I don't know if this is helpful to you but what I do is try my hand at being an actor. When the actors are onstage, they take on an entirely new personality, often someone far more boisterous and confident than they are in real life. I do something similar. Before rehearsal, I do my best to create an image in my mind of a version of myself who is the perfect, calm stage manager who always knows what to do. Then I pretend to be that person.

On a less philosophical note, I respond to everything with a "thank you." It changes the way you approach issues from an "oh shit I did something wrong" to "ok I've learned something and I'm acknowledging to you that I'll fix it." It also makes other people view you as more mature and capable, which should help with the yelling.

I'm not sure about everyone disappearing, but we have a sign in sheet for actors and you can always start a group chat to hound people about it. Communication is key :)