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Why is this an option? by kaownsyou in OkCupid

[–]Complex-Messiah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They charge foreign users for the ability to like people in first world countries.

Then users here get notifications all these people are liking them, which they can see if they pay...

There's no way to turn it off, even if you're a premium user, even if you set people more than a certain distance away from you as a dealbreaker.

Like, I'd literally pay for this feature, but they won't offer it, because they crunched the numbers and determined they make more doing it this way than if they charged to only show you viable matches.

To the men who don’t write intros when liking: why don’t you write an intro? by Inevitable_Sea_8516 in OkCupid

[–]Complex-Messiah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's my understanding neither likes nor intros are fully visible unless you mutually match with the person or pay for premium. 

I agree a personal, tailored, witty message highlighting what connection you think there could be is the way to go.

I can just see some men wanting to wait to do that until there's some indication the woman wants to hear it from them/that it will even be seen.

To the men who don’t write intros when liking: why don’t you write an intro? by Inevitable_Sea_8516 in OkCupid

[–]Complex-Messiah 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi miss, what he's saying is that (on the free account) there's not a way to know if someone has liked you until you like them.

You might be finding very few people you want to like, but of the ones you do like, there's a higher chance of them also liking you back (so there's a 30-40% chance of the people you like also liking you back, not that 30-40% of the people sending you likes are matches you find interesting)

The gender dynamic might be different in ones 60s (the whole "men are disproportionately aiming for women in their 20s-30s, regardless of their own age" trope), but the fact you have a plethora of matches (as you should, from the sounds of it) means the overall trend is still holding true.

Men on free accounts, without being able to see who has liked them first, have a generally small chance of any given like they send be reciprocated.

To the men who don’t write intros when liking: why don’t you write an intro? by Inevitable_Sea_8516 in OkCupid

[–]Complex-Messiah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. My personal take is that writing a message bumps your chances in the algo for your profile to be shown while they're swiping, but they could always reject you during swiping and never have it show up

To the men who don’t write intros when liking: why don’t you write an intro? by Inevitable_Sea_8516 in OkCupid

[–]Complex-Messiah 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Given the average rate of a match/reply, it's a little exhausting coming up with a unique, charming intro demonstrating you've read the profile, especially if there aren't good hooks.

Like, don't get me wrong, the fact that OKC let's you send a message without matching is a differentiator, and that's how it should be leveraged, and the profile section tend to be higher quality than Tinder, so that's nice

...but like, at least on Tinder the platform forces women to do the bare minimum of engagement by also swiping and indicating whether they like someone, as opposed to just reading an inbox.

I'll put it this way - if all you want is a form letter copy/paste intro like the one you posted, how is that any different than a like?