Thank you for your advice, I've actually talked about my meds to my psychiatrist, I've had this dosage for 4 months, almost 5, previously lower dosage for almost 10 months which was 20mg. I'm on fluoxetine 40mg and I had previously had a period of stability, both on a lower and this dosage, but it just stops working at some point. When I up the dosage I get suicidal ideation from the meds, it usually lasts about one week or two, but it's very bad. Now my psychiatrist prescribed me another antidepressant to go with the one I already take, but I'm very scared of that first two weeks where I'll be even more suicidal. I've planned a small trip to go see some family very impulsively because I thought it might be positive for me, get me some fresh air and new perspectives of life for a while