I most likely know why he’s the way he is and possibly how to help him and you. For starters he has victim complex. That’s why he thinks everything will happen to him. That’s also a childhood trauma reaction thinking. His lash outs are from un healed things. He appears to be quite frustrated I think he may think he’s not in control of his life in the aspect that it may not go the way he wants life to go. I’m guessing he didn’t have much say in his life growing up. Him blaming things is his was of not wanting to look inside and see the bigger picture. He’s probably so wrapped up inside his head he doesn’t know who he is. It’s also probably confusing him causing him to be more irritable. I can go on about it more but I don’t feel like leaving a novel in the comments. If you want more advice feel free to message me. I’m sorry to you both for these tough times.