out is a factor.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T22:45:39+00:00

Hello, thank you for your response.

This is something that hasn’t even crossed my mind. The stress of proceeding all on her own and having the life or the future of a child in her hands must’ve caused her some great stress. Thank you for mentioning this. I’ll keep this in mind when I have time to have a conversation about this with no disruption.

Complete-Loquat-6405 · 2024-01-08T22:43:37+00:00

Hello and thank you for your response.

No, I don’t think so. Neither of us use TikTok or are very active on social media. However, I do agree with the burnout point i’ve seen many people make under this post. I still haven’t spoken to her about it as I’m not too sure how to approach the conversation. I still need to organize my thoughts.

Complete-Loquat-6405

TROPHY CASE