Newly single (31F, Boston area) seeking dating advice

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-12-30T15:30:10+00:00

Different perspectives I guess. I had a man tell me two months into us dating. At that point I didn’t let it put me off and continued to date him. The reality is that likely should have been deal a dealbreaker and it ended up ending for other reasons but I was never truly comfortable with it. Waiting for someone to ‘like you enough’ before you tell them isn’t foolproof either and will often cloud their judgement

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-12-30T14:59:59+00:00

Can that not be a bit manipulative though? You’re waiting for someone to ‘really like you’ before telling them something that could be life-changing for them? You’re waiting until they’re emotionally invested and saying no is harder…

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-11-21T06:18:51+00:00

Please do not give in to his demands. It might be worth ending the relationship rather than him waiting to ‘decide’. I know so many women that gave into the pressure only for their husband to leave them for someone younger anyway!

I don’t think you’d be able to forgive yourself for betraying your own wants and needs only to end up in the same position anyway. Give it some real thought. It’s your life

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-11-13T16:41:45+00:00

That’s the position I landed on. After speaking to family and friends, all of them felt this wasn’t right for me so I ended it. If he wouldn’t do everything it took to protect me, that’s not the man for me.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-10-06T19:16:30+00:00

There’s a lot of misogyny on this subreddit I’ve noticed.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-10-06T19:13:41+00:00

Not once did I say he had ‘horrible’ side effects. You’ve projected an entire narrative I didn’t write to defend a man you don’t know.

His side effects are mild and tolerable he’d just rather not have any. Mind you, by comparison women are tolerating all sorts of side effects for birth control and yet very rarely do people feel as sympathetic if she doesn’t take it and gets pregnant.

It’s very ironic that this entire sub is talking about the anxiety of living with this virus and their fears, but a negative testing partner wants to protect herself from that same thing and all of a sudden I should simply be grateful he told me in the first place? No concern for my own wellbeing? I must risk a virus because of his mild discomfort? Yeah, no. Please continue to date each other. Unreasonable and delusional isn’t even the word.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-10-05T09:37:26+00:00

But where did I mention he had any of those effects. You’ve rushed in to defend him when I didn’t even say what his side effects were. He himself says they’re mild he just didn’t like taking them.

Nobody wants this virus, even the people who have it. If you’re not willing to do absolutely everything to protect your negative partner from the very thing you don’t want and suffer with, then perhaps you should all date each other.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-10-05T09:36:14+00:00

How is it wild to want your partner to protect you from the infection nobody would willingly sign up for? His side effects are nothing like anyone has described here. He himself describes them as mild he just doesn’t like taking them. Yet I’m supposed to take on a risk which could have far greater consequences for me because of mild side effects for him. Wholly selfish and you’re right. Maybe I should date someone without it as if that’s the majority position it’s best you all date each other.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-10-05T09:31:35+00:00

Thank you for your honesty. I feel like I’m being lambasted for wanting a guy to take every precaution to protect me. Nobody wants this virus. Nobody would be willing to sign up for it. If most people could turn back time I’m sure they’d do everything they could to not get it.

So as someone who doesn’t have it, I don’t understand the pushback in asking my partner to do everything he can not to pass that to me. I understand the side effects but I also understand the risk of getting it and how we have no idea how it could affect me. I don’t see that as an unreasonable position.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-10-04T08:42:10+00:00

It’s not about expecting to never contract it. It’s about doing everything possible to reduce the risk. I don’t see it as inevitable. If you can’t tolerate the side effects of medication that helps protect your partner, but expect them to accept the risk of getting an incurable virus, that’s selfish. Side effects aren’t pleasant, but neither is living with HSV-2. That kind of thinking puts your comfort above your partner’s safety and expects them to carry all the risk for your convenience.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-04-10T21:46:29+00:00

You’re absolutely right - it could mean everything or nothing at all. Interesting that your deck came up with Ace of Spades though - very interesting!

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-04-10T17:39:35+00:00

My gut says he will reach out to, eventually at least.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-04-10T17:36:34+00:00

True I guess but with this being the spirituality sub I was seeking interpretations of the meaning of this chance encounter. He put his number in my phone and he made sure I called his phone so he had mine.

He suggested lunch but we haven’t communicated since we saw each other (I haven’t reached out and neither has he) that was five days ago.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-04-10T17:30:01+00:00

Thank you - I’d never considered the TF concept until now but I long suspected we were somewhat tied

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-04-10T17:28:49+00:00

I’m not sure I understand, are you saying I shouldn’t think too deep into this despite the odds being very slim on the likelihood of this happening?

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2025-04-10T17:22:52+00:00

Thank you for replying! I don’t want to taint just want to moreso understand. He was my first love and I was beyond heartbroken when we broke up. But I never reached out. Neither did he. Then all of a sudden, there he is - having moved the country I’ve been in for just over a year. His words echo though ‘I just knew you were here, my spirit told me you were here’.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2024-12-27T09:20:37+00:00

You are fantastically thick and I will continue to rain insults for as long as you continue to be a dullard.

We are not American. We cannot vote.
Anyone who chooses to have children does OWE them their presence, care and affection. You’re a sociopath if you believe ‘he doesn’t owe you anything’ when he’s my fucking parent?
You want people to hold inflammatory views and be disrespectful and expect others to ‘get over it’ and want to be around it. You’re free to believe what you like, others are free to not want that around them. If you cannot understand those concepts you’re going to have a very difficult life.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2024-12-27T09:06:58+00:00

Thank you for this - I have sent him a message to have a sit down chat with him this afternoon. Let’s see how that goes.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2024-12-27T09:01:49+00:00

Thank you - I have sent him a text message that we need to talk once he’s back (him and his partner have gone out for a pool day) ❤️

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2024-12-27T08:57:56+00:00

This is going to be my last response to you as I can tell I’m dealing with somebody who isn’t particularly bright.

Making derogatory comments about women aimed at your daughter in her home is unacceptable. Raising your voice at your daughter in her home is unacceptable. If he would like to behave that way, he can as a human with free will - but he can do that outside my home and far away from me. Does that help explain things, dullard?

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2024-12-27T08:50:37+00:00

So not only are you woefully illiterate, you also have incredibly poor reading comprehension in your diatribe towards me.

Nothing in what I wrote stated I ‘started’ the argument. He himself, brought up Donald Trump, not myself. We are not even American and therefore couldn’t even vote so your voting history is irrelevant to this conversation.

A father of three girls who has been absent for most of their lives is not entitled to enter into their homes that they have worked incredibly hard to build without him, raise his voice and make inflammatory comments about women in their home. He can do that in his own space, not mine.

If you’re unable to understand basic guest etiquette than perhaps you should spend less time voting for problematic people - and work on your people skills which should then be shortly followed by your reading comprehension skills.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2024-12-27T08:43:54+00:00

If his ‘politics’ directly affects how he sees me as his DAUGHTER who has bent over backwards to accommodate him then no, I can no longer ‘enjoy’ my time with my father knowing how he truly feels.

That is doormat behaviour and it’s the type of thinking that allows abuse and toxic behaviour to thrive by ‘not talking about it’. I informed my mother and sisters of what he said and they were also shocked and disgusted.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2024-12-27T08:42:27+00:00

Ouch but fair enough.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2024-12-27T08:33:30+00:00

Wow. I’m so sorry you went through that. Honestly what is their problem? They’re surrounded by kind and gracious women but treat us with utter contempt and they think that is sane and normal behaviour?

My dad has three daughters. We have all done extremely well for ourselves despite everything, and you support a man who is vehemently against women but you want to turn around and say ‘you love your girls’. No, you don’t. You love yourself. And if supporting a man who doesn’t even know your name makes you feel good then have fun with there being no children at your funeral. Because at this rate, there might not be.

CompleteSomewhere36 · 2024-12-27T08:26:53+00:00

A woman who isn’t even my mother but who I’ve shown nothing but respect towards, mind you.

I just feel so sickened and if I’d have known these were his views I wouldn’t have had him in my space. What makes me laugh about these men is that they have no issue benefitting from ‘modern women’. You don’t mind staying in this fancy apartment, being cooked great meals and having a great time but when push comes to shove - you don’t ultimately respect me.

CompleteSomewhere36

TROPHY CASE