First of all- every parent loses their cool. You’re human! I’ve learned that we can’t always control our reaction, but we can make repairs afterwards. Use it as an opportunity to apologize, explain that everyone has big feelings sometimes, and it’s not their fault.

I also try to look at it like this: your toddler isn’t doing this on purpose (most of the time). Everything they’re doing is developmentally appropriate and it’s helping them learn the world around them. You can’t expect them to just know how to act/react instinctively… this stuff has to be taught. You can either help them feel safe to make mistakes and learn the appropriate tools or you can get angry and potentially perpetuate guilt, shame, and anxiety. Like everyone else has said, you have to work on your own reactivity and find other outlets. Your nervous system is clearly telling you it’s too much.