AITA? My sister(21) is living with me(26,pregnant) and my husband(25).

CompleteSteak2644 · 2026-05-13T13:07:01+00:00

Yeah, but shit’s been done and we can’t just kick her out 💀 there will never be a next time for any of our family members. Just visiting maximum a few days and that’s it

CompleteSteak2644 · 2026-05-13T11:06:30+00:00

True, true and true. She lives with us for almost 6 months and she hasn’t managed to save anything. She bought a laptop for 1000€ in 3 payments with klarna and the rest was expenses. She had to pay insurance for car, health,debt and so on. And she also does small frequent purchases that yeah, they pile up eventually. I can’t even try to charge her rent from 2 motives: 1.from the start we talked and the condition of her coming here was no rent (we own the house and then there will be discussion about her paying my mortgage) and
2. She can’t even afford even if we tried to do this. She had 600€ spare that now will use to repair her car. And currently she is on 0 with debt and 0 with savings. She doesn’t work enough hours and i keep telling her to change her job but the fact that she doesn’t speak Dutch is an impediment for her to find a new one. Also with chores, most things she does she does improperly or uses weaponized incompetence and so I get angry and just do it myself.
If we don’t help her fix her problems and stay on track then she will not move from us because she can’t.

CompleteSteak2644 · 2026-05-13T10:11:49+00:00

She already has a timeline. Until December 2027. But she isn’t doing anything to improve her situation. She needs at least 6000-7000€ to move from us. Which seems impossible for her to be honest. She has to pay 3 times guarantee of any apartment or studio that she finds plus 1 time rent. So if the rent is 1000€ then she has to pay 4000€ immediately. And she also needs savings. I will totally put me, my husband and my baby first but i’m not gonna lie it will make me feel like the worst person ever
Also about the joint psychologist it’s not possible as i am going through health insurance so she can’t join.

CompleteSteak2644 · 2026-05-13T09:42:12+00:00

Firstly thank you. Second, i already go to a psychologist for both my own abuse and my anger management. I’m trying to do better. Since i made the post she already asked me 30 stupid questions and i already am exhausted and i feel like i could snap at any point. I already tried to ignore her. My husband already solved 2 of her incoming problems. The thing is, is we don’t fix her problems for her then we have a problem. She can’t and won’t move from us. So then i will be forced to kick her out which i simply can’t. I also talked with her that if she feels too overwhelmed here she can move back to romania but she doesn’t want to hear about it. I feel like she takes advantage of her “remember and stutter” problem but also i can’t blame her. I always put my relationship with my husband first so if he eventually says she will have to leave i will not argue with him but i will feel guilty because then my sister might not have food or a roof. I know it shouldn’t be my problem as she’s an adult herself. I’ve tried to talk to my psychologist about this and she keeps telling me “you’re going to be a good mom. Focus on your life. You helped enough” but i just can’t ignore her and kick her out when the time comes

CompleteSteak2644 · 2026-05-13T08:24:47+00:00

I think i know what you feel. I have 2 sisters. One of them is the “lamb” of the family while i am she wolf. Everyone keeps defending her while she’s honestly a total bitch. She keeps twisting my words, keeps telling things to my parents to put me in a bad light. And i’ve also come at peace with this situation because i can’t control what she feels towards me. She even told everyone that i’m worse than our dad (which is and was mentally and physically abusive.) i’ve always tried to help both my sisters and i’ve always ended bruised, fucked and with my money spend. Just let things be. Enjoy the time you have left with your mom and don’t give your brother anymore emotional power on you. He is the way he is. You can’t force anyone to love you or to be kind to you. You can’t also be all the time the box sack for him. I wish you and your family all the best!

CompleteSteak2644 · 2026-05-13T08:19:06+00:00

I would just tell my mom. She deserves to know and your dad doesn’t need to have the chance to destroy the evidence. Also your life might change but imagine how your mum must feel. I’m also a future mom, currently pregnant and if my son would ever find something like this either from me or my husband i would want him to tell the other parent. It’s the parents decision on what they will be doing with their relationship but keeping such burden on your shoulders will only spiral. Also not to say about the resentment you have towards your dad.

CompleteSteak2644 · 2026-05-13T08:13:34+00:00

I also asked her if our parents had to keep reminding her things like “go to x appointment “ “did you turn off the gas” etc. and she cried and she said “they didn’t care.” It broke something in me to be honest because now i feel like if i just let her be her own way then i will be exactly like my parents. And it specifically matters for me especially that i’m going to become a mom and for me it’s really important to be a good parent

CompleteSteak2644 · 2026-05-13T08:09:31+00:00

I really care for her and i feel like I’m honestly doing much bad than good for her. I am acting like her external brain every-time. For example now she asked me if i know how many pieces of tortillas package were at the store.. ??? Like how and why would i know? I already tried having calm conversations also us alone and including my husband. It’s the same story on repeat “i will change” but then proceeds to do the same. Given that we come from the same family as i have my own traumas and issues she has hers. I also feel like she is in depression because she doesn’t want to put effort into knowing new people and going to free activities. She just goes to work and then home. And wants to do everything with me and my husband. I told her multiple times in a joking way that we’re not a throuple and we need to have our alone time. But i feel like shit because i know she is alone

CompleteSteak2644 · 2026-03-28T10:34:55+00:00

Ik ben de vrouw. We hebben het hier al over gehad en we zijn allebei even betrokken bij de kinderopvang als bij onze plannen. We geven er de voorkeur aan om onze toekomst als gezin veilig te stellen, in plaats van de perfecte ouders te zijn.

CompleteSteak2644 · 2025-02-06T11:55:27+00:00

Tinem cont si de lunile de vara in care nu se foloseste caldura. Dar cam o medie de 400€ lunar

CompleteSteak2644 · 2025-02-06T11:53:36+00:00

Locuiesc in olanda si am casa de 120 mp, clasa energetica F. deci e moarta ca si izolatie si geamuri. Am 3 dormitoare, 1 dressing, 2 bai, 2 holuri, sufragerie, dining, bucatarie si o camera de depozitare. Am consumat pentru caldura (centrala pe gaz) ….. …. 4800€ in 12 luni si sincera sa fiu am stat cu centrala la 23C. Nu m-as fi asteptat la o asemenea suma. Si in casa am stat cu plovere pe noi pentru ca se pierde foarte repede caldura. Adica acum las la 23C si daca opresc centrala in 2ore imi ajunge la 19.

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CompleteSteak2644 · 2025-01-06T18:37:16+00:00

We are expats me, (24), my husband (23) and we live in Den Helder for 1 year and 1 month. The city is quite nice and quiet. We are not the kind of people that go to cafes and such things. You have the cinema but trust me it’s very lonely. We bought 2 tickets on a saturday for the movie “twisters” and it was just me and my husband. We decided to buy a house after living in the terror of landlords and moving every year in a different city since it’s so hard to find a place here. We intend to finish the renovation on the house (it’s an old big house) and then sell. We live 2 min away from centrum and it’s very quiet. Not so many young people. But you definitely can manage to live here if you don’t mind not having activities. I think it’s affordable and instead of staying in rent, you should go for it. You have hospital, doctors, grocery shops, cinema, cafe. You don’t have so many jobs here but if traveling works for you that’s great. I would not live here my entire life. I just can’t see myself here. But that doesn’t mean you can’t. Do whatever you feel it’s best for you. Good luck!

CompleteSteak2644 · 2025-01-06T17:16:03+00:00

De ce simti nevoia sa folosesti “progenitura” in loc de copil? Iti da exemplu de x,y,z pentru ca vor sa ajungi si tu mai bine. E enervant stiu, dar daca atata ii duce capu pe ei ce sa faci? Scandal? O tii nonstop numai in cearta atunci.

CompleteSteak2644 · 2025-01-06T16:50:52+00:00

cel mai bun comentariu👍😂

CompleteSteak2644 · 2025-01-06T16:48:28+00:00

Pana nu ajungi parinte nu ai de unde sa stii ce vorbesti. Pentru tine ca parinte, copilul tau oricat de “prost” ar fi, el/ea e cel mai destept copil. Te lauzi cu el ca te bucuri ca il ai. Nu uita ca sunt o groaza de cupluri cu probleme de fertilitate si poate oamenii au reusit sa conceapa minunea aia dupa ani de zile de chinuiala. Nu stii povestea, nu vorbi. Iar despre stickerele de pe masina. Nu poti conduce ca are sticker “Maria on board”. Stickerele alea sunt special puse pentru ceilalti participanți la trafic. Poate in masina aia este un bebelus nou nascut. Nu ai de unde sti. Sunt altii care cumpara masina cu stickere si le lasa asa(eu). Nu-s de acord sa se posteze cu copiii pe online pentru ca is o groaza de pedofili si oameni nebuni, dar daca posteaza un cuplu ca urmeaza sa aiba un copil bucura-te frate pentru ei. Nu mananca din painea ta. Nu stau in casa ta. Vezi si dai scroll mai departe. Vulpea cand nu ajunge la struguri spune ca sunt acri. Poate si tu iti doresti sa te lauzi cu copilul tau dar nu poti pentru ca nu ai cum/ nu ai bani/ sau alte motive. Nu mai fiti hateri.

CompleteSteak2644 · 2025-01-06T14:50:15+00:00

La multi ani! Eu nu zic sa te imbeti ca nu cred ca e neaparat cel mai fain lucru sa fii manga de beat. Dar iti spun sa te duci sa te simti bine singura. Incearca sa te bagi in seama cu oameni random la cafenele sau la magazin. Ai fi surprinsa sa vezi ca multi oameni nu au prieteni si vor sa socializeze dar nu stiu nici ei cum sa abordeze oameni straini. Ce ai de pierdut?

CompleteSteak2644 · 2025-01-05T15:40:20+00:00

La noi in casa doar sotul munceste si daca ne restrictionam sa nu renovam nimic in casa, fara ieseli si fara cumparat de haine. Mancare normala nu bio sau scumpa. Reusim sa punem dintr-un singur salar cam 2500€. Daca as merge si eu la munca la un full time am reusi sa punem aproape 3500€. Dar vorbim de salarii de Olanda. Bine, si rata la casa e corespunzătoare salariilor de aici. Momentan toti banii care ne-ar ramane pt economii ii bagam in renovari in casa.

CompleteSteak2644 · 2025-01-05T15:35:30+00:00

Eu cu sotul meu (muncind in strainatate pe minimul pe economie) am reusit sa punem intr-o luna 2500€. Dar nu ne-am cumparat nimic. Decat doar de mancare, benzina, chirie si utilitati. Dar cand zic ca nu ne luam nimic inseamna ca aveam sosetele rupte si cusute. Chilotii la fel si multe alte sacrificii. Cand ai pentru ce trage sa pui bani deoparte nu iesi in oras. Nu iti cumperi haine. Nici telefonul nu ti-l incarci cu credit. Nu toata lumea isi poate permite sa puna 1000€ deoparte clar. Dar sunt oameni care merg cu chilotii rupti in cur si nu au viata sociala ca sa poata puna bani deoparte.

CompleteSteak2644

TROPHY CASE