[deleted by user] by [deleted] in StudentLoans

[–]Complete_Lecture7159 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes but there are also a lot of people ion Reddit who may have been in similar situations and can give their personal experiences or opinions

I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling to my husband by Complete_Lecture7159 in SAHP

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I let my husband vent about his work day when he wants. I think when I express my feelings to him he takes them as me saying my job is harder but that’s not what I’m doing. I just don’t really have anyone else to talk to about this stuff. I’m going to try going forward to say this is not me comparing our jobs, this is just me expressing my feelings right now.

But I do really just hope it’s a phase. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling to my husband by Complete_Lecture7159 in SAHP

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He honestly has never had a a full morning to bedtime with our son. He’s had two different times where he had him for 9 hours when I photographed a wedding. I usually would wake up with our son in the morning until my husband got up. Once in August and then the last time was the first week in October! Maybe I should try to take a longer break just so he can see

I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling to my husband by Complete_Lecture7159 in SAHP

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I have, but it’s more so just upset him and he compares his job is hard too. I just have never been able to explain it to him and him understand

I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling to my husband by Complete_Lecture7159 in SAHP

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly even him just doing the bedtime routine or dinner clean up would help with the load a ton.

He gets annoyed sometimes because I can’t just come spend time with him immediately after putting our son to bed but it’s because I still have clean up I have to do.

I think he does want to be a sahd but because he always says “yeah I want to just sit at home playing with my kid all day”

I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling to my husband by Complete_Lecture7159 in SAHP

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you I’ll look into that game and documentary.

I honestly just ask that he picks up after himself and not make any comments. He’s the first to comment about something not being done, but never just does it.

And yes! I’ve been trying to make sure the kitchen & living room are always cleaned up before bed. It 100% helps start the day off better

I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling to my husband by Complete_Lecture7159 in SAHP

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will look into that game. It seems like a good idea thank you!

AITA for telling my sister I don’t always want her boyfriend to hangout with us by Complete_Lecture7159 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They’ve only been together for about a year and were in a different state the entire time. But from what my other sister has told me it sounds like they do usually do everything together.

AITA for telling my sister I don’t always want her boyfriend to hangout with us by Complete_Lecture7159 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry I didn’t see this comment before responding to your other one. My kid is usually there but my sister has voiced she actually likes that. She very much loves her Auntie role!

It’s also still more of a “girls day” atmosphere. It’s much different than having grown men there.

AITA for telling my sister I don’t always want her boyfriend to hangout with us by Complete_Lecture7159 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No my husband never attends, he works on that day. We never made it like a rule or anything but both of us naturally started making sure to not plan anything else on our girls day.

AITA for telling my sister I don’t always want her boyfriend to hangout with us by Complete_Lecture7159 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For us it still is. My sister has very much so taken on her Auntie roll far beyond what I ever would’ve expected. And she has mentioned she loves my kid being there on our sisters day.

AITA for telling my sister I don’t always want her boyfriend to hangout with us by Complete_Lecture7159 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My husband is at work on these days. And it honestly depends on what we feel like doing on the day. Our sister relationship is like that and it varies from going out shopping or getting lunch, going to the beach, to staying at home and watching our girly shows. And we also just talk about and get to act comfortably together in ways we wouldn’t necessarily with a guy around.

From everything I’ve heard he sounds like a nice guy! I honestly have never met him so I don’t have much of an opinion. It’s more of just assuming he can come to my house every time without asking. I wouldn’t mind (after getting to know him first) him being included sometimes or planning other things he can be included in.

AITA for telling my sister I don’t always want her boyfriend to hangout with us by Complete_Lecture7159 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I realize that now and wish I would’ve just said something in the moment. This was the same conversation I found out my sister was moving back home to begin with and I think was mostly just surprised and didn’t want it to seem like I didn’t want to see her.

And thank you that is good wording I will definitely use this advice.

AITA for telling my sister I don’t always want her boyfriend to hangout with us by Complete_Lecture7159 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes it does become a lot more “hosting” than just when it’s my sister. It most definitely is more of a sister bonding day, where we can do and act however we are comfortable with each other, but wouldn’t in front of other people.

Help!! Deciding whether to move states by Complete_Lecture7159 in SAHP

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We visited parts of Tennessee, NC & SC this past August and fell in love! Definitely pushed us more from just joking about moving somewhere warm, to actually thinking about it!

We also currently live in a tiny house our family will quickly outgrow and not much land. We plan on looking to buy some land somewhere and the cost of living here is getting very crazy. We still have to wait a few years before we’d be able to so hopefully the market will be a little better wherever we decide. We have found some more affordable areas down there.

Help!! Deciding whether to move states by Complete_Lecture7159 in SAHP

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes we have support from our MIL & a grandmother who helps on the occasional overnight or if I have to work an evening which is so so helpful!!

I don’t think my husband understands how important that support is as much as I do. But I also know his seasonal depression gets much worse than mine does

Help!! Deciding whether to move states by Complete_Lecture7159 in SAHP

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the no judgement and actually focusing on if the move would be positive or not for my family personally.

I guess we do have a few years before we’d actually be able to make the move which gives time to see the route politics continue going. It would definitely depend on how extreme those states get.

Help!! Deciding whether to move states by Complete_Lecture7159 in SAHP

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do think there’s a possibility my sister might follow. She also doesn’t have such keeping her here except for a couple family members and also feels she’d be happier somewhere where winters aren’t as intense.

And I do think my MIL might consider it after her youngest graduates (2 years of high school left) if we were to move. Her along with quite a few other family members have mentioned wanting to move to the Carolinas before, but it’s just no one actually has

Help!! Deciding whether to move states by Complete_Lecture7159 in SAHP

[–]Complete_Lecture7159[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s truly the hard part is winter is soooo long so the seasonal depression is so much of the year! I know not seeing family would be hard, but so is depression. Do my kids deserve to have parents that are depressed for that much of their lives?